What are the reasons your husband is angry all the time?
There may be so many reasons behind your husband’s regular anger.
In this article, we’ll look at these reasons and how to deal with them, if only you’re willing to.
You need to know that although some reasons can genuinely cause his anger, these reasons are not justified.
He needs to take responsibility for his actions.
That there’s a reason behind it doesn’t mean you should tolerate it from him.
Most causes of his anger will originate from him and won’t have anything to do with you.
So, stop blaming yourself for his actions because they’re likely not your fault.
Let’s see why he is constantly angry and what to do about them.
5 Reasons Your Husband Is Angry All The Time
1. He has unsettled issues
There’s a reason why most therapists ask about your childhood during therapy.
Many of our behaviors as adults originate from the things we passed through in our childhood.
Anyone with an inbuilt anger might have gotten it from a wide range of issues during childhood.
Perhaps your husband was maltreated as a child.
Maybe he came from a busy home where he always had to fight before he could be heard.
He’s now used to using anger and shouting to drive his point home.
Also, as a child, the only way to draw attention to himself was by acting out, and he has continued the trend to date.
Sometimes, badly behaved children are given all the attention to prevent them from getting into trouble, while the well-behaved ones are left to take care of themselves.
If your husband went through all these as a child, he may be scarred, which explains his frequent anger.
2. He’s having a bad time
One of the reasons your husband is always angry may be that he’s having a bad time.
Perhaps his anger was triggered by specific situations.
People have bad days sometimes, and this applies to everyone.
Sometimes, these bad days can stretch into weeks or even months.
These situations are usually beyond our control but can affect us nevertheless and cause us to be upset.
He may have had a bad time at his workplace or had a fallout with a close family member or friend, and it’s still bothering him.
Thus, his angry demeanour.
3. He is battling low self-esteem
Your husband is just a regular person with emotions, too.
We’re mostly made to believe that women are more emotional and that men know how to deal with their emotions better.
This makes it difficult to remember that men battle with worrying about their appearance, self-confidence, and friendships, just like women.
Because society has taught him always to show strength and never a weakness, he questions some of his genuine feelings and feels less of a man.
It may upset him constantly because of all the energy he has bottled inside.
We forget that they deal with the same issues as us, and bottling them up can lead to outbursts of anger.
4. He has a stress or anxiety disorder
Like point 3 above, some people believe that men rarely have mental health issues, but they do.
Also, we mostly see things like mindfulness and meditation as feminine, and so many men dismiss them with a wave.
Your husband’s constant anger can come from anxiety and stress.
Most times, he might appear unbothered and unaffected by stress.
He can even take pride in putting things into compartments and unwind without breaking a sweat.
But it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have his struggles.
5. He has control issues
Many people battle with control issues, and it causes a buildup of anger.
Perhaps he likes being in charge and wants things to be done a certain way – his way.
It can make you feel bad, but remember, it’s not a reflection of yourself or your marriage.
It’s about him having issues that should be handled immediately.
Anger mostly shows itself whenever we are irritated, upset, unable to control negative emotions, and unable to be in charge.
Being unable to take charge makes him out of control and angry.
What To Do If Your Husband Is Angry All The Time
1. Cultivate effective communication with him
Effective communication is essential, although it might look impossible when your husband is not in a good mood.
It starts with approaching him at the right time.
You’ll need to choose your words carefully when going about it.
You don’t want to offend him and make him defensive.
It’ll help if you’re supportive of him in this period.
It will help him realize that he has issues and work on them and bring you closer as a couple.
He’ll also see you as his safe haven and someone he doesn’t need to be angry and shout at.
2. Be understanding and patient with him
You need to understand the bigger picture.
Your husband is not angry with you.
He’s only angry with circumstances beyond his control that negatively affect his life.
Once again, I’m not saying that you should take responsibility for his actions, but it’ll be best to consider the situations in his life.
You’ll most likely reply defensively if you feel that you’re the cause of his anger or that his anger is directed at you.
Although it’s normal, it’ll only add salt to injury and cause more disagreements.
What you need to do is to calm down and realize that it isn’t about you.
When you do, you won’t be so defensive, and then, he’ll have nothing to hold on to in a bid to fight back.
And that is the quickest way to diffuse arguments.
3. Be compassionate and supportive of him
Your husband might always be angry because he’s dealing with low self-esteem.
He may be feeling like he lacks enough self-worth.
It can make anyone angry and upset.
He’s dealing with his issues alone because he might not feel comfortable sharing them with his friends, and these feelings can manifest as anger.
It would be best if you were compassionate towards him.
Reassure him of your love for him and that he’s still very attractive to you.
Words of affirmation will boost his confidence with time and dissipate the anger he feels.
4. Be vulnerable with him
Your husband might be feeling very anxious, hence his anger.
Most times, emotions do not materialize for what they truly are.
Depression doesn’t automatically translate to crying a lot.
Sometimes, the victims scream more.
Fear doesn’t translate to someone cowering.
Sometimes, it means that you want to be in control of everything and get irritated when you’re not.
Having an open conversation with him will let you into what he’s going through.
Let your guard down and talk about your challenges.
Sometimes, taking the lead and being vulnerable with him first will do the magic.
If he sees that you didn’t hesitate for a second before being vulnerable with him, he’ll consider you a confidant and unburden himself to you.
Keep doing it regularly, and you’ll feel his anger disappear.
5. Encourage him to seek therapy
You must understand that no one ever feels good for being out of control.
When you do, you’ll be more willing to hold his hands as he works through his control issues.
Suggest ways that can help him – therapy is one of them.
He can engage the services of a professional therapist to help him walk through the issues.
Therapy will help him zero down to the root cause of the issues.
It may take some time, but he just might return a better person.
6. Run if he refuses help
If you have tried all you can to help him, but he refuses help, you need to consider exiting the relationship.
Especially in the case of extreme anger or anger that leads to domestic violence.
Please leave to live.
You are not responsible for his anger, and the will to change lies with him.
Many women have sadly lost their lives because they hoped against hope that their angry husbands would change and endured the abuse that came with their anger issues.
I hope you make the right decision.
Conclusion
Is your husband’s behavior making you feel unsafe or affecting you adversely?
You’ll need to get help ASAP.
No matter the reasons for his actions, you have no business staying with someone who makes you feel unsafe.
If you’re willing to help your husband resolve his anger issues, there are feasible ways that can work.
Do not forget that he’s an adult who should take full responsibility for his actions.
And if you’re going to be helping him with his anger issues, he needs to bring his maximum cooperation to the table.