Love and relationships have taken a whole new turn nowadays.
You might find yourself in a situation where a guy showers you with love and affection, yet he may not be looking for anything serious.
It’s a common “situationship”, and I believe that’s why you’re here to figure out if the connection you’re feeling with your guy is genuine.
As a wise Nigerian saying goes, ‘Character is like smoke; they will always find a way to come out.’
No matter how much someone showers you with love, there are signs that reveal their true intentions.
In this article, we’ll share twelve signs that show he may not be looking for a serious commitment.
12 Signs He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious
1. He avoids talking about future plans
If you’re wondering where you stand with a guy, try bringing up talks about future plans.
If he’s not keen on discussing things beyond the present and is content with having a relationship that drags, that says it all.
I have heard stories of ladies who dated one guy for up to ten years without headway.
Ten years is a long time to journey without a destination in view.
In fact, some guys go as far as putting a ring on the lady’s finger just to tie her down.
After the excitement of the engagement, she will now realize that he wasn’t serious after all.
Sad, but true.
If he keeps dragging the relationship and is too comfortable in the now, then you should question his seriousness.
2. You are not his priority
A serious relationship requires partners to make time for each other.
If you often feel like you’re not at the top of his priority list, that’s telling something.
Whether plans keep getting canceled, messages take ages to get a reply, or there’s just a lack of effort to hang out, it could mean he’s not in for a serious connection.
See it this way: when someone is seriously into a relationship, they make the effort to put the person they’re dating first.
But if your guy frequently puts you on the back burner or treats you like an afterthought, it’s a sign he might not be fully on board for a serious thing.
Pay good attention to how much weight he gives your relationship in his daily life.
It’s a good gauge of just how committed he really is.
3. He says but will not do
He’s not exactly reliable when it comes to keeping his promises.
You know, actions speak louder than words, especially in relationships.
If what he says doesn’t quite match up with what he does, that’s a telling sign.
Let’s say he talks a lot about commitment and long-term plans, but he consistently falls short when it’s time to follow through.
That mismatch might be a hint that he’s not all that sincere.
For example, he claims to value serious relationships and wants to invest time in something meaningful, but his actions paint a different story.
It could mean his words and intentions are totally on different pages.
Trust and commitment hang on the synergy between what’s said and what’s done.
See if his actions are singing the same song as his words.
That’s a way to understand his true feelings and intentions.
4. His emotional availability is low
Pay attention to whether he steers clear the coast of meaningful or deep talks about feelings or personal experiences.
If every conversation stays on the surface, and he avoids going into emotional experiences, he’s probably not ready for the serious emotional investment that is required for a serious relationship.
I once heard of a guy who was always guarded in conversations with his woman; she couldn’t tell how far was too far, so she pretty much walked on eggshells around him.
This is a big red flag!
In a serious relationship, we share deeper aspects of ourselves, our past, and our current experiences.
If he sticks to superficial discussions, it might suggest he’s hesitant to fully engage emotionally, possibly because he’s not looking for anything serious.
5. He introduces you as a casual friend to his family and friends
He probably feels reluctant to introduce you to his friends and family, and if all he does, how he does it, says a lot about his intentions.
If he consistently labels you as just a “friend” in front of important people, it might signal he’s not quite ready for a serious commitment.
It is what it is – He sees you as a casual friend, shikena.
Imagine you’re at a family gathering or social event together, and he downplays the romantic side of your connection.
It’s not only about labels but also the message they convey.
Introducing you as ‘just a friend’ might suggest he’s not fully comfortable or prepared to present you as a serious, long-term partner.
Observing how he introduces you in social settings can offer insights into how he sees your relationship.
6. He puts little effort into building trust
Building a strong connection in a relationship depends a lot on trust.
So, if your guy isn’t making an effort to build that trust, it could mean he is not serious about the relationship.
Take note of signs like not being open, breaking promises, or avoiding important talks.
If he’s not putting in the work to earn and keep your trust, and you notice trust issues lingering, it could be a hint that he’s not fully committed to the seriousness of the relationship.
7. He talks about independence a lot
To be honest, independence is essential even in relationships, but if your guy is always stressing how much he needs space and wants to do things independently, it could be a sign he’s not ready for a serious, committed relationship.
Yes.
If he’s consistently putting his need for independence above shared experiences, it might mean he’s not quite prepared to blend lives with you fully.
To make this simple, he’s drawing a line around his personal space, and while boundaries are okay, too much emphasis on independence might show he’s not ready for the closeness that comes with a committed relationship.
8. He is unwilling to define the relationship
Did you ever bring up the “What are we?” question, and did he somehow dodge it?
If it appears like he is reluctant to put a label on your relationship, this could be a sign pointing out something.
When guys are really into committing, they’re usually okay with hashing out where things stand.
If he keeps sidestepping or straight-up ignoring that talk, it might mean he’s not quite ready for a more committed, clear-cut connection.
9. He is inconsistent in conflict resolution
Take note of how he acts after disagreements.
If he’s not quick to fix things and tends to let tension linger instead of finding solutions, it might show that putting effort into the relationship and valuing the bond isn’t his thing.
Maybe he doesn’t care, and you are the one always pushing for a settlement and apologizing even when you are obviously not at fault.
This may come off as a rude shock, but he isn’t ready for anything serious.
You are alone in the relationship.
10. All he wants is sex
If all your relationship is centered around is sex, and your guy never talks about future plans, then he is not serious.
He is only after the cookie, and can you blame him?
He is literally eating his cake as well as having it.
He can’t be serious with you or conceive future plans when he gets all the benefits in the now.
11. He is unemployed, unambitious and over available
This one is dicey.
If he is unemployed, shows signs of a lack of ambition, and is all over your face, he may just be kissing up to you.
He sends you an SMS or calls you on the hour, is always online and looking to have long conversations with you, and even desires long calls at night, too!
Ah! Nigerians call this type of situation “one chance.”
Time wasters come in different shapes and sizes.
Some are very obvious, while others are chameleons that change subtly.
The latter might be your guy.
Perhaps he is playing on the strings of your heart to eat into your pocket.
Or maybe he derives fulfillment from having you as his girlfriend.
His reason may be as shallow as he is.
Newsflash: He isn’t serious with you.
12. He is still in contact with his ex
Pay attention to how much your guy talks about and to his ex.
Is it more than just the usual catch-up?
If he’s keeping the conversation going more often, it might be a sign he’s not totally over the past.
Being pals with an ex isn’t necessarily bad, but figuring out if he still has strong feelings is important.
If he’s stuck in the past emotionally, it could mean he’s not fully ready for a new relationship, which means he can’t be serious with you.
Now, please don’t worry.
His actions don’t automatically mean he doesn’t love you or can’t be serious.
It just signals there is something to figure out.
Maybe he’s unsure about the relationship, or perhaps you both need to show more commitment.
He might be scared or dealing with personal issues.
Anything’s possible, really.
The important thing is to have an open talk with him and express that it’s time to define the relationship.
Time’s ticking, so address it sooner rather than later.