It is sheer joy when your talking-stage relationship moves to an actual relationship and then metamorphoses into a long-term commitment.
Yet, I’ve also encountered individuals who find themselves in not progressing relationships.
If you’re in this situation, it’s completely understandable that you’re seeking reassurance about your partner’s readiness for a long-term commitment.
Even if this doesn’t apply to you, it is safer to know the signs that you are not wasting your time with that guy and he is ready for a long-term commitment.
I have collated a list of eight things guys do to show they are ready for a long-term commitment.
8 Things Guys Do To Show They Are Ready For A Long-term Commitment
1. They become more serious about the relationship
When the tides in a relationship change, the signs will surely be there, just as the sky always shows signs that it is about to rain.
One way guys show they are ready for a long-term commitment is by becoming more serious about the relationship.
If the guy used to give off the vibes of being in a casual, not-too-serious relationship, he would start taking the lead more.
You may find that he makes more effort to communicate and is more emotionally vested in the relationship.
In some cases, the man may begin to make financial investment on the woman e.g. supporting her education or business venture.
This is not to say that men should necessarily be financially responsible for the woman they love.
In many cases when a man is thinking long term, he may show it by making financial investments he wouldn’t have made ordinarily.
I have stories of people who bought lands or built houses together.
Some explored doing business together because they are now thinking of a long-term commitment.
Also, if it is a long-distance relationship, he may start visiting you more often even if he is in a different city or country.
A very good example is my friend, whose beau moved to the FCT from Lagos, Nigeria, just because of her.
This is a big sign that your guy is not just in the moment with you but is ready to build a future with you.
2. They ask to meet your family
From where I am from in Africa once your family gets very involved, things have become serious and it is no longer just a relationship but a long term commitment is in view.
One of the things guys do to show they are ready for a long term commitment is that they ask to meet your parents.
When a guy gets to the point of wanting to meet your family, he is no longer testing the waters or playing but is starting to consider doing life with you.
However, meeting your family doesn’t automatically mean he will marry you but it is a step in that direction.
By asking to meet your family the guy is trying to know where you are from and make a connection with your roots too.
3. They ask for your hand
Ghenghen! (Action soundtrack).
“Will you marry me?” may be considered to be a romantic question when your dream guy is asking on one kneel with loving expectation in his eyes.
How true!
Well, one of the things guys do to show they are ready for a long term commitment is that they ask for your hand in marriage.
His proposal says it all!
He sees and wants you in his future and has gone the extra mile to seal it!
Congratulations.
4. They introduce you to their family
Marriage is essentially between two individuals, but these individuals come from a family, which is also an important part of the equation.
Not many girlfriends get to meet their boyfriends’ families, and many guys like to keep that part low-key just in case the relationship doesn’t work.
A major sign that the tides have changed in your relationship is that your guy moves from those solo dates with you, to introducing you to friends and then his family.
The family getting to meet you is a clear sign that your guy is no longer casual about your relationship.
He wants something more.
5. They share more with you
Most guys are said to be more locked in than ladies.
Maybe this is because of societal constructs and gender differences.
However, when your guy becomes more open and shares more with you in the relationship, then know that a shift has happen.
This could look like him sharing and trusting you more with his past.
It could also look like him being vulnerable with you about happenings in his life.
Once the shield of Iron Man that most men typically don comes off and he is unabashedly willing to let you in, it is a sign that he is ready for a long-term commitment.
6. They plan the future with you
Most people like to focus on the now because it is still within their control range.
But one thing guys do to show they are ready for a long term commitment is that they start planning for the future.
They do not only plan for the future, they plan it with you.
You may find that he is initiating more strategic and futuristic conversations, listening to your opinions, sharing and engaging you.
This is a visioning process, where he wants to align both your visions for the future and a very good sign that he is ready for a committed relationship.
The conversations at this level will go beyond the number of children you desire to have to family values, finances, and other important conversations couples should have before marriage.
The decisions and compromises reached at this stage may serve as a foundation for the imminent future.
7. Their actions are consistent
A quick disclaimer… if your guy does all the above but his actions are inconsistent, then he is only playing on your emotions.
And trust me there are several jerks out there who toy with women in such manner.
Someone shared how a guy who liked her asked for her hand, and they started a relationship, only for him to start acting dodgy weeks later.
In the few weeks of them dating, he had met some of her family members physically and introduced her to some of his.
He had also shared his dreams for the future, making plans with her for a future that was never to be.
Can you imagine her hurt?
Well that’s why Nigerians on the street always say “Shine your eyes!”
This is solid advice and that is why I am sharing this point.
His actions have to correspond!
A guy who is ready for a long term commitment will be consistent in his actions towards… and this helps you trust the sincerity of his intentions.
Girl, if his actions don’t match his words or he is inconsistent some time, then best believe that he may just be stringing you along.
The commitment of marriage means that he is faithful to you forever.
If the guy you are dating still has his eyes outside then babe, even if he asks for your hand with a diamond the size of the moon, he isn’t ready for a long term commitment!
Similarly, if today he is acting proper then pulls a disappearing act on you for three days, even if his entire family calls you “our wife” beware!
Also look out for guys who try to act like they are in it for the long haul just to get you to lose your guard with them and perhaps let them have sex with you.
In a nutshell, I am simply saying… SHINE YOUR EYES!
8. They visibly work on being better men
One sign we often overlook is that when a man starts thinking about a lifetime commitment to a woman, he start preparing for it.
This is because he needs to do a lot of work to prepare for the next phase.
Even though marriage doesn’t come with a manual—and even if it did, no two marriages are the same—the character and personality of the persons involved have a huge role to play in its success or failure.
What I mean is that if your guy is ready for a long term commitment you will see him making visible efforts to be a better man.
This may manifest in his interest in books on marriage or you may find that he now attends conferences on building strong families.
These interests will also play out in his associations and the things he is listening to
He will also start looking into character traits he needs to work on and start making adjustment.
However if your guy is doing all the other things but doesn’t have a good attitude or treats you like trash, then….RUN!
Even though it is very important to know the signs that your guy is ready for a long term commitment, it is more important to be clear on what you want.
You need clarity about the kind of future you desire and the values on which you will build your life, marriage, and family.
After all, two cannot walk except they agree!