Getting into a new relationship brings a lot of excitement and happy feelings, but sometimes, it can also be accompanied by some confusion.
How do I ease into this relationship?
How do I become comfortable with vulnerability?
What should I share, and what should I keep away from for now?
You want to know just how much you should share to create a healthy foundation of openness and honesty in the relationship.
Don’t worry.
I’ll tell you 15 things you should never hide when you’re starting a new relationship.
I’m not saying you should write these information on your forehead or just start divulging them immediately, I’m saying they should be knowledge that is accessible to your partner.
You shouldn’t be making a conscious effort to hide these things.
15 Things You Should Never Hide When Starting A New Relationship:
1. Your values and beliefs
One of my favorite relationship quotes is from the Bible.
It says, “Can two walk together unless they agree?”
I’m sure you know that the answer is No.
If we’re being honest, one of the reasons why many relationships end, and many marriages fall apart is because the couple cannot agree.
Partners need to be open about their mindsets, beliefs, core values, and ideologies about life with each other because these things shape who they are.
You don’t have to tell the whole world about your beliefs, but you owe it to your partner to do so.
This is because hiding it from them may do a lot of harm in the long run.
Your lives are about to become connected in a very special way, and these things can arise as hindrances or issues between you two.
Your mindset and beliefs influence your lifestyle, and if it conflict with theirs, it might be an issue.
You must let them know so that they can be aware and mentally prepared for necessary adjustments.
This is particularly important if you have unique or different ideologies.
If you have any major thought process that differs from the conventional or predominant cultural one in your environment, please do well to share it with your partner.
2. Your deal breakers
If they do not already know your deal breakers, this is the time to make it known.
Not in an abrasive way that would make it seem as though you’re attacking them, but in the most subtle way possible.
You don’t even have to bring it up yourself as a topic.
It may just come up in conversations when you guys are talking about other people’s relationships or random stories.
But what you shouldn’t do is intentionally hide it from them.
When you keep such information away from your partner, you put your relationship at risk.
3. Your expectations
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen couples fall out due to expectations that were not communicated and ended up not being met, let us just say I’d have a lot of them.
Many times, unmet expectations happen because those expectations were not communicated.
You know how you want to be loved and what you expect from a relationship; your partner may not.
You must make it known to them.
You don’t have to communicate verbally in all cases in case you don’t want to be seen as pushy or desperate but you should never hide it from them.
Your expectations in areas like boundaries, commitment, exclusivity, timelines, sex, communication, and so on should be made known to your partner.
This will bring about mutual understanding and respect.
It’s too early to start feeling disappointed, so whenever the opportunity presents itself, let your partner know what you require.
4. Your relationship history
Please, for God’s sake, your partner shouldn’t be finding out about your ex from a random person or something that comes up later in the future.
Hopefully, you haven’t had to kiss too many frogs before you met them, so you can easily tell them about your exes without needing to write a dissertation.
But even if you’ve had several exes, you should let your partner know.
If not every detail, the important ones.
Never hide relevant details about your previous relationships from your current partner.
Not for any special reason but for the sake of honesty and sometimes to provide context for your current relationship.
5. Basic information about your family
You should particularly pay attention to this if you and your partner are looking at getting married.
Family is a major part of most people’s lives, so your family dynamics are not an insignificant or minor detail that should be kept from your partner.
If you desire to bond more with your partner, one of the ways to achieve that is by letting them into information about your family, including any important family traditions, culture, or challenges.
Of course, you should share at your pace and at the rate you feel comfortable sharing but you shouldn’t be actively seeking to hide it.
6. Any serious issues you have
If you’re hiding your issues from anyone, it shouldn’t be your partner.
People deal with different things and hopefully, the person you’re with is mature and loving enough not to judge you for your issues or mistakes.
Be open about the issues you have, such as health issues, emotional baggage, or other personal challenges.
More so if those issues play a role in your relationship and can affect your partner.
