Sometimes, you can’t be too careful when dealing with men and their numerous attempts to sweep you off your feet.
Many men come into your life for the sole purpose of making you fall in love with them.
However, not all of them have good intentions towards you.
Certain men just want to get you to fall in love with them and then string you along even while they have fun with you.
It takes skill not to fall victim to such kinds of men.
However, if you pay attention to their actions rather than their words, you will be able to discern when a man doesn’t love you.
After all, according to Mark Twain, “Action speaks louder than words“.
Men hold this quote as a creed that directs their lives.
Many men find it hard to express themselves with words.
However, where words may disguise the intentions, actions reveal them.
It is really not hard to know when a man doesn’t love you.
All you need to do is observe his actions around you.
To help you do this, here is a list of various things men only do when they don’t love you…
10 Things Men Do When They Don’t Love You
1. He is always critical of you
He seems like a perfectionist.
You can’t seem to please him with anything you do, no matter how well you do it.
He is extremely critical of you and complains all the time.
All these are not signs of a man who loves you.
Granted, it is impossible to always please someone you love all the time.
However, if he truly loves you, he won’t criticize everything you do.
He would learn to appreciate you whenever you do things the right way and whenever you don’t, he would correct you gently without using any derogatory words and making you look like you can’t do anything right.
It is sad that many women have now normalized making excuses for men who belittle them under the guise of correcting them.
That’s not love.
Love is kind, gentle, patient, and doesn’t envy.
Love is all of these, but one thing it isn’t is “critical.”
So, if he is always critical of you, it is a sign he doesn’t love you.
Being extremely critical of you is one of the things men do when they don’t love you.
2. He doesn’t listen to you
For me, one of the greatest expressions of love ever is when a man truly listens to you.
Listening is one of the hardest things to do.
And you must note that I am not referring to when you just listen half-heartedly without paying much attention to the person speaking.
Most people find it difficult to actually listen without being distracted or bored by the conversation.
When a man loves you, listening to you comes easy.
He wants to know everything there is to know about you.
He wants to know about how you spent your day, what your dreams and aspirations are… and …
He just wants to hear you talk.
He wants to look deep into your eyes while you share deep and not-so-deep things with him.
However, when a man doesn’t love you, he can’t feign interest in you for long.
He really doesn’t want to know about you, and whenever you supply the information voluntarily, he reacts like it’s not his business.
He doesn’t pay attention to you because he really has no serious intentions for you.
When a man doesn’t listen to you, it is a sign that he doesn’t love you because men listen to the women they love.
3. He is not vulnerable with you
Throughout the ages, men have been conditioned to be hard, impenetrable, and stoic just like a wall.
This stereotyping has put undue pressure on men to hide their weaknesses and put up a facade of strength even when they are in dire need of help.
When I was a child, I loved to play rough, and I used to get injured while doing so.
I would cry, and my father would tell me that big men don’t cry.
Gradually, I got to the point where I would feel pain, but I wouldn’t cry out because I felt that crying was disgraceful for any big man.
My point is that, despite the stereotyping and conditioning, when a man loves you, he will find it easier to open up to you.
He not only lets you see his weaknesses, he requires your support to get through difficult times.
When a man loves you, he is vulnerable with you and wants you to be the same way with him.
However, a guy who doesn’t love you won’t let you get close enough to see his weaknesses.
He would rather ghost you when he is going through difficult phases than ask for your support.
Even when he does ask for your help, it may seem that he is attempting to use you for his own benefit.
He doesn’t encourage vulnerability in you because he doesn’t care about what is going on in your life.
4. He avoids talking about the future with you
If he avoids any conversation that may lead to planning his future with you, it is a sign that he doesn’t love you.
One of the things men do with women they don’t love is they focus on the present.
So, you are asking him when he will make his relationship with you official, and he is saying, “Let’s take things one step at a time.”
He is merely stringing you along.
He has no real plans for the future and doesn’t love you enough to even envisage a future with you.
The fact is that, even in the present, he feels like he is managing you, and he has no plans to continue bearing your presence in the future.
When a man avoids talking about the future with you, it is an obvious sign that you are just a temporary thing for him.
5. He uses derogatory words on you
This is a very important action that points out to you if a man loves you or not.
No man belittles or demeans anything he loves and values.
