The first time I heard someone lie about their whereabouts, I was shocked.
It was an early Monday morning, and this man was brushing his teeth when he received a call from the person he was supposed to meet.
The next thing I heard from him was, “I am almost there. I am already within sight of the entrance”.
I was shocked, but even as little as I was, I understood why he felt the need to lie.
It was the same reason I lied about forgetting my book at home when it was actually in my bag.
An incomplete note would have gotten me punished for being unserious.
Admitting that he was still at home when he should have been in a meeting could have cost the man a business deal…or not.
This doesn’t in any way justify dishonesty.
Honesty is still the best policy.
But tell me, why do husbands lie to their wives about their whereabouts?
Marriage is meant to be the most intimate relationship ever, and it can’t be successful without full transparency.
This is what inspires trust.
Trust is what keeps partners in sync.
However, this is not the case in many marriages.
There are moments when one partner might find themselves questioning the honesty of the other.
Many couples, regardless of gender, lie to each other about many things.
However, we will be focused on the issue of husbands lying to their wives about their whereabouts.
While all marriages are unique, this behavior can be caused by several reasons, which we will be exploring together.
Let’s get started!
7 Reasons Husbands Lie About Their Whereabouts
1. They are afraid of conflict
As a child, there were certain places I couldn’t go to.
I knew I would be disciplined if caught going to such places.
But did I avoid going to those forbidden places?
Of course not!
I only made sure I was never caught.
Right then, I wished for adulthood because I felt like I would be able to do anything I liked.
The truth about adulthood is that even with freedom, responsibility keeps you calm, for the most part.
So, I don’t go to those places or do that forbidden stuff, and it’s not because I am scared of being punished.
Now, I know better.
Many husbands lie about their whereabouts because they know that telling the truth could come with dire consequences.
Men are adults, but they can’t always be free to do whatever they want to do when they are married.
There are many places that guys go to as bachelors that should be avoided when they are married.
A married man shouldn’t always be found in clubs, bars, or other places, even if his wife doesn’t have an issue with it, because he should be prioritizing spending time with his family over such activities.
Many husbands lie about their whereabouts to avoid potential arguments.
If they believe their true location might upset their wife, they might fabricate a more acceptable story.
2. They are ashamed
Sometimes, husbands lie about their whereabouts because they are ashamed of what they are doing there.
They know their wives would disapprove of the activities they are engaged in.
So, they lie about their whereabouts.
They say they are at work or meeting a client when they are busy frolicking and involving themselves in activities they shouldn’t be involved in.
Now, this brings up the question…
If they are ashamed of what they are doing, why are they doing it?
The truth is that most humans have a unique way of silencing the voice of their conscience.
What I do in those kinds of situations is throw myself into activities.
When I am involved in activities, I have little time to think about things.
It is the same for most people.
If your husband lies to you about his whereabouts, he may be trying to hide the fact that he is doing something you disapprove of.
It could be something minor, like hanging out with friends instead of running errands, or something major, like infidelity.
Either way, many husbands in this scenario will lie about their whereabouts out of guilt and shame.
3. They desire personal space
One time, I met a really clingy girlfriend.
She was dating a friend of mine, and they were cohabitating already.
My friend said she was so clingy that she didn’t like him going anywhere without her.
The only place he was free to go was work.
After work, she wanted him home.
Sometimes, she would even come and wait for him to leave work so they could go home together.
It was that wild.
Man needed some space.
So, sometimes, he would lie about being sent on an assignment in another state just to get away.
He would usually spend that time in my apartment.
Well, I remember telling him that no one deserves to live the way he does.
He was in a toxic relationship and needed to get out of it as soon as possible.
He heeded my advice, and now, he is doing a lot better.
The truth is that some wives complain about their husbands lying to them about their whereabouts without realizing that they are the cause.
Even in marriage, you and your husband deserve some personal time.
You deserve to meet with friends and have fun from time to time.
Of course, it won’t be all the time.
You deserve to have space to work on your individual goals without being distracted.
Lying is terrible.
It is not the solution to the issue.
In fact, when you are caught lying, it only makes a clingy partner clingier.
4. They are protecting their wives
Sometimes, men treat women as if they are so fragile.
They underestimate the strength of a woman, and because of this, they feel the need to protect them from everything.