For instance, if you have financial issues, such as debt or bad spending habits, you should let them know.
They can stand in as your accountability partner or just a support system to help you deal with those issues.
This so applies to destructive habits and addictions or legal issues that you’ve dealt with in the past or present.
You don’t want surprises springing up in the future.
Being open about these things is not to scare them away but to help them understand you better and know how to help you.
7. Your plans
If you’re going to be spending a significant part of the rest of your life with this person, then you should be privy to information about each other’s long-term plans.
You shouldn’t be gatekeeping information about your career, goals, or opportunities.
Things like aspirations and dreams need to be talked about to ensure compatibility.
8. Your friendships
There’s no reason for you to hide your friends from your partner.
Unless, of course, you don’t like or trust your friends.
But if you’re big on friendships and have at least one friend, you shouldn’t hide them from your partner.
Be transparent about your friends and the role they play in your life.
9. Your hobbies and interests
Hobbies and interests help couples bond and relax.
You may discover that you both share similar interests.
And even if you don’t, that’s okay.
You can introduce each other and find common ground.
You’ll be grateful years down the line for this.
10. Your background
Don’t hide where you’re coming from from your partner.
Your cultural background should be accessible to them.
If there are any special traditions and how they may influence your perspectives and actions, let them know.
It’ll help them understand you, your thought process, and even your actions better.
11. Your views about marriage and parenting
If you both are talking about marriage and having kids, this is one you need to pay attention to.
Don’t hide your views about marriage and parenting from your partner.
Be open about your thoughts on timelines, expectations, and the future.
Things like your approach to discipline and family values should also be made known.
12. Significant information about your past
This one is a little tricky because some people say, “If it’s in the past, let it remain there.”
But we can’t ignore that because, you see, actions have consequences, and just because something happened in the past doesn’t mean that it’s totally left your life.
You have to be wise about what information you let out depending on your partner and situation, but you must present a reasonable level of honesty.
Information about your past can include your past mistakes and regrets, physical or mental health history, and even your sexual just some times.
13. Your social media presence
Imagine discovering online that your new partner is a lifestyle content creator on TikTok who posts everything about their life online.
Or waking up to see a video of you sleeping posted on the internet by your partner because that’s what they do.
Yeah, I’m sure nobody would want that.
Not because they’re not open to the content creation thing but because of how they found out.
Be open about your social media usage and presence so that your partner doesn’t get surprised.
If you’re a serial commenter who is always in people’s comment sections arguing about things and insulting others, you may want to let your partner know as well that you are opinionated and do not mind arguing with strangers on the internet.
That’s better than them randomly finding out themselves or being sent screenshots by friends and family of your shenanigans.
14. Your personality and preferences
We all have our uniqueness, and that’s what makes us special.
Some of these things are positive, some negative, and others are just there.
Whatever side your habits and traits fall under, you shouldn’t hide them from your partner unless you want to live a fake and pretentious life.
Let them know how you truly feel about things, your personality traits, your pet peeves, your desires, etc.
If you have some preferences when it comes to lifestyle, travel, and so on, discuss it with them.
Emotional and physical boundaries should also not be left out.
That’s how you create the foundation for mutual respect and understanding.
15. The relationship
This is a little different.
I’m not talking about what you shouldn’t hide from your partner in your new relationship.
I’m saying you shouldn’t hide your new relationship itself.
It’s okay to want your confidentiality and space, especially when starting something as intimate as a relationship.
However, you shouldn’t completely hide it from everyone.
At least, let a few of the closest people in your life be aware of this new development.
Your relationship can be private, but it shouldn’t be a secret.
It’s important not to hide the relationship because your friends and family may have useful advice for you.
They may also help you when you’re going in the wrong direction or identify red flags that you’re too in love to see.
These are the things you should never hide when you’re starting a new relationship.
Although situations differ, if you love and trust a person enough to start a relationship with them, then you should be open about these things with them.
This will help build trust and understanding between you two, and it should be both ways, too.