7 Things That Lack Of Intimacy Does To A Relationship

Every relationship is like a garden.

You can plant all the right seeds, love, commitment, loyalty, but without water and sunshine, those seeds will struggle to grow.

Intimacy is that water and sunshine; it’s what keeps the bond alive.

Take it away, and slowly but surely, the relationship will feel like a house where the lights have gone out, cold and uninviting.

The truth is, intimacy isn’t just about physical closeness.

It’s the general closeness and bond couples share.

It’s the laughter shared over inside jokes, the warmth of a long hug, the freedom to fart around each other, the quiet conversations before bed, and yes, the passion that keeps partners glued to each other.

Without it, couples can live under the same roof but feel like tenants and flatmates.

Their relationship may begin to feel like routine, and, if we’re honest, routine can get boring quickly.

But there’s so much more damage that can be done.

7 Things That Lack Of Intimacy Does To A Relationship

1. It opens the door to intrudersThings that lack of intimacy do to a relationship.

There’s an adage in my local dialect, Yoruba, that says, “If the wall isn’t cracked, a lizard can not penetrate.”

What this means is that before any third party or intruder can penetrate a union, there must be a crack or a loophole.

That crack can be a lack of intimacy.

When the closeness and bond a couple shares goes down, they’re more prone to getting divided by third parties.

At times like this, the risk of other people penetrating the relationship is very high.

The third parties can be friends, acquaintances, family, admirers, or anyone else.

People who never had a chance to become issues in the relationship now have the opportunity to come in.

One or both parties in the relationship can become more vulnerable to outside attention, whether in the form of emotional connections or full-blown affairs.

It’s not always intentional, but the hunger for closeness may push them in risky directions.

When intimacy dries up at home, the desire for connection doesn’t magically disappear.

It’s still there.

And when it’s starved, temptations look more appealing.

Partners drift into separate worlds.

They sleep in the same bed but live completely different lives, emotionally disconnected and chasing fulfillment outside the relationship.

2. Emotional distanceThings that lack of intimacy do to a relationship.

Intimacy is the glue that makes two people feel truly close.

Without it, partners may still talk, laugh, and be together, but something deeper feels missing.

Slowly, conversations become surface-level, and instead of lovers, they start feeling more like polite roommates.

There’s no connection there anymore.

The relationship stops feeling like home and starts feeling strange.

3. Friendship diesThings that lack of intimacy do to a relationship.

Without intimacy, the “best friend” vibe disappears.

Partners stop being excited to share life’s little details.

Their communication takes a downward spiral, and if care isn’t taken, things can get worse from there.

Because the less they share, the more they drift apart, and the farther they are, the more difficult it is for them to fix things.

This once happened in my relationship.

It started as a fight, and because we were both reluctant to make the first move and fix things, we allowed it to linger for a while, affecting our intimacy and closeness.

Things just kept going from bad to worse.

We became cold towards each other and stopped talking like friends.

By the time we realized it and wanted to fix things, it was harder because we had lost our communication rhythm.

Intimacy is not only physical, it is also emotional vulnerability.

When that is missing, couples often find it challenging to relate closely and freely with each other.

4. Resentment brewsThings that lack of intimacy do to a relationship.

Lack of intimacy doesn’t just cause calm emotions like sadness and silence; it can lead to strong ones like anger and resentment, too.

When one or both partners feel starved of intimacy, frustration can quietly build.

The unspoken question “Why don’t you reach for me anymore?” can turn into bitterness.

Over time, this resentment can show up in arguments, withdrawal, or cold shoulders, even over unrelated issues.

Suddenly, they’re mad at each other all the time, even over small things.

What they share loses its warmth and becomes easier to abandon.

The couple may still love each other, but love without closeness can feel empty.

It’s in those cracks that doubts creep in, and their desire to stay committed to each other dies down.

5. The sparks dieThings that lack of intimacy do to a relationship.

Every relationship needs a touch of passion to stay alive.

Without intimacy, love can become mechanical; just bills, chores, and schedules.

It’s like eating plain rice every day without stew: it might be filling, but it’s tasteless.

Couples may still function together, but the excitement that once made the relationship vibrant slowly fades.

And before you know it, when either of them tries to show affection, it feels awkward.

Small touches, hugs, or kisses start to feel forced or rare.

They’re now wondering if they’re lovers or strangers.

At this point, the relationship is now stiff.

6. Insecurity walks inThings that lack of intimacy do to a relationship.

When the closeness in a relationship goes down, insecurity will find its way in.

One or both partners will start questioning themselves, wondering if they’ve done something wrong, if they’ve lost their attractiveness, or if there’s someone else in their partner’s life.

And sometimes none of those things might be the case.

The relationship may just be going through a tough time, or the partner may be dealing with something.

But because of the absence of proper communication, one person will be left feeling insecure.

And this insecurity can eat away at self-esteem and trust, shaking the foundation of the relationship and making it fragile.

7. Conflict resolution becomes harder

Intimacy softens hearts, making forgiveness easier.

When the warmth and affection in a relationship go out of the window, not only will fights become more common, but resolving them will also be hard.

This is because the emotional bond is thinning out, so there is no basis for patience, tolerance, kindness, and affection.

So, every gbas will quickly be met with an equal gbos, aura for aura.

Retaliation will be quick, and forgiveness will be hard.

Every disagreement will feel like a battle.

Things will fall apart quickly and easily.

Lack of intimacy doesn’t just leave a relationship dry; it weakens it and makes it unwelcoming.

And it’s not always noticed early because it creeps in quietly.

But the moment it is observed, couples should address it and seek to fix it.

Understanding the reason is a good place to start. 

When you know how you got to where you are, you can then figure out how to get out. 

But don’t give up on the relationship simply because the intimacy has gone down; it may just be a wakeup call. 

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