For most adults, the weekend is a time for rest.
When I say relaxation, it’s not just about sitting on the sofa, watching Netflix series and binge-eating cakes and ice cream.
It’s also about spending time with our loved ones and significant others, away from work and daily activities.
I remember I smiled to myself at work throughout the week because a guy I started dating promised we would spend the weekend together.
The thought of spending time with my boyfriend got me so excited that I couldn’t wait for Friday.
Imagine how I’d have felt if my boyfriend didn’t show up that Friday.
Imagine how I’d have felt if my boyfriend showed up during the week, apologising as if his life depended on me, only to disappear the next weekend again.
If you think, “That’s awful”, you are right.
It’s more than awful, but do you know what else is right?
This is the reality of most ladies in relationships.
If you are with a guy who is present throughout the week and when the weekend comes, he disappears, this could mean one of the following things:
He Disappears On Weekends. What Does It Mean?
1. You are not his priority.
A friend once said to me,
“Yes, I understand that when a woman is in love, she goes to any length to satisfy her man and be there for him, but have you seen a man in love? Have you ever felt that commitment from the man who claims to love you deeply?”
Frankly, when she asked this question, I paused to think.
Because when a man is fully committed to you and the relationship you share with him, it hits differently.
At the same time, when you aren’t his priority, the truth is, you’ll know.
Not being his priority now doesn’t always mean there’s another woman.
He may have placed his job, his family, his close friends or even his boss’ family and their needs over and above you on his priority list, which may be why he disappears every weekend.
He needs to attend to the things or the people he placed over him.
2. He works on weekends.
What’s his work schedule like?
What is his profession?
Does he belong to the category of people who can be called at any time, especially on weekends, to attend to work or office matters?
Does he have a demanding boss who always requires his attention, even on weekends?
If one or more of these is true, it could be the reason for his disappearance.
I don’t feel this is a valid reason, though, because I believe in that little device called a mobile phone and the use it can be put to.
Particularly when he is called to attend to work matters or when he has to meet the needs of his demanding boss.
However, it might be his reason for not contacting you on weekends.
3. He is playing games with you.
In other words, he is a player.
He is interested in other women, and he disappears during the weekend because he has to divide his time and attention between you and the other women he’s interested in.
Sad but true.
He isn’t committed to you and him; you are just one of the many women he has a fling with.
4. He needs his time and space.
Again, I don’t believe in this reason because I think that a man who wishes to have the time and space to do the things he loves to do should be able to reach out to his significant other at least once a day.
However, considering that individuals operate differently and uniquely, it could still be why he disappears on weekends.
He may need to hang out and spend time with his male friends or do other stuff that men do, and he doesn’t want you around him or doesn’t think you’ll appreciate their hobby.
5. He’s still getting used to being in a relationship with you.
Let’s face it.
Nobody plans to get involved in a relationship with someone, and an intimate and romantic relationship affects every other part of your life, positively or negatively.
Again, your boyfriend had a life before he met you, and perhaps, spending the weekend with friends or someone he feels deeply for isn’t something he’s used to.
He may have filled his weekends with other activities he enjoys, and boom! You, too, met and started a relationship.
If this is so, you’ll agree with me that it’s going to take a while to clear off his schedule and focus on spending the weekend with you.
6. He is married, or he is in another committed relationship, and you are just a distraction
When topics like this are being discussed, this is always the first reason that comes to mind.
However, I decided to explore other reasons and save this obvious reason for the last.
Yes. Your boyfriend may disappear on weekends because he has a wife and kids at home and needs to spend time with them.
Also, he may not have a wife and kids yet, but he may be in a long-term committed relationship, and you are a distraction.
This is true for some men whose family or partners live in one city while they live and work in another.
He Disappears On Weekends. What Do I Do?
Having explored six reasons behind your boyfriend’s disappearance on weekends, here are things you can do to help yourself.
1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings.
When you notice your boyfriend’s frequent disappearance on weekends, it’s easy to tell yourself that you are overreacting or just seeing things or overthinking things.
You aren’t seeing things, and you aren’t overthinking things.
Your boyfriend’s disappearance on weekends hurts you, and it is what it is.
Acknowledge and accept how you feel, and don’t punish yourself further by beating up yourself for overthinking things.
Don’t let your boyfriend or anyone tell you or make you believe the same thing.
See, acknowledge and accept how you feel so you can find the best way to handle the issue.
When you’re in denial or when you convince yourself that you’re overthinking or overreacting, you are just postponing the evil day and hurting yourself the most.
2. Find a convenient time and initiate a conversation.
Don’t be scared to talk with him; don’t be shy to admit you are worried.
In fact, you should be worried about your boyfriend’s continued disappearance except you are playing games too or the relationship isn’t a priority to you.
Most importantly, while you talk about it and try to see his reasons, don’t be aggressive.
If you have to adjourn and have the conversation on another day, please do.
Whatever you do, don’t be aggressive because when you proceed with accusations and aggression, you plunge him into a place where he begins to get defensive.
When he gets defensive, you won’t achieve much and end up saying things you don’t mean.
Remember the reason you decided to have the conversation and focus.
3. Listen attentively.
Listening attentively isn’t just about listening to his words.
It also involves paying rapt attention and observing him closely.
I’m someone who believes in listening to the things that were said and some things that weren’t said.
It’s your job to pay attention so that you can hear some of the things he said and, most importantly, other things which weren’t said.
Remember to ask questions or clarifications where necessary.
You aren’t having the conversation just to move forward in your relationship.
You are also doing this for yourself because it’ll make your decision-making process easier.
4. Plan your weekend or get ready to leave.
This depends on the outcome of the conversation you had with your man.
As I said, that conversation is also helpful to you because it can fast-track your decision-making process.
If you feel there isn’t any cause for alarm, you can try to plan your weekend and incorporate activities you enjoy.
This will help you feel less lonely and give you the space and time to spend with yourself or other loved ones.
However, once you feel a serious cause for alarm, get ready to leave.
Don’t be in denial.
Face what needs to be faced and take the decision you must make for your ultimate good.
Alternatively, you may consult a relationship coach or therapist to help you navigate the issues in your relationship.