Are you inexplicably attracted to older men or recently realized you’re falling for one?
No, I’m not judging you.
There’s no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed.
It may be a bit of a taboo subject in today’s society, but it is certainly not something to be ashamed of.
Everyone has the right to love and be loved by anyone, regardless of age.
However, buckle up because dating an older man is a unique experience, quite distinct from dating someone your age or younger.
Because while dating an older gentleman has its perks, there are vital red flags to watch out for to ensure you don’t find yourself tangled in a toxic web of unhealthy emotions.
So, let’s dive into the red flags when dating an older man that you cannot afford to ignore:
12 Red Flags When Dating An Older Man
1. He’s not emotionally available
Sometimes, when a man’s heart has been bruised, it takes time for him to be ready for another tango.
For him to be much older than you and still single, there must be a reason.
And no matter the reason, he might have some emotional baggage from the past.
If he’s not intentional about maintaining emotional balance, he will not be ready to open his heart to you.
You could be in for a roller coaster of emotions that won’t take you anywhere good.
Don’t ignore this red flag.
Instead, pay attention to see if he’s bitter towards his ex or exhibits mistrust in women.
Poor thing might have been deceived or betrayed, leaving him guarded and resentful.
So, keep an eye out for signs that he’s rolling up his sleeves and doing the emotional work needed to mend.
Communication with him too.
He may just need time to patch up that wounded heart.
2. He can’t relate to your generation
Sometimes, conversations with him can become dull and mundane because of the age gap.
Being with someone much older might mean you having experiences he’s never had, and he might not be able to keep up.
This can lead to both of you feeling frustrated and left out.
See if you can bridge the generational gaps by introducing topics you are both familiar with.
Research topics that interest both of you so that conversations between the two of you can be more meaningful.
Learn to appreciate how he sees things and look for similarities between what you believe in and his perspectives.
This will help keep your conversations lively and make it easier to connect with each other on an intimate level.
Age should not restrict a relationship from growing, so keep an open mind and focus on the moments that you share together.
3. He has zero self-confidence
You’d think an older man is supposed to be confident and secure in himself, but surprisingly, this isn’t always the case.
Many older men lack self-confidence due to the life experiences that they have gone through.
So, watch out for this warning signal because an older man with low self-confidence will frustrate you.
He may not trust you or talk down on himself constantly.
You may have to constantly reassure him that he’s good enough for you.
4. He has an unhealthy lifestyle
Your older man’s lifestyle is something else you should take into consideration.
I know we should all focus on being healthy and active, but this is especially important for us as we age.
If your older man has an unhealthy lifestyle, such as not exercising regularly, eating too much junk food, drinking alcohol, and smoking, he might be sending himself to an early grave.
Because leading an unhealthy lifestyle can lead to a multitude of health problems.
And it will surely get in the way of your relationship if he starts feeling unwell often or has less energy for activities.
He just will not be able to keep up with you.
This doesn’t mean you should judge or criticize him; instead, try to encourage him to make healthier choices so he can be around for longer.
5. He’s yet to get over his ex
It’s not uncommon for older men to find it harder to move on from past relationships.
This could be because they get more attached or feel lonely in their later stages of life.
So if your man still isn’t over his ex, it can put a serious strain on the relationship.
He may compare you to her, or talk about her all the time, which would make you feel neglected and unimportant.
If he’s not ready to move on, it would be best to give him space and time to process his feelings.
If, however, he’s still not ready after some time, maybe he’s not ready for a serious relationship.
6. He’s financially irresponsible
Money is a big problem for many couples, and it can often be the source of major issues in a relationship and marriage.
If your man is always spending beyond his means or doesn’t think ahead when it comes to money-related matters, this could spell doom for you and your relationship.
One of the perks of dating an older man should be that he’s financially secure.
In fact, this is one of the major reasons younger women date older men.
So if your older man is not living up to his end of the bargain and you feel like you’re taking care of him more than he’s taking care of himself, you may need to reconsider.
7. He refuses to commit
Again, one of the reasons women consider dating older guys is because they usually come with the benefit of being more mature and ready to settle down.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship and your older man can’t seem to make any commitment, no matter how hard he tries, it’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
8. He takes you for granted
If your older man always expects you to do all the work in the relationship and doesn’t give back equally, you may be in for a hard time.
No matter how much of an age gap between you two, relationships should always involve a balance of giving and taking from both partners.
If your older man takes you for granted, you will suffer.
9. He doesn’t respect you
Respect should be a basic part of any relationship, regardless of the age gap between partners.
If your older man doesn’t respect your ideas, opinions, or feelings and shows this by belittling or patronizing you, it’s a sign that he may not be interested in being a real partner to you.
This is a major problem with dating older guys.
They think they know better just because they’ve been around longer, and they may not take your feelings into consideration when you have just as much of a voice in the relationship as he does.
This behavior can take many forms, from gentle teasing to manipulation or aggression.
If you feel disrespected in any way, it’s important to address the issue as soon as possible and decide whether the relationship is worth continuing.
10. Unwillingness to compromise
This is also a problem in relationships with older men.
He may have expectations of how you should act and behave that are out of sync with what you’re comfortable with.
He may also be inflexible when it comes to making decisions, leading to power struggles and arguments.
11. Possessiveness and controlling attitude
An older man may be overly possessive and controlling, which can make it difficult for you to assert your own needs and opinions.
He may also expect you to comply with whatever he wants and not take your feelings into account.
This behavior is unacceptable in any relationship, regardless of the age gap between partners.
12. Lack of shared interests
It may be hard to find common ground with someone who is older than you.
He may have different tastes in music or movies, different goals and aspirations, and different values.
These differences can make it more difficult to relate to each other, which could lead to a lack of understanding between the two of you.
A relationship with an older man isn’t doomed from the start, but it is important to be aware of potential issues and how to address them.
Communication is key in any relationship, and if you can talk openly about your differences, you’ll have a much better chance of making things work.
