I always have one simple piece of advice for married couples: “Don’t stop doing that thing that made your partner fall in love with you, even in marriage.”
Sometimes, a man puts so much time, energy, and resources into wooing and getting a woman to fall in love with him, and they’re so in love with each other that they agree to tie the knot.
All goes well till he stops doing some things that made his woman fall in love with him.
These include paying her compliments, appreciating her efforts, paying attention to details, and always being ready to help her out.
While he may see nothing wrong with his recent behavior, she notices that something is missing from the relationship.
As is expected, she’ll ask questions and try to make her findings to know why things changed between them.
This article will discuss the reasons men stop complimenting their wives.
Notwithstanding your gender, you’ll find this piece helpful to your relationship.
It’ll address some concerns you have about why you act the way you do and why your partner acts certain ways towards you in your relationship or marriage.
It promises to be a good read.
7 Reasons Men Stop Complimenting Their Wives
1. They see no need for it anymore
One of the reasons men stop complimenting their wives is that some men see no need for it anymore.
All through the dating stage and at the beginning of the marriage, such a man was committed to always paying his wife sweet compliments.
If she goes down memory lane, she might remember when she used to blush so hard at his compliments that she feared that she’d literally turn pink.
Now, all those are memories because he has stopped complimenting her.
It might have started with him toning it down before he stopped totally.
It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love her anymore.
He just doesn’t see the need to continue doing it after all these years, perhaps in the presence of their children.
I can say that their relationship is past the honeymoon and excitement stage where to him, she was the next best thing after jollof rice.
Lol.
She’s still very much special to him, but he doesn’t see himself doing all that he did for love when he was much younger.
In Nigeria, we have a word for his attitude — ‘See finish.’
2. Having different love languages
Another reason why men stop complimenting their wives is having different love languages.
The man’s love language is different from that of his wife.
For instance, he might love receiving gifts while she clearly loves words of affirmation — to be complimented and reassured.
Truth be told, we tend to tilt towards serving others our preferred love language than theirs.
Your love language is something you want to receive, so you’ll feel comfortable sharing it.
However, it takes conscious effort to remain committed to using a love language that is not yours to serve others who need it from you.
In this case, a man who has stopped complimenting his wife might have lost the zeal to continue doing so, as words of affirmation aren’t his love language.
He’s still doing other things that show that he loves, values, and appreciates her.
For instance, he gives her thoughtful gifts, rubs her hands whenever she’s anxious, helps her out with the chores, and does so many other beautiful things for her.
The only problem is that he’s just not speaking her language of love.
3. Lack of love
If a man stops complimenting his wife, it may be as a result of the absence of love on his part.
One of the possible scenarios at play is that he was never in love with her.
He wasn’t into her but had to get married to her for reasons best known to him.
Remember that different people get married for different reasons.
This man complimented her at the initial stage as part of his ploy to woo her and get her to fall in love with him, and it worked.
Now that they’re married, he now shows her his true self – that he never loved the woman.
Another possibility is that he fell out of love with his wife.
He was complimenting her when he was still head over heels in love with her.
But all of that changed when he stopped loving her.
The compliments disappeared along with the love.
4. They feel insecure
Sometimes, not paying compliments or cutting off compliments is a strategy employed by people who are insecure.
Stay with me.
An insecure man might feel that by complimenting his wife, he’s helping her to build her self-esteem, and when her self-esteem is high enough, she might start seeing herself as too beautiful, intelligent, and good to be married to a man like him.
Crass, I know!
Such a man will stop complimenting her because he wants her to remain in her present mental space where she appreciates him and sees no need to leave him.
He stops complimenting her because he doesn’t want to lose her.
While his reason seems almost pitiable, it has sprinkles of toxicity all over it.
Whew!
5. Jealousy
Jealousy is one of the reasons why men stop complimenting their wives.
A jealous man doesn’t need so much to activate the green-eyed monster in him.
All he needs to do is feel that his wife is better than him without even doing too much.
He might be jealous of her success, abilities, the consequent attention she’s getting as a result of the two, and so many other wonderful things about her.
People who are wired that way are called green-eyed toxic people.
You’ll never catch them complimenting anyone other than themselves.
Even when they hear someone else being complimented around them, they try all they can to downplay the compliments by saying negative things about the person.
This type of man who stops complimenting his wife does so simply because he’s jealous of her.
6. They want their wives to feel less of themselves
If a man stops complimenting his wife, it might be that he wants her to feel less of herself.
Yes.
It’s a thing, and it’s the reality of some people.
There are people (in this context, men) who love seeing their wives at their lowest points, and they get a greater joy by knowing that they are the ones who put her in such a position.
Such a man derives joy in making his wife feel down and miserable.
To achieve this, he constantly tells her how much of a failure she is, how she will never amount to anything good, how no one else will ever want her, how he is managing her, and so many other horrible things.
He’s actively dedicated to sowing negative words into her life to keep her down and ensure she doesn’t feel good about herself.
What a horrible way to live!
7. There’s another woman
One of the reasons why men stop complimenting their wives is that there’s another woman in the picture.
In this case, the man has someone else in his life.
He is cheating on his wife.
There’s one truth that’s undeniable — If he’s not giving it to you, he’s definitely giving it to someone else.
His attention and affection have shifted from his wife to this other woman.
What’s playing out here is that the other woman is now getting all the compliments that the wife used to get from him.