There is no perfect marriage, right?
Even though I’ve been in this marriage business for over six years and have a happy marriage, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine.
There are times I can’t thank God enough for my husband, and there are times I’m like, ”Who did I marry?”
So, like every other married couple, my husband and I have our issues.
But what if you suspect signs your husband is disgusted by you?
That’s a serious one because disgust should never be what one feels toward one’s partner.
Let’s consider some signs your husband may be feeling disgusted by you:
10 Signs Your Husband is Disgusted By You
#1 He isn’t interested in touching you anymore
Perhaps this is the major sign of all that he’s disgusted by you.
If your husband used to love cuddling, holding hands, and getting it on with you anywhere and everywhere, but all of a sudden, he doesn’t want to do any of that anymore, it could be a sign he’s disgusted by you.
You may even be surprised at how distant he has become sexually when before, he acted like he couldn’t have enough of you.
Sex is more than a physical act; it involves emotional intimacy.
If he’s feeling disgusted by you, something has shifted in your emotional connection, leading to avoidance of physical intimacy, and it’s not good.
#2 He turns away from you when you attempt to initiate physical intimacy/affection
So, not only does he not touch you anymore, but when you attempt to touch him, he pulls away or turns his head.
This is an incredibly hurtful experience, and it’s a definite sign of an emotional disconnect between the two of you.
You may even notice that when you try to get close to him, he scrunches up his face like he smells something bad.
And you are left wondering if something is wrong with you, the way you look or smell.
#3 He constantly insults you
Another major sign of disgust is constant insulting or belittling comments.
Verbal abuse is never acceptable, and if your husband has started using derogatory language toward you, it may be because that’s how he feels about you or toward you.
The insults may be directed at your appearance, intelligence, or personal character traits.
These comments sting and can cause long-term damage to your self-esteem.
#4 He begins to criticize you openly and frequently
Yes, you are not perfect, but that’s not enough reason for the man who vowed to love and cherish you to criticize you always and anywhere.
It’s worse that he might even be doing this in the presence of your children and anyone else.
It shows he doesn’t respect you or your feelings, and he is looking for reasons to justify his feeling of disgust.
You are even starting to feel like you can’t do anything right, and it makes you walk on eggshells around him.
#5 He doesn’t spend time with you anymore
Spending quality time together as a couple is non-negotiable.
If the man you love is no longer interested in spending time with you and always finds an excuse, it means he’s not into you anymore.
He’d rather be out late with his friends, away on business trips, spend time on his phone, or stay longer at work to avoid spending time with you.
If he’s a good father, he may spend more time with the kids, but with you, zilch!
#6 Lack of patience and constant irritation
If you observe that your husband seems to have no patience around you or is constantly irritated with you, it could be a sign that he is disgusted.
He’s no longer interested in your opinions, complains about anything you do, and gets angry at the slightest things.
It might seem like he acts out because of stress or a bad day, but if it happens all the time, it’s a major red flag.
Maybe you are afraid of talking to him because you know he will lash out at you.
So, you have learned to swallow your words and repress your feelings.
#7 He doesn’t look at you in the same way he used to
This is another major sign that your husband has completely lost interest in you.
He seldom looks at you, his gaze is distant, and he seems to be either preoccupied or uninterested when looking at you.
No more stolen glances or butterflies in the stomach – just a blank disgusting stare whenever he looks at you.
Just as you can tell that someone has feelings for you from how they look at you, you can tell when someone has lost interest just by their gaze.
If he once looked at you with love and now looks at you with disgust, that’s probably how he feels.
#8 When you’re making love, he seems to be doing it out of a sense of obligation rather than desire.
Even when you two are intimate, it feels like he is just going through the motions and performing his husbandly duty.
Couples who don’t have a deep connection anymore often struggle to enjoy making love as they used to – there’s no passion or chemistry in the moments, just a sense of obligation.
You might feel like you’re having to force the passion and communication when things used to come so naturally.
It seems now that he’d rather be elsewhere than making love to you.
#9 He doesn’t even want to go out in public with you anymore
Before, you two were always seen together, laughing and having a good time.
But now, when you want to go out and do something fun, he makes up excuses to stay at home or goes off on his own.
It’s like he doesn’t want to be seen with you anymore.
The fact that he won’t go out in public with you is a sign that he can’t stand being seen with you.
If he can’t stand you in private, he certainly won’t do it in public either.
#10 He gets angry when you talk about your feelings
When you try to discuss your feelings with him, he gets angry and shuts down.
He doesn’t want to hear about the pain you are feeling or the confusion that you have about his sudden lack of interest in you.
It’s like he can’t handle anything related to emotions anymore and will do anything to avoid them.
What To Do When You Notice Signs Your Husband is Disgusted By You
1. Self-reflection
I know it’s not fair that your husband is disgusted by you, but could there be something in your behavior or habits that may have led to these negative emotions?
It’s important to take a step back and reflect on what you may have done wrong so that you can make amends.
2. Talk it out
No matter how much he tries to shut down the conversation, you have to talk to him about his feelings.
This will let him know that you care enough about the relationship to want to fix it.
Ask him questions about what has made him feel this way and listen without judgment.
3. Seek professional help
If you can’t get through to him still, it might be time to seek professional help.
A counselor or therapist can help you both identify the root of your husband’s disgust and provide guidance on how to move forward with constructive communication.
It’s important that both partners are willing to work together in order to make progress.
#4 Don’t let it affect your self-esteem
It’s hard not to take it to take your husband’s attitude and behavior personally, but try not to let it affect your self-esteem.
Remind yourself that this is about the relationship and not about you.
