“Love.”
It’s a simple four-letter word that carries immense weight.
I love love!
It’s the reason I write about love and relationship.
However, more often than not, we rush into uttering these three precious words ”I love you” without truly understanding the profoundness behind them.
They’re more than just words; they’re a commitment, a promise of companionship, trust, respect, understanding, and so much more.
As women, we feel special when a guy we love says the magic words, “I love you.”
No matter who you are or whatever stage you are in your relationship, there are crucial questions you must honestly answer before saying, “I Love You.”
Let’s see eight of them:
8 Questions You Must Honestly Answer Before Saying “I Love You.”
1: Do you truly know them?
Love isn’t about idealizing a version of someone that fits your narrative; it’s about accepting them for who they are.
Can you list their strengths, their flaws, their passions, and their fears?
Can you honestly say that you’ve seen them in their rawest form, be it their joyful laughter after a corny joke or their teary breakdown on a tough day?
I get that you don’t have to know all about someone to say “I love you,” but you do need to know enough about the person to feel like you understand who they are.
Because declaring your love to someone means you see them for who they are and accept them as such.
2: Do you enjoy being with them?
It’s not enough to simply tolerate someone; if your relationship is going to be strong, both of you have to enjoy spending time together genuinely.
Do you look forward to long conversations over coffee or walks along the beach?
Do you find yourself smiling when they appear on your doorstep like it’s a slice of sunshine peeking through the clouds?
Do you look forward to being with them?
You can’t claim to love someone if you don’t enjoy spending time with them.
3: Are you listening to your head or your heart?
It’s natural to feel butterflies in our stomach when we start falling for someone.
But that doesn’t mean these feelings necessarily equate to love.
You need to analyze why you have these feelings objectively.
Do you actually think the other person is great, or is it just the notion of being in love that’s making you feel this way?
Are your feelings based on reality, or are they merely an idea in your head?
Listing out the pros and cons can be helpful here.
You could even ask close friends and family to give their opinions because they are more likely to be more objective than you.
They are not in love; you are.
But then, it’s up to you to decide whether you are just swept up by the intensity of emotions or if there is something more.
4: Are you able to communicate effectively with them
Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship.
Before saying “I love you,” ask yourself, ”Can we talk about anything and everything under the sun?”
Do they understand your feelings, and are you able to express yours without feeling judged?
Are you comfortable discussing difficult topics with them without feeling awkward or uncomfortable?
If the answer is ‘yes,’ then it is much more likely that these are not just fleeting emotions.
You could be in love.
But if the communication isn’t flowing, and it always seems forced, how will you enjoy your relationship?
Because you’ll likely be talking more than any other activity, so you have to get the communication part right; otherwise, you’ll be stuck.
Of course, communication can always be worked on.
3: Can you trust them completely?
Trust isn’t just about not cheating on your partner or your partner cheating on you.
It’s about believing that your partner will be there for you in your moments of vulnerability, that they will support you in your journey, and respect your boundaries.
You should ask yourself, ”Can I trust this person with my emotions, dreams, goals, and secrets?”
Although the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
But at least you should have the sense that your partner can be trusted.
If you don’t feel comfortable trusting them, it might be better to think twice before entering into a relationship with them.
4: Can you accept their past?
Everyone carries a bit of their past into the present.
The key is not to dwell on it but to understand and accept it.
Can you embrace their past experiences, relationships, and mistakes as part of who they are today?
Love doesn’t hold a magnifying glass over past mistakes; it sees how they’ve shaped the person you care for.
We are all products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.
However, if you can’t accept someone’s past, there’s no point saying you love them.
Years ago, a friend sought my counsel about a lady he really liked and wanted to date.
But he couldn’t get past her ‘dirty’ past.
He just couldn’t.
So, if a person’s past bothers you so much, think twice before you say, ”I love you.”
5. Do you support their dreams and aspirations?
You have no business loving someone whose dreams you don’t believe in.
Love means believing and supporting them in whatever aspirations they have, even if they don’t always make sense to you.
It also means understanding when the person changes their mind or goals because of life experiences.
Loving someone requires sharing in their dreams wherever it leads, no matter how far away those dreams may take them from you.
So before you declare your love to someone, ask yourself if you love what they do and want and are willing to stand by them no matter what.
If the answer is yes, you’re well on your way.
But if it’s a no, your love for them may not be strong enough to overcome the challenges that come with having different dreams.
Loving someone requires understanding their desires and finding ways to support them even if you can’t be there physically.
6. Do you share core values?
This is perhaps the first question you should ask yourself before committing to a relationship.
Do you and the person you love have similar values and beliefs?
Do you believe in the same set of morals?
While you and your partner don’t need to agree on everything, aligning on fundamental principles can make it easier to navigate through life together.
No matter what aspirations, interests, or desires you and your partner have in life, if you don’t share core values, it will be very difficult to build a meaningful relationship because you’ll disagree more than you agree.
7. Are you ready for commitment?
Saying “I love you” is a serious commitment; it’s like signing an emotional contract.
Are you ready to commit to this person?
Are you prepared to invest your time, energy, and emotions into nurturing this relationship?
Commitment means sticking through the highs and lows together.
If you are not ready to be committed, please keep your ”I love you” to yourself.
8: Are the feelings mutual?
If you don’t want to be a victim of unrequited love, make sure that the feelings are mutual.
Because nothing hurts like loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way.
So, before you jump into a relationship, make sure that your feelings are reciprocated by the other person.
Take the time to get to know your partner better and ask yourself if this person is truly interested in you.
Are they taking an active interest in you, or are they just going through the motions?
Do they make efforts to stay connected even when apart?
These are signs of reciprocated love.
You can also ask them directly how they feel about you.
If the person is honest and open with you, you’ll know where you stand in their life.
If you read this article with an open mind, you’d know that saying “I love you” is about more than just feelings.
It’s a testament to your understanding, acceptance, communication, trust, and willingness to grow together.
So, before you utter those three powerful words, take a moment, reflect on these questions, and ensure that your love is as profound as the commitment these words entail.
Love responsibly, love honestly, and love wholly.
All the best!