Cheating hardly happens in a day.
It usually involves an accumulation of days of fantasizing and obsessing over another woman.
Although some people would argue that that’s also cheating because you are already sharing emotions with someone who isn’t your partner, let’s not go into that and derail the aim of this post.
The point of this article is to help you as a wife identify the signs your husband is obsessed with another woman before it goes too far.
But even without it getting to sex, no woman wants her man to be obsessed with another woman.
Every woman wants to be the center of her husband’s world.
Normally, you want to be the one he wakes up thinking about and his last thought at night.
So, even if he never takes it to the physical aspect, it’s still a cause for alarm.
Thankfully, this post will show you what to look out for in order to quickly seek redress.
Before we go into this, understand that some of these are not an issue if he has always done this, but something could be wrong if there’s a sudden change in personality or attitude.
Having said that, let’s check out the signs to identify your husband might be nursing the thought of having an affair.
11 Signs Your Husband Is Obsessed With Another Woman
1. He Keeps Talking About Her
Have you ever been around someone in love, especially when it’s still new?
Even if you haven’t, I’m sure you can remember how you were at the beginning of your relationship or marriage—how you couldn’t complete each sentence without mentioning his name.
Well, that’s exactly what happens if your husband is obsessed with another woman.
When we love someone, we are constantly thinking about them; therefore, we are likely to unintentionally mention them any chance we get.
Of course, this doesn’t mean your husband can never speak about another woman.
Talking about someone occasionally is expected, especially when the situation calls for it.
However, talking about someone always, even when the discussion has nothing to do with them, is a cause for alarm.
Ideally, your husband should only mention you randomly and in that number of times to his friends, family, and co-workers.
But when he randomly drops a woman’s name in conversations that have nothing to do with her, he’s likely very much interested in her.
2. He Is Extra Invested In Her
It is often said that time is money.
Nobody invests time in an unprofitable venture or something they are not interested in.
If someone is obsessively curious about another, wanting to know everything about them, and going out of their way to find that information, it goes without saying that the person occupies their thoughts.
A good sign you have lost your space in your husband’s heart to another woman is that he is compulsively interested in her and her affairs.
If she’s accessible, he looks for opportunities to be around her and talk to her.
For instance, if he’s not a party animal, he might suddenly enjoy attending parties where she’ll be present.
And throughout the party, he would find ways to approach and talk to her.
On the other hand, if she’s not accessible, he’ll spend time on social media and platforms where he can know what’s going on in her life.
You’ll likely find him asking questions about her love life or undermining her partner if she’s in a relationship or married.
Because he’s obsessed, he’ll assume he’s better than the man in her life and the only one worthy to be with her.
Of course, he wouldn’t blatantly say this, but he’d often allude to how she’s better off without her man and should be with someone like him.
3. He Hides His Phone From You
Another sign your husband is obsessed with another woman is if he’s constantly on his phone – far more than usual.
Except you knew from the beginning you were married to a phone addict, a sudden addiction to his phone should alarm you, especially when he’s being shifty.
If he were using his phone innocently, even if he developed more interest in his phone, he wouldn’t hide it from you.
In that case, it’s probably because he found something new on social media that interests him.
Hiding his phone from you, however, is hardly a good sign.
He may have a new addiction that is not the phone but is only accessible through the phone if you know what I mean.
Of course, there is also another angle where he freely releases his phone because he deletes messages and keeps his tracks clean.
In that case, he wouldn’t feel the need to hide his phone.
Therefore, an unusual interest in his phone should still alarm you until you find a reasonable reason.
4. He Compares You With Her
If your husband is obsessing over another woman, he’ll consider her the epitome of womanhood.
So, if he’s constantly comparing you to another woman, it’s likely because he’s interested in her.
He sees her as a perfect woman and wants to turn you into her.
A good sign of obsession is your husband, who used to be fine with your weight, constantly telling you to have a certain weight like the object of his obsession.
Comparison is usually obvious, so you’d know.
He’d tell you, “Why can’t you be like so and so?”
“I think women should look like so and so.”
What I’m trying to say is that he wouldn’t only start doting on your weight, he’d tell you who the standard is.
The comparison doesn’t stop at the physical though.
If she’s a career woman and you are not, the domestic woman he used to love suddenly begins to irritate him and vice versa.
It is not about you; it is because he can see no one else but the woman that occupies his mind.
5. He Stops Saying I Love You
This depends on whether you used to exchange “I love you”.
Some cultures are quite conservative, so couples rarely express their love for each other openly.
