Can you remember back in your teen years when kissing was the rave?
You couldn’t stop dreaming of kissing your crush.
Although it was likely that your imagination didn’t go beyond kissing in those days, kissing was surely a big deal then.
Most romance movies come to an end, with the couple sharing their first kiss.
Back in the day, you always looked forward to when you’ll finally begin to kiss your husband or wife with dreamy eyes.
And even if you fulfilled your wishes by kissing your husband breathlessly back then, you’ll notice that you’re not so keen on sharing kisses with your partner these days.
There’s nothing to worry about because there’s no problem.
Although some couples don’t like kissing as much as before, they still want to be affectionate and close to each other, touch each other’s hair, snuggle up, or rub each other’s necks or arms.
Don’t you like kissing your partner but prefer other forms of closeness?
Your choice is valid, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
However, some reasons may contribute to married people quitting kissing.
I mean, you can’t just wake up one morning and just decide to stop kissing.
So, why do married couples stop kissing?
Let’s look at some of the reasons why married couples decide to quit kissing.
Why Do Married Couples Stop Kissing? 8 Possible Reasons
1. Poor hygiene
One of the top reasons why married couples stop kissing is poor hygiene.
Poor hygiene in one partner will make the other partner see kissing as repellent.
For instance, make a mental picture of being with someone who practices poor hygiene and has very bad breath.
I’m sure you won’t go close to the person for any form of intimacy; talk more about kissing.
It could be that the person has terrible body odour or habitually doesn’t brush their teeth well, resulting in their teeth stinking.
Whichever one it is, the idea of kissing alone gives you palpitations.
And trying to talk about this situation with the affected person can be discouraging as no one wants to insult or make their spouse feel bad.
At the same time, you do not want to live with their poor hygiene.
So, what will you do about it?
I think you should start by gifting them appropriate body care products to help get rid of some of the odour.
Then, whenever you have free time (preferably at weekends), if you notice that your partner doesn’t brush their teeth well or have a proper bath, try an inclusive method with them.
It means that you should just get your toothbrush and theirs, tell them about a brushing hack that you want to try, and you’ll like to do it with them.
Then, show them how to brush their teeth properly and make sure they follow the steps.
Follow up with it every other day, and soon, you’ll start seeing improvements.
The same applies to body odour.
You can buy body washes that have a splash of lemon and other active ingredients that get rid of the odour.
Practice the inclusive method with your spouse, and hopefully, with constant action, poor hygiene will soon be a thing of the past.
2. Kissing preference
Another reason you may stop kissing in your marriage is because you don’t like how your partner kisses you.
Are you team tongue during kissing, or no tongue at all?
Are you team lots of saliva, or no saliva at all during kissing?
Do you like short kisses in quick succession or one long kiss for minutes?
If your spouse likes a lot of saliva and tongue during kissing, and you feel it’s gross, there’s no way you’ll like kissing them.
Or maybe you like shorter kisses, and your spouse likes the long ones where you have to come up for air; you won’t look forward to kissing them.
None of these kissing techniques is bad, by the way.
It’s just that you have different kissing preferences from your spouse and have not talked about it.
In this case, compromise is the best way around it.
3. The idea that kissing always leads to sex
This is another top killer of kissing in marriages.
I’m not trying to accuse any gender, but men are mostly guilty of this.
Men tend to believe that whenever you kiss, more sexual touches will follow, and then, sex will happen.
Most of them don’t believe that you can kiss your spouse and enjoy the moment just for it.
And that’s one of the reasons why kissing is slowly going extinct in some marriages.
Once your wife thinks she’s promising you sex when she starts kissing you, and she hasn’t decided to have sex, she’ll hold the kiss back because she doesn’t want to create any tension in your relationship because of unmet expectations.
Surely, the husband will get upset because he feels she led him on.
4. Facial hair
Unconventional but true!
Facial hair can make kissing uncomfortable.
For instance, kissing can feel prickly when beards are too short that they’re mostly stubble or when they’re not trimmed well enough.
No one wants to feel uncomfortable when they kiss.
Not all beards are uncomfortable and bad for kissing, though.
Please talk with your spouse about it and know what they prefer.
5. Boredom
Another suitable answer to the question, ‘Why do married couples stop kissing?’ is boredom.
They’re simply bored of kissing and can’t wait to get to the sex part.
At the beginning of the marriage, when you were still exploring each other’s bodies and getting to know each other intimately, you devoted time to kissing for as long as possible during make-out sessions.
You can remember how fun that was, yeah? – the exploration, closeness, and blended breaths.
But now, there’s nothing hidden from any of you as everyone’s cards are completely on the table.
This can also be called “see finish.”
You feel that you can rush kissing to get to the sex part.
After all, to you, sex is the real thing.
You wonder why you should waste time on kissing when you can just move to sex.
I want you to know that good kissing is a vital part of having a fulfilling sexual experience.
6. Your spouse doesn’t know how to kiss
You may dislike and stop kissing if your spouse doesn’t know how to kiss.
Like there are steps to everything, kissing has techniques you must apply to get it correctly.
Perhaps your spouse is ignorant of this, and to them, kissing is simply crushing your lips, using the teeth, and blocking off your airways while at it, making it difficult for you to breathe.
It may be that your spouse doesn’t even know they’re getting it wrong, or they just don’t care to learn the right way.
What you can do is talk about it with them and teach them.
Hopefully, they’ll get better.
7. Stress and family responsibilities
Marriage comes with new responsibilities.
Imagine working a nine-to-five and running a business on the side just to make ends meet.
This is the routine of some married folks, and they are so stressed they can’t even imagine kissing.
Also, sometimes couples are sucked up in the day-to-day workings of family life that they forget to kiss.
This is especially true of couples with kids.
Unlike newlyweds who have all the time to caress and love up on each other, when children enter the equation, it becomes different.
In fact, caring for kids can be so immersing that a couple can absolutely forget to court each other and keep the love aflame.
Even sexual intercourse can be reduced to quickies if care is not taken.
If this is you, evaluate where you are and start taking intentional steps to reignite the romance in your home.
All it takes is planning and intentionality.
8. Offence/Infidelity
Some couples stop kissing due to unsettled issues among them.
Offense can rile up bitterness in the heart of one party against the other.
In this case, kissing will be hardly appealing.
Also, when a party breaks the trust of the other and cheats, this can make the romance in the union fizzle out.
As the love and romance evaporate, so does kissing.
Conclusion
I hope this article addressed the question – Why do married couples stop kissing?
Kissing is an integral part of sex and intimacy that should be enjoyed, not endured.
If any of the points resonate with what’s happening in your marriage, you can apply the tips I attached to revive your kissing life (is there anything like that?)
Good luck!