We get into relationships with and eventually get married to our partners because we love and care about them, amongst other reasons.
As such, we’re invested in their success and growth and will do anything within our power to contribute to their success story.
However, some of the things we do sometimes might have the exact opposite effect from what we intend.
What that means is that some of our actions might be holding our partners back and hindering their growth and success.
Sometimes, you may not even be aware of the effect of your actions, except when the person on the receiving end speaks up.
As a woman, there are certain things you’ll do, and your husband will think that you’re holding him back in life.
He might not tell you because he doesn’t know how to present it without hurting you, but your actions are hurting him more.
This article aims to show you signs your husband thinks you’re holding him back in life.
If he’s not being vocal about it, at least, you can notice some of his actions and body language that suggest so.
5 Signs Your Husband Thinks You’re Holding Him Back In Life
1. He’s pained that you tied him down
One of the signs your husband thinks you’re holding him back in life is that he’s angry at you for tying him down, perhaps with pregnancy.
There’s a story about a young couple who agreed not to have children in the early stages of their marriage.
They had this agreement to help them achieve some set goals in their marriage before the kids arrived.
The plan was for his wife to return to school while he took some courses that would help him advance in his career.
These things are financially demanding and time-consuming too, so they figured that pregnancy and childbirth would be put on hold for the time being until they achieve these goals.
However, the wife intentionally got pregnant before any of the plans even took root.
They were tight on finances and could only take care of one thing at a time.
They chose to keep the pregnancy, thereby incurring huge unplanned expenses of taking care of a pregnancy and subsequently, a newborn.
Apart from his wife forgoing her education, he had to put his career advancement plans on hold as well.
That singular decision of his wife to get pregnant before their planned time set him back in his career and by extension, financially.
By getting pregnant, she changed the trajectory of his life, and it wasn’t for good.
He keeps blaming her and believes that she’s holding him back in life.
2. She’s overly dependent on him
Another sign that a man thinks his wife is holding him back in life is if she’s too dependent on him.
Perhaps she has no source of income and depends on him for every single dime to survive.
Here in Africa, where black tax is prevalent, he might even be catering to her family, too.
All these responsibilities will not let him have savings, investments, or do the things he wants to do for himself.
He has no breathing space to invest in himself and have some fun.
All his income goes into taking care of his wife and children and in some cases, their extended families.
It’s always from one problem or bill to the other.
It’s exhausting and frustrating, really.
The fact that his wife has no means of livelihood and keeps taking from him without making a move to look for a way to support him is enough to make him think that she’s holding him back in life.
3. She overrules life-changing opportunities for him
A security guard in one of the houses in my neighborhood doesn’t hesitate to narrate his life story to anyone who is willing to listen.
According to him, he got a lifetime opportunity to travel out of the country in search of greener pastures at a subsidized rate.
Being a businessman at the time, he sold off his goods and some properties to raise money for his travel.
The plan was for him to travel first and find his footing before his wife and children joined him later.
At some point, his wife refused to accept the plan.
She insisted that they must travel together as a family, or no one would travel at all.
At the time, it wasn’t possible for the whole family to travel due to insufficient funds, but she remained adamant about her decision.
The man ended up not travelling and was back to square one.
According to him, it has been over five years since the incident occurred, but he’s still trying to find his bearings.
He strongly believes that he was destined to become successful outside the country, and the fact that he’s not there, courtesy of his wife, is the reason he hasn’t broken even.
To him, his wife is holding him back in life because of her refusal to let him travel first.
4. She over-burdens him
A man can think that his wife is holding him back in life if she’s overburdening him.
She has set goals and dreams, and he’s helping her achieve them, which is the right thing for spouses to do for each other.
However, she’s not returning the energy to him.
She’s not there whenever he needs her and doesn’t support him in any way.
It’s more like she has nothing to offer him.
Let me paint the picture of a man whose child needed urgent medical care.
He had to borrow money for his child’s medical treatment as he didn’t have the complete money at the time.
However, he got to find out much later that his wife could afford the amount needed for their son’s medical care, and even more, she sat around and did nothing when their son was almost dying.
The fact that she had such a huge sum of money lying around in her savings account, coupled with some investments that her husband knew nothing about, was a huge shock to him.
He kept lamenting about the sacrifices he makes for the family and how everything he does is for her and the kids.
Despite trying his best to make her happy, she couldn’t help lighten the burden for him.
It’s more like a parasitic relationship where the woman keeps taking but never gives to her husband.
Even if it’s not financially, let her be his shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough.
In this case, if the man thinks that his wife is holding him back in life, he’s not wrong.
5. He’s always cleaning up after her
Another sign that a man thinks his wife is holding him back in life is that he’s always cleaning up after her.
Let’s say that she has addictions such as gambling and doing hard drugs.
Her husband is the one spending heavily on rehab, getting her clean, and paying off her accumulated debts that don’t seem to ever end.
He’s always mapping out a significant percentage of his income to pay her debts.
If she had self-discipline, they wouldn’t be at the point where he would channel money that should be used for better things into clearing her debts and cleaning up after her.
Her lifestyle is holding him back in life.