#5 Focus on self-care and stay positive
No matter how difficult the situation gets, focus on caring for yourself.
Find healthy ways to manage stress and emotions, such as exercising, talking to a friend or counselor, meditating, or journaling.
Staying positive can be hard, but this, too, shall pass.
#6 Pray
Prayer is a great source of strength during tough times.
Prayer helps us to keep our faith alive and serves as a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles.
Let God guide you and help you find the best ways to communicate with your husband and heal your marriage.
That is an exact portrait of my wife! I have tried everything the books suggest, and gone to counseling—which she hates! She started on the wedding night, and it is now 55 years plus. I am at the end of my rope.
It sounds like you still love her. Unless she is abusive to you, tie a know and hold on. If you know God and living for Him, we are praying that God will intercede on your behalf. I don’t know your whole story but God does. He knows her heart. Praying that you will have the stamina mentally, physically and spiritually to be the man God has called you to be and she be the woman God has called her to be. Best to you
I’m sorry to hear about your wife and your problems see. I’m going through the same shit with mine… What to do … I don’t have any idea 💡
You should tell that man that 55 years is long enough! He should live out the rest of his life in peace and happiness and not be disrespected by a woman who clearly doesn’t love him. No one should be subjected to that treatment for one minute, much less 55 years. “Tie a knot and hold on”???? Bad advice. Cut the ties and let go! Find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated!
@Amelia, I agree. He should have left her years ago. I have never been married, but all of my relationships with men were nasty. I quit dating at this point because of too much trauma from men. I am happier without them.
@Amelia,
Amen 🎯
This is me after 30 plus years of emotional, financial and probable physical infidelity. She is incapable of acknowledging or taking responsibility for her actions. Wasted thousands of dollars, and lots of time on counseling. I now invest nothing in the relationship. I simply don’t care anymore. One good thing is that my state just abolished permanent alimony. What a blessing! I’m just finalizing the remaining items on my exit strategy.
So so sorry for your experience. I pray you experience healing and find true love.
I am dealing with the same thing with my husband. He has no sexual interest. Never touches me. The sad thing is we sleep in the same bed every night and nothing.
Oh. That’s sad.
Have you tried talking to him?
Perhaps communication and counselling would help?
@Ibed, When they quit it’s time to leave them. They are either cheating or playing games. I know these types. I know it’s hard to leave when you love someone, but if you have tried talking to them and it didn’t work, it’s time to move on and be happy.
@Ibed,
I’m in the same situation with my husband we got together when we were teenager and have been together for 26 years. We got married after 10 years. All he seems to care about is sex. If he doesn’t get it he is pissed off. Now mind you for 20+years I have always been the financial provider, the homemaker and taking care of the kids while he stays home and does nothing. I told him enough was enough and that he needed to get a job and do something with himself. So he goes out and gets a job, working overnights, putting us on opposite schedules and then still continues to do nothing to support the household or help with the children. And now, because I won’t give him sex every day he won’t even touch me anymore. Even when he hugs me, it’s cold and feels forced. I always thought that it was true love between us but as I’ve gotten older and got a better understanding of what true love really is, it’s kind of an eye-opener to realize that it’s not really true love because he was he would not be acting that way. Or he wouldn’t get mad every time I try to have a conversation with him about how I’m feeling or the support I need from him. I’ve even asked him to go to counseling, since our communication has struggle. Particularly with understanding each other. He’s not taking any initiation to try and fix our problems or work on our problems. I told him that we needed to go to counseling because nothing else is working and he told me he didn’t want to go to counseling and we can do it on our own but we’ve been trying for two years and it’s not working and so he says if I don’t go, are you gonna leave me. Idk what else to do. I love him and I want to be with him but I’m at my wits end and I don’t know what else to do but I know I need to be healthy and happy, for myself and my kids. Any suggestions or recommendations would be much appreciated.
@Emotionally drained,
@Emotionally drained, YOU have allowed this nonsense to go on for 20 years and NOW you want to do something about it?!
We teach people how to treat us and you have taught him to disrespect you, use you, be emotionally and mentally abusive so he has done this and you’ve tolerated it until now. Forget about trying to change who he is or what he’s doing and focus on who you are, what you’re doing, and what you want your life to be….the train is leaving the station and you are the conductor, whoever gets on the train or not is irrelevant. Change brings change so YOU change into a better person and watch the fruits of your labor. Put a time frame on it and say to yourself…”if in ninety there isn’t 100% improvement on his part, he’s out of here” and have the guts to move on. Nothing, I despise more than a weak woman who complains about her problems but hasn’t the guts to move on and get away from her problem.
I am completely perplexed by anyone tolerating this kind of behavior in a marriage, be it on the male or female’s end. Have a little confidence in yourself and self love that you would settle for this mediocre crap and call it a marriage!
It made me sad that the first suggestion was self-reflection to see what I had done and how I needed to make amends.
While self-reflection is always a good idea, when it’s impossible to be perfect enough for your spouse, you have NOTHING to make amends for. Sometimes, they just become bad spouses.
Helpful to me
It’s understandable but what if you a man feeling the same thing done by your wife? Shutting herself down from you,just because you wanted show her the danger of what she doing in good faith,
I think mine is the worst, we hv spent seven years but sincerely speaking he has been disrespectful undermiding calling me all the wired names like yo just a dog,a demon.
If anything does work out for him their am the trouble cause and we have two kids now but am like giving up coz my mind is not the same I used to be am not stable financial and what hearts me more he always tells me how I can’t do anything on my on coz am not educated.any advise is welcomed plz thakx