Are there things to consider before making a relationship official?
Perhaps you’ve been seeing someone for some time, and you guys have been flowing well.
They’re good-looking, your conversations flow effortlessly, the chemistry is electrifying, and you see yourself dating them for a long time.
You both are still into each other, just like the first time, after some months, weeks, or dates.
Neither of you has brought up the “defining the relationship” talk, but deep within you, you know that you’re ready to move the relationship to the next level.
No matter the amount of adrenaline rush you feel by the mere thought of making your relationship official, it can feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Some people see deciding to make a relationship official as a mere formality that doesn’t have any major significance in the grand scheme of things.
However, making a relationship official can be a huge step in the right direction and demands careful consideration.
Whether you choose to make your relationship official or not, no rule governs these things.
But if you’re bent on going through the “What are we?” route, here are some of the things to consider before making a relationship official:
5 Important Things To Consider Before Making A Relationship Official
1. Do you share similar values?
If you’ve gotten to the point where you agree to be exclusive with your partner, you need to review your values and check whether or not they are similar.
It’s ideal that you look for someone who shares the same values with you, desires similar things in a relationship as you, and is seamlessly in sync with you on how to achieve those things.
For instance, your partner may love to party, but you’re the exact opposite, and then you begin to wonder how awkward the weekends you’ll spend together will be.
It can also be that they’ve mentioned that they nurse the idea of moving to a farther part of the country away from home, but you find happiness and fulfillment in staying close to home.
To you, the idea of having a long-distance relationship is overwhelming, and you can’t help but wonder where the relationship is headed.
I’m not saying that you can’t reach a compromise and strike some sort of balance in situations like the two mentioned above.
However, one of the most important parts of deciding whether or not to go official with your relationship is reviewing your main values together and seeing if there’s a feasible future ahead.
2. Do you think both of you are ready emotionally?
You must check your expectations and boundaries to know if you’re on the same page.
Failure to do this will make one person think that the relationship is official while the other party still sees it as a hookup or casual dating because both of you are on different pages of the same book.
Talking to each other honestly about your positions emotionally and deciding together to move the relationship to the next level is important.
3. Do you think you’re ready to be exclusive?
One of the very important things to consider before making a relationship official is your readiness to be in an exclusive relationship with the person you’re dating.
Another is their willingness and readiness to have an exclusive relationship with you.
Do you think that becoming official will make sense for your lifestyle and behavior?
You must put into consideration whether or not being in an official relationship is realistic for your partner and yourself.
Do you truly believe that you can be good partners to each other if the relationship becomes official?
If your partner is unreliable or unpredictable, it’ll not make any sense to get into an official relationship with them, no matter how deeply attracted you are to them.
4. Are you ready to live with their flaws?
Another good way to check if you’re ready to become official with someone you’re dating is to think about the things you don’t like about them.
While it’s easy for you to turn a blind eye to these flaws during the honeymoon period, the truth remains that relationships have their ups and downs, and no relationship is ever a smooth ride all through.
Thinking deeply about the qualities and characters that your partner depicts will help you make a guided decision on whether or not you can go into an official relationship with them.
For instance, do they exhibit any behavior that makes you icky?
Or are there some relationship red flags, such as controlling behavior, immaturity, or rudeness, that you noticed about them?
It’s one thing to dislike the simple act of leaving unwashed dishes in the sink.
It’s also another to deal with disrespect from your partner.
If your partner has any character that gives you concern, ask yourself whether it’s something that can be worked on or if it’s a relationship breaker.
Check if you’re very comfortable being with your partner with all their imperfections.
While there’s no perfect human, I don’t think you know this person well enough to be in an official relationship with them if you can’t think of anything that you don’t like about them.
5. Are you ready to take them personally?
How do you feel addressing them as your partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend?
This is something you should think about when thinking of making your relationship official.
What’s the relationship language you’re comfortable with?
How ready are you to call them your significant other or partner?
Are you ready to introduce them to your friends and family in that manner?
What are the exact dating terms you like to use?
While it’s normal and general to address your partner as a boyfriend or girlfriend when a relationship becomes official, it’s different strokes for different folks.
It’s not a bad idea to talk about how you portray your relationship to the outside world when you make it official.
Conclusion
Dating is a lot of work already, and you need to be sure that the pace you’re moving at is comfortable enough for you.
If, after reading this piece, you still have doubts about getting into an official relationship, answer these questions:
What does the idea of defining your relationship do to you – makes you nervous, excited, or both?
Are you at ease and comfortable with the person you’re seeing?
Do you feel pressured in any way to go official?
Do you want to be in an official relationship?
Does your partner appreciate and respect you?
You know yourself better than everyone else, so consider the answers to these questions carefully before rushing into making your relationship official.
Whether you’re still having doubts about it or you feel completely ready, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re in control of how things play out.
Take your time and move at your own pace.
This way, any decision you make will feel right to you.