When men love, they actually value and respect you as well.
This means they speak to you kindly and treat you gently like the precious jewel that you are.
However, if he uses demeaning and hurtful words without scruples when talking to you, it is a sign that he doesn’t love you.
He may even use abusive words on you when he is angry at you.
If he calls you names like “bitch”, “slut” or “whore” and you make excuses for him, saying he grew up in the slums and knows no better way to express himself when he is angry, then you are simply enabling him to maltreat you.
No man speaks to the woman he loves this way because he knows that such words are offensive and demeaning.
6. He manipulates you
When a man loves you, he doesn’t attempt to manipulate you or pressure you into doing things you wouldn’t do normally.
Manipulation is a sign of a toxic relationship, and it is a tool used by people who don’t care about others or people who care too much.
A man who doesn’t love you will refuse to respect your boundaries.
He will keep on pushing at it, trying to find ways to encroach on that forbidden territory.
He will try to persuade you to do things you don’t want to do, even when he knows that doing them is detrimental to you.
He would make use of any tool in his dirty bag of tricks to do this…
Guilt tripping, gaslighting, coercion, and sometimes actual blackmail are some of the tools he employs to get you to do things you don’t want to do.
I remember when a female friend came to me troubled and said, “My boyfriend said he wants me to prove that I love him by having sex with him.”
Now, to give you a good background on the relationship…
The lady had already stated that she couldn’t have sex with him until marriage before they started the relationship, and he agreed.
Perhaps he felt that he could subtly manipulate her into having sex with him later.
But he failed at all his attempts.
So, the last option available was to try emotional blackmail.
I told her that sex was not a proof of love.
If it was, why do people have casual sex with people they just met a few hours ago?
Sex has never been and will never be a proof of love.
I told her all of this, and she agreed with me.
But her resolve wasn’t strong enough because she gave in and had sex with him.
That was the day the “relationship” ended.
Any man who keeps trying to manipulate you into lowering your values for him doesn’t love you.
7. He doesn’t support you
A man who doesn’t listen to you will definitely not support you because he won’t know when to support you.
When a man truly loves you, he will be your biggest cheerleader, and as you take on the challenges of life, he will always be by the sidelines, cheering you on to victory.
Every time you feel like giving up, you look back and he is there, motivating you.
This is what love is about.
It is not just about companionship or sex; it is about helping you become a better person without condemnation or overt criticism.
When a man doesn’t love you, he is never around when you need him.
He doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t provide support.
His go-to reply for you when you need help is “It is well”.
It’s not like saying that is wrong, but he must also show through his actions that he is prepared to ensure that all is truly well.
When a man doesn’t support you, you can conclude that he doesn’t love you.
8. He never seeks your opinion before doing things
When a man truly loves you, he learns to value you as well.
How does a man express how much he values you?
He does this by asking for your opinion about major aspects of his life.
He wants to know what you think about his plans before putting them into motion.
That’s a sign that a man loves and values you.
If he doesn’t ask for your opinions and largely ignores your views when you express them, it is a sign that he doesn’t love and value you.
You don’t play such an important role in his life, and he shows this by doing whatever he wants without including you in the decision-making.
9. He doesn’t prioritize you
Does he go days and weeks without being in touch with you?
Does he barely spend time with you because he claims he is so busy at work?
If the answer to the questions above is yes, then you can conclude that he doesn’t love you.
These are the things men do when they don’t love you.
If a man loves you, he will make time to spend with you even in his very busy schedule.
They say if your conversation with him is getting shorter, it’s getting longer with someone else.
10. He never apologizes
You can never be right all the time in your relationship.
It takes maturity and love to know when you are wrong and apologize duly.
Many men may find it a little difficult to apologize when they are wrong.
However, a man who loves you will make every effort to apologize when he is wrong.
He will not only apologize for being wrong, but he will also take steps to make things right.
If he is never wrong in the relationship, it may be a sign that he doesn’t love you.
And even when he knows he is wrong, he doesn’t see the need to apologize because he doesn’t care about your feelings.
These are some of the things men do when they don’t love you.
It is important that you recognize the signs now because it will save you years of heartache.
If you are in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t love you, I really hope you have the courage to leave that relationship.
Don’t settle for less because the best is yet to come!