Today, as I scrolled through social media, I came across a post that went along the lines of guys wanting a girl to cook for them, clean their rooms, and have sex with them while still being “just friends.”
I was stunned by how much romantic relationships had deteriorated.
People now have romantic relationships without exactly calling it what it is.
Perhaps you are in a similar situation yourself.
You have been swept off your feet by the sweet, charming words of a guy, and now you are in a situationship with someone who doesn’t want to put a label on your relationship.
You are probably wondering what it means if a guy treats you like you are exclusive and seems obviously into you but still hesitates to name your relationship.
His reason for not doing this may vary from him not liking labels to saying he doesn’t want to spoil something good by giving it a tag.
But what does it really mean if a guy doesn’t want to label your relationship?
Come along as we attempt to shed more light on the thought process of guys who hesitate to label their relationships.
If A Guy Doesn’t Want To Label Your Relationship: 9 Things It Means
1. He is content with how things are
This is one of the major reasons you should consider if a guy seems reticent to label your relationship.
If things are going well in the relationship, he may want to keep things as they are.
His reason is simply, “Why stir things up when everything seems to be going so well?”
There is this camaraderie that sometimes makes situationships so enticing.
Especially for a guy.
You may not understand it if you are not a guy.
That comfortable feeling of being with that friend who is more than a friend, but there just isn’t a label for her role yet?
It is almost unmatched by anything.
It is almost like eating your cake and having it simultaneously.
It is like having a girlfriend without having to bear boyfriend responsibilities.
By labeling the relationship, things will most certainly get more serious; expectations will change, which may destroy the casual vibe he had been enjoying in the relationship or situationship.
However, this isn’t a valid enough reason to be in a relationship without a label.
If a guy truly loves you, he will want to ensure that everyone, especially you, knows you are his.
2. He is trying to keep his options open
It isn’t exactly rocket science.
When a guy doesn’t want to label your relationship, it may mean he is trying to keep his options open.
He probably doesn’t want to commit to a relationship with you so soon because it may cramp his style and limit his chances of getting down with other ladies.
He is not comfortable publicly admitting that he is in a relationship with you and prefers to keep everything private and under wraps.
This tells me that you are just another option for him, and he doesn’t want to commit to you because it would affect his access to others.
The fact is you are not supposed to be an option to a guy who loves you.
You are meant to be a priority; the sooner you realize it, the better it will be for you.
You can’t afford to let someone waste your precious time.
3. He is not looking for a committed relationship
There was a time in my life that I wasn’t looking to have a serious relationship with anyone.
I had this friend who started caring about me a lot more than she would about a normal friend, and when she finally came clean to me, I had to tell her that I wasn’t ready for anything serious.
I remember my exact words… “I know you want my heart and flowers, but I can’t offer that to you.”
I was that blunt to her.
Some guys can’t be this way.
They don’t want to commit to a serious relationship, but they may lead you on, making you think they are interested in you.
If a guy doesn’t want to label your relationship, you should look for signs that he doesn’t want to commit generally.
The fact is that when you know what you are looking for, the signs will be obvious.
If you discover he doesn’t want to be committed to a relationship, my advice is…
Grab your things and run from that ‘ship’!
4. He is scared of the pressure of a relationship
You may be wondering how this is any different from a guy who is not looking for a committed relationship.
The difference is that this person wants to be in a committed relationship but is just scared of the pressure of a committed relationship.
The increased expectations and responsibilities may worry him, especially if he has had terrible relationships in the past.
The pressure of making things official is sometimes terrifying to young men.
This may be why that guy hesitates to label your relationship.
How do you know that he truly loves you but is just scared of commitment?
It is evident in his actions.
He spends quality time with you, loves to talk with you, and is your biggest cheerleader.
He talks about the future with you and sometimes expresses his fears of commitment to you.
You need to assure him that commitment is nothing to be afraid of and that he is already doing the job of a boyfriend.
Why do the job without the label?
5. He is confused
Sometimes, when we talk about these things, we assume that the person knows what he wants.
In reality, it is not so.
A lot of the time, guys don’t know what they want from a relationship.
They don’t even know if they want you to be their girlfriend.
So, why are they in the “relationship”?
I am tempted to tell you that if your relationship has no labels, it isn’t exactly a relationship… But I won’t.
Guys may get into “relationships” because they need companionship and intimacy, or it may just be a desperate response to the “oppression” of other friends in relationships.
He probably doesn’t know what he feels for you, and while you may want to give him some time to figure things out, you shouldn’t let a confused young man waste your time unnecessarily.
Sometimes, he may know that he has strong feelings for you.
However, he may not know how strong these feelings are.
Are they strong enough to make him want to take the relationship to the next level?
He doesn’t know his mind, and hence, he doesn’t want to label your relationship yet.
6. He doesn’t value you
People might argue that he values you enough to care about you, but I’m afraid I have to disagree.
When a guy is eager to make your relationship official, it is a sign that he cares for you.
He values you and wants you to be in his life.
He wants to grow with you.
Conversely, if a guy doesn’t want to label your relationship, it means he doesn’t care about you.
He doesn’t value your presence in his life…
At least, not enough to make your presence in his life official.
I know you may think I am extreme, so I will give you this analogy.
Imagine that you spend all your free time working at a company, helping out there, and showing how valuable you are.
Then, when you graduate from school and need employment, you go back to that company, but they say they prefer how things were in the past.
They want you to continue working for free or for a stipend.
What will your conclusion be?
Apparently, they didn’t appreciate your services.
This is the same way a guy who refuses to label your relationship treats you.
7. You have different expectations
We need to consider that you have also not been clear on your expectations from the start.
He may have told you in the beginning that he was only here for the fun, and you may have agreed then, thinking that something serious would develop with time.
Hence, you have different expectations from the relationship.
He wants to have casual fun, but in your head, you already think that a serious relationship should have developed.
This is why he is not keen on the relationship label; it means an end to casual fun and his freedom to do whatever he wants.
Do you want to continue being in a “relationship” with someone with different expectations, hoping he will get the memo later?
Well, the choice is yours, but if you ask me, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone with different expectations because you hope your expectations will align later.
It, most likely, will end with you feeling disappointed, used, and heartbroken.
8. He’s not over his ex yet
This is another viable option. If he got into a relationship with you just after a terrible breakup with an ex, you may need to consider the terrible fact that you may just be in a rebound relationship with him.
He may not be over his ex yet and may just be using you to see if you could make him forget her.
He may also have some emotional baggage from the previous relationship that he needs to work through before entering a new one.
I understand the need to deal with the past before moving on.
However, why should it be at your expense?
Why should you endure a relationship without a label because of something his ex did?
9. He is dating other ladies
Finally, the worst-case scenario…
My dear, if he doesn’t want to label your relationship, the odds are he is dating other people and doesn’t want you to cramp his style.
So, when he introduces you to others, he calls you his friend.
He doesn’t treat you like a priority and only comes around when he is out of options.
It’s time for you to decide if this is what you deserve…
A man who can’t tell the world that you are his woman for whatever reason?
Is this what you want for yourself?
I am sure you want something more for yourself because I want something more for you, and I don’t even know you.
You can stay if you feel like a little nudge in the right direction will get your boyfriend there.
However, I feel like being in a relationship without a label is like working without the reward of a worker.
You deserve better.
You deserve a man who is proud to show you off to the world.
And you will get him if you don’t waste your time in relationships with people who are not ready to commit to a serious relationship.