Habits are so powerful.
They can either make or break a person.
The “funny” thing about habits is that they are not overnight acquisitions.
Habits begin as insignificant things that we do and soon become something more concrete and visible over time.
In a similar fashion, people don’t just wake up and decide to cheat on their partners.
Infidelity usually occurs as a result of a consistent buildup of thoughts, desires, and activities that fan the flames of desire till it becomes a raging inferno that can’t be extinguished.
There are a number of reasons why couples cheat.
However, some of the most common ones involve habits that cause a reduction in communication between the two partners.
When partners cannot communicate with each other as freely as they used to, this may be the beginning of an ever-widening gulf between them.
As always, my job is to help you diagnose the signs in your relationship and take steps to extinguish that “flame before it becomes a raging inferno.”
Whether you are married or single, this will help you in the future..
Here are some of the habits you need to watch out for if you want to stay faithful to your spouse.
THESE HABITS WILL MAKE YOU CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER
1. Lack of communication
In any relationship, communication is key to building long-lasting bonds.
This is even more important when you are in a romantic relationship.
Failing to express your thoughts and emotions in a relationship will cause a buildup of negative energy.
You may feel like talking is not a big deal, but what bottled-up emotions does in a relationship is breed resentment.
This is the reason why some couples are always defensive in conversation.
Too many bottled-up emotions running interference with what should otherwise have been a seamless communication experience between two people in love.
Humans are created to desire and cherish good communication with loved ones, and when starved of it, they may resort to other alternatives to satisfy this need.
Couples must be observant to pick out the slightest hint of reduced communication and sort it out before it becomes a big issue.
2. Addiction to social media
Social media is one of the greatest innovations ever, connecting the world and making it one big global village.
Numerous opportunities abound on social media.
Helpful connections can be made.
You could even meet your spouse on social media.
I met mine there.
But like every good thing, it can become addictive and harmful especially when applied in the wrong way.
This is probably one of the reasons divorce rate keeps increasing.
Couples are too busy scrolling through Instagram, retweeting on Twitter, reacting on Facebook, and viewing WhatsApp statuses to connect with their partners.
The newest additions of short video reels seem to be the most addictive of all.
Apart from occupying a great chunk of your time, watching glowing videos about other people’s lives and relationships may leave you discontent with yours.
It’s a trap, don’t fall for it!
No one posts their worst pictures on social media.
Everyone wants to post their best versions on social media and make it look like their usual situation.
Apart from this, social media can be a means to communicate with potential infidelity partners.
If you feel like you are already straying, perhaps you need to go on a social media retreat and spend time with your partner.
3. Being secretive about finances
Money is a big deal in a relationship.
It can be one of the biggest issues you will have in a relationship, especially if you don’t go about it the right way.
Financial transparency between couples is the best motto.
Transparency will engender trust and not give room for habits that may facilitate cheating.
It is the most terrible idea to hide money or purchases from your partner.
If you find it hard to be open with your partner concerning your finances, you may be on the verge of engaging in even more secretive activities.
It doesn’t exactly mean that you will end up being a cheat.
What it means is that the relationship already has communication issues, and that’s a great sign of a relationship that is headed for the rocks.
4. Deliberately omitting information
In a relationship, total transparency is the key to making things work.
This may involve complete disclosure of activities and happenings around you to your spouse, even when you may have done something wrong.
This fosters trust in the relationship and builds the connection between both partners.
A major red flag that you have to be cautious of is when you begin to omit information intentionally.
It’s a different issue if you actually forgot.
But when you begin to omit important information like her “best friend trying to flirt with you” or “his brother making advances at you,” you may be getting really close to cheating on your partner.
The information could be something as innocent as “a lunch date with an attractive coworker” or “a surprising message from an ex.”
When you begin to feel comfortable keeping these sorts of secrets to yourself, you may end up being embroiled in acts you never envisaged.
Couples should make it a goal to be transparent with each other, even if it means telling the hurtful truth or admitting the beginning of attraction to someone else.
This will save you a lot of future heartache in your relationship.
5. Dishonesty
If you can’t be honest with your spouse, who can you ever be totally honest with?
You didn’t just tell a “white lie”; you were dishonest with someone you love, and it really may be just a building block to more irredeemable acts.
So, if you find that lying comes very easily to you.
If you realize that “white lies” have become your “lingua franca” in your relationship, you must take steps to change your ways.
If you were caught up in the office discussing with a coworker and got home late for dinner, tell your partner the exact reason why you did that.
You may be in the doghouse for a while, but you will be forever grateful that you built the habit of being honest with your partner.
6. Always complaining about your partner
Expressing your emotions is good, and it is very advisable to keep disgruntled feelings away.
However, how you do it and who you complain to also matters.
Do you complain to your friends about your partner all the time?
Are your friends in a relationship?
How successful are they in their love life?
These are the questions you must ask yourself before approaching someone for advice about your relationship with your partner.
You should also note that these sessions should be meant for seeking advice, not complaining about your partner.
The moment you always find a reason to complain about your partner, you must realize that there is a need for introspection.
Perhaps the problem is you and not even your partner.
Complaints are generated from a place of dissatisfaction.
If you find yourself always dissatisfied with your partner, you might begin to find satisfaction in someone else outside your relationship.
To avoid this, communicate your displeasure with your partner and work together to improve in that area.
7. Nursing sexual fantasies for others
It is inevitable to go through life and not meet someone you will consider attractive other than your partner.
Love, relationship, or marriage is a decision to be dedicated to your partner despite the allure that others may possess.
This doesn’t mean you won’t meet people who would somehow test your resolve to be dedicated, either intentionally or unintentionally.
However, it is your responsibility to deal with it.
Having consistent sexual fantasies about someone other than your partner is a bad habit that may set you up for a journey into infidelity.
Be honest with yourself when you see someone you find attractive, and deliberately set boundaries to your relationship with that person and to also what your mind is allowed to imagine.
This will help you keep your resolve to love and cherish your partner.
8. Your friends are unfaithful to their partners
Having friends who are unfaithful to their partners may make you feel like it’s okay to do the same.
It’s not, and it’s dangerous for your relationship.
Focus on creating and maintaining relationships with friends who are committed to their partners and who will be honest with you if they do have moments of temptation.
This can help remind you that being faithful in your own relationship is a priority.
In conclusion, it is important to note that exhibiting these habits doesn’t mean cheating on your partner is inevitable.
It just means that doing them habitually makes you more vulnerable to cheating.
If you notice that you or your partner is exhibiting any of these habits, it is your prerogative to work together to make things work through honest communication.