Sometimes, in a bid to protect their wives, some men usually lie about their whereabouts.
This is because they know their wives may be worried if they know the truth.
I am not married, but this is one thing I have done in the past.
One time, my parents called me really late at night.
I wasn’t home yet.
So, when I saw the call, I had to go to a quiet place to pick up the call.
While I didn’t exactly lie to them, I didn’t tell the truth.
They assumed I was in my hostel, and I didn’t bother to correct their assumption.
I did it because I knew they would worry that I was still out so close to midnight.
In the same way, some husbands lie to protect their wives from worry or hurt.
For instance, if they are dealing with a stressful situation or a personal issue, they might choose to lie about their whereabouts to shield their wives from unnecessary concern.
It’s not the right thing to do, though.
A man may try to lighten the situation a little bit, but he should never lie to protect his wife.
It usually does more harm than good in the long run.
5. He is afraid of being judged
Sometimes, husbands might lie about their whereabouts if they fear being judged or criticized by their wives.
I remember how a man’s wife attacked him because he came home late after branching at a viewing center to watch a UEFA Champions League game.
She was so angry that she asked him, “How many of your mates did you meet there? Responsible men are with their families; you are busy watching football with teenagers.”
The drama was quite loud.
But the truth is that the man probably blamed himself for telling her the truth about his whereabouts.
He could have told her he was still at work, and she would not have criticized him as she did.
When the criticism is negative, it has adverse effects on the relationship.
It leaves a mark on the man who would always want to avoid such a fiasco in the future.
However, it doesn’t discourage him from doing what he did.
It only makes him realize the need to tell lies about his whereabouts.
When there is a history of harsh judgment or criticism in the relationship, it is not so unusual for the husband to lie about his whereabouts.
Being much more tolerant is a great way to promote transparency in relationships.
Even when you disapprove of your partner’s actions, it is important not to compare them to other people unfairly.
Constructive criticism still works.
If you want to see improvements in your partner, criticize constructively.
6. He wants to avoid responsibility
One time, a friend called to know if I was at home.
She wanted me to help her do something.
Well, that day, I was stressed out and in no mood to do anything, but I knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
So, I told her I was at home but would be going out soon.
I didn’t leave the house, but I escaped the responsibility that was coming to me.
I felt bad about it and assisted her the next day.
Many husbands lie about their whereabouts because they want to avoid responsibility.
So, a man is supposed to be helping out with house chores during the weekend, but he cooks up an excuse to go out for hours.
That’s an example of a man lying about his whereabouts to avoid responsibility.
It is a terrible thing to do.
If you can’t do something, say “No” instead of lying to your partner.
They may be disappointed, but this is better than the lack of trust that can result from discovering that you’ve been lying to them.
7. He is a habitual liar
I spoke about my neighbor earlier.
That man is an example of someone who lies habitually.
In fact, it got so bad that the consensus is that if he tells you good morning, you need to check to be sure it is truly morning.
If he tells me that a black flask is black, I will double-check to be truly sure.
This is because it is rare for him ever to speak the truth.
For some husbands, lying becomes a habitual response.
This might stem from past experiences where lying was a necessary survival tactic.
Whatever the cause may be, this behavior can become ingrained, leading to lies even in situations where honesty would be more beneficial.
So, when my neighbor lies about certain things, it is just shocking for me because lying in that scenario wasn’t even beneficial to him.
A husband who lies habitually will lie about his whereabouts, among many other things.
If your husband has lied to you several times about his whereabouts in the past, you may be in a dilemma about what to do.
Well, the first thing to do is to be brutally honest with yourself.
Ask yourself if your actions have made it easy for him to be truthful.
Do you overreact or make him feel really bad all the time?
If this is the truth, then you need to make the necessary adjustments.
No one is saying you shouldn’t criticize your husband, but it should be done constructively.
Also, when you catch your husband lying, approach the situation calmly.
Express your opinion and try to know why he is lying.
If he is lying to cover infidelity, that’s a different case entirely.
However, if it’s to prevent criticism or judgment, you may need to be more tolerant and approachable.
It is also important that some husbands learn to tell the truth.
Dishonesty is bad, especially in marriage.
It could lead to a string of terrible occurrences in the marriage.
So, avoid lies!