If you’ve ever watched a movie where someone or a group is carrying out a clandestine operation, one thing always stands out: the fear of being caught.
Let’s bring it home to extramarital affairs: it is one thing for a man to cheat on his wife.
However, what happens when the married man keeps a mistress even after his wife catches him?
E shock you? (Nigerian pidgin way of asking, “Are you also shocked?”)
Why would a married man keep a mistress after being caught by his wife?
There are several reasons behind this, and we’ll be exploring some of them in this article.
8 Shocking Reasons A Married Man Would Keep A Mistress After Being Caught By His Wife
1. He loves the physical intimacy
The cat is out of the bag now, but if he continues cheating blatantly, then it may be that he is too taken in by the sex to look back.
This would apply if his reason for cheating in the first instance was due to dissatisfaction in the bedroom.
This, of course, doesn’t rule out the fact that he is wrong to cheat; however, his motivation for stepping out of the marriage might be what is keeping him with his side piece.
If this motivation is physical intimacy and he is now addicted to what his mistress makes him feel, he may not care about the exposure.
This is one reason a married man would keep a mistress after being caught by his wife.
2. He loves the adventure and excitement of having an affair
As a follow-up to point one, some men step out because they enjoy the thrill and novelty of playing double cop.
I once listened to an interview where a man defended cheating by saying, “Variety is the spice of life.”
You’d be surprised that this is the same mindset some married men who cheat have, too.
In the event of being caught, he may continue with his mistress because he can’t imagine being stuck to one woman for the rest of his life anymore.
These kinds of men lack the understanding of commitment and faithfulness.
Even if their way of reason doesn’t make much sense to you, they’d stand by it.
“Never put your eggs in one basket,” they’d say.
This is why their wife catching them won’t deter them from cheating.
Their minds are made up, and they won’t let go of the adventure the affair gives them.
3. The marriage is faulty
Balancing on one wheel is one of the hardest things to do.
How do you balance what is not well-balanced to start with?
Okay, let’s bring this home.
One of the features of marriage that keeps it balanced is the system of accountability in it.
The husband is accountable to the wife and vice versa.
This is why no well-thinking man in a healthy marital relationship will cheat boldly with his wife’s knowledge.
But what if the foundation of the marriage was faulty to start with?
What if the marriage is contractual or one-sided?
This may explain why the man would continue with his mistress after his wife catches him cheating.
4. Hot revenge
When a married man is caught cheating by his wife, it should produce reactions of shame, remorse, and guilt ideally.
However, if the man is out to hurt his wife by cheating on her, her finding out might not deter him.
This would only propel him to add salt to her injury.
His goal is to hurt her really bad, so yes, he would keep his mistress.
He may even flaunt her before his wife to break her heart further.
This is a very intentional and wicked act.
5. It is too complicated
I found knitting to be cute until the threads got tangled up one day, and I realized I didn’t have as much patience for it.
Like those entangled threads, affairs can get complicated with time; the more complicated they become, the harder it is to let go.
One reason a married man may keep a mistress after being caught cheating by his wife is that his extramarital affair has gotten too complicated.
A good instance is if he has a child or children with the mistress.
We will all agree that children have a way of changing relationships.
Perhaps what started as a fling has now birthed fruits, and the once dispensable side chick has now risen to the status of baby mama.
This complicates it because the child or children will always bring them together.
This may be why he continues cheating even though his wife knows.
6. His wife enables him
While growing up, there was a man in the area who cheated brazenly on his wife.
It was common knowledge that he had different ladies he brought home to sleep with.
Everyone in the community knew except his wife, or so we thought.
So, one day, he drove in with one of his mistresses, and half an hour later, his wife walked to the house and let herself in with her key.
We thought all hell would break loose that day, but no.
She quietly came out and left.
She knew he was cheating and caught him, but she resorted to begging him to keep the affairs outside and not bring the ladies home.
I know your eyes are bulging in disbelief already, but this is the case with some women.
Yes, they catch their husband cheating, but their reactions become a weapon for him to use against them.
Some believe that all men are cheats, and so they are unfazed when they catch their husbands cheating.
This is sad.
Some men cheat with audacity even though their wives are aware because they know their wives will do nothing about it.
They feel indispensable in the relationship and that they are the life wire of the woman’s life.
Unfortunately, cultural and religious beliefs, particularly in regions like Africa, power this narrative as most women are second-class citizens in their own homes.
7. He doesn’t respect his wife
A man who has no respect for his wife or their marriage will keep a mistress even after being caught cheating by the wife.
It is a total disregard for the union and his wife for a man to cheat to start with.
Then, continuing the affair shows that he has zero respect for her.
This may be due to unresolved issues or a revelation of his state of mind.
He is shameless and gives no hoot about his wife’s feelings because he doesn’t honor her as his wife.
Men who physically abuse their wives or subjugate them are “sitting pretty on this table.”
8. He’s a playboy
Another reason a married man would keep a mistress after his wife catches him cheating is that he is a playboy.
What do they say about leopards not changing their spots?
Since “old habits die hard,” he may decide to continue with his mistress even though his wife now knows his secret.
In fact, his wife knowing may make him feel more comfortable about his philandering, seeing he doesn’t need to hide as much again.
The bottom line is that he is keeping a mistress boldly without fear of what his wife will do because he’s a playboy.