However, if you used to exchange it before and your husband suddenly stops, something is wrong.
Now, this does not mean it can’t happen occasionally when people forget to exchange I love you or are too absent-minded to say it back.
But if this is now the business of the day, chances are it’s because he doesn’t feel it, so he’s not inclined to say it.
Depending on the situation with the other woman, he may not be saying it to her too.
However, that does not change a thing for an obsessed man.
If another woman is constantly in his mind, he’ll struggle to share that part of himself with both of you.
In fact, in some crazy instances, he may feel like he’s being unfaithful to her by sharing that kind of intimacy with you, which brings us to the next point.
6. He Reduces Intimacy
Intimacy is not only physical; it is also emotional.
Sometimes, a man who is fantasizing about another woman may also reduce sex with his wife because he wants it with someone else.
But even if he doesn’t – as sex can sometimes be just biological – watch out for reduced emotional intimacy.
Is he as close to you as he used to be, or do you feel an obvious distance?
If it’s the latter, another woman is likely in the picture.
Like I said earlier, he may reduce being with you because he feels guilty being with another woman but her.
Obsession is hardly reasonable, so for him, you may be regarded as the other woman.
The time that should be spent with you will be spent with her if he has access or spent stalking her on social media if he doesn’t.
7. He Stops Talking To You
Ideally, friends of couples are usually afraid to tell them about their secret because they know it will likely reach the friend’s partner as well.
The reason for this is that couples talk; they are known to be the biggest gossip partners.
Therefore, it is abnormal for your partner not to talk to you.
If he’s not, he could be talking to someone else; someone else has taken over that position you used to occupy in his life, and he now has a new gossip partner.
If the conversation around the house becomes stilted or he stops confiding in you, he probably has another confidant.
8. His Routine Changes
A sudden and unexplained routine change is a cause for alarm.
Did he usually get home around 6 p.m., but now he stays out late?
Did he used to spend the weekends at home but is now out every weekend?
Sure, routines can change if demands call for it, but in those cases, you will likely already know why he’s busy because he would have naturally told you about it.
But watch out for when it’s not mentioned and is unexplained.
His obsession with another woman could cause the changes.
9. He Is Acting Suspiciously
One way detectives zero in on suspects during an investigation is to watch out for those who are acting suspiciously.
When people are not doing what they are supposed to do – except they are psychopaths – they are likely to act and look suspicious.
If you’re an observant spouse, you’ll notice that their ways will no longer be straightforward.
They’ll lie and feed you with stories that don’t add up.
I mean, it is practically impossible to be in this situation and not lie to your partner because you will do all you can to hide it.
So, if his stories are no longer adding up, he’s extra defensive, he’s acting shifty and shady around you, there’s likely another woman in his heart or lurking around the corner.
10. He Is Extra Conscious Of His Appearance
This does not apply if you’re married to a man who has always been conscious of his appearance.
But if he was like the typical guy who wears the first thing his hand touches in his closet, a sudden conscious effort to look good could be a bad sign.
Is he changing because you asked, or does he want to look good for another woman?
You need to look into it if you haven’t encouraged him to be more presentable and the change is too sudden.
This is because humans hardly do 360-degree turns around except when there’s an incentive; usually, we change gradually.
If he was doing it in response to a demand from you, he’ll likely adjust gradually.
So a complete turnaround in his appearance could be because of another woman.
11. He Suddenly Keeps Buying You Gifts
According to the Bible the guilty runs when no man pursues.
A guilty man will want to turn your focus away from his crime and want to make up for it even when you don’t ask for it.
Gifting you once in a while is cool and may not be an issue if he has always been a gift-giver.
However, suddenly gifting you every other day could be because he wants to make up for thinking about another woman besides you.
You should find out if there’s another reason behind the gifting.
Finding one or two of these signs is not an automatic indication that your husband is obsessed with another woman.
But seeing at least five of it is a problem.
While it might not necessarily mean that he is obsessing over another woman, it still doesn’t bode well for your marriage.
My advice would be to have a polite conversation with him to explain how the sudden change makes you feel.
Try as much as you can not to accuse him yet, especially if you don’t have proof.
Even if he’s guilty, he might turn it around on you.
But worst still, if he isn’t, you would have accused an innocent man.
During the conversation, you should learn the actual situation from his words and body language.
He’s your husband after all, so you know him better.
You should know when he’s being honest and lying to you.
Then, you can identify the problem and seek redress.
Obsessing over another woman is hurtful, but you can both come back from it.