A long-distance relationship is any romantic relationship that spans large distances.
Long-distance relationships can be challenging, but they can also be rewarding and fulfilling.
Sometimes, relationships can’t succeed when there’s too much space between people.
You have a gut feeling that the relationship isn’t right for either of you anymore, but neither of you wants to say it out loud because that would mean admitting your relationship is over.
You don’t get to see your partner as often as you’d like, and most times, those phone calls just aren’t enough.
While it’s normal for long-distance relationships to go through phases where you feel lonely or bored, there comes the point when you should start asking yourself if the relationship is worth fighting for or if it’s time to let go.
Here are some of the signs that you should let go of your long-distance relationship:
When To Let Go Of A Long-Distance Relationship
1. You lack intimacy in the relationship
Intimacy is important to a successful long-distance relationship because it helps strengthen the connection between two people who aren’t physically together.
When intimacy is lacking, it’s a sign of trouble in paradise and maybe a sign to move on before things get worse.
It’s so easy to grow apart and drift into separate worlds when you’re not physically together.
You may find yourself texting all day with your partner, but when they finally call, you don’t have anything new to say.
If a couple is in love and wants to be together, then distance doesn’t matter.
But if there’s no sense of closeness, then there’s trouble.
The lack of intimacy can lead to resentment and hurt feelings, eventually damaging your relationship if nothing is done.
2. You begin to resent your partner
Long-distance relationships require a lot of work and commitment.
While they can be rewarding, they can also be challenging and lead to resentment.
Resentment can arise due to unresolved issues or unfulfilled expectations.
Also, it takes skilled and effective communication to resolve conflict well in the context of a long-distance relationship.
When the parties involved are poorly communicating, matters will get swept under the carpet, leading to resentment.
Such resentment is subtle and a ticking timebomb- it’s only a matter of time.
Suppose you find yourself resenting your partner because they cannot be with you all the time or unresolved issues.
In that case, it’s time to reconsider things before they get too severe and completely ruin the relationship.
3. You feel lonely or depressed
If you feel lonely or depressed because you don’t see your partner regularly, then it’s time for you to take action before things get too serious and everything falls apart.
This is one of the major challenges of a long-distance relationship.
The loneliness hits hard, and depression can set in if not well managed.
You should try getting out more often to occupy your mind with other things besides thinking about how much you miss your partner.
4. You’ve started to think about other people
Long-distance relationships are complex because there’s usually something missing: physical closeness or emotional intimacy.
No wonder people say, “Out of sight is out of mind.”
Some people start fantasizing about being with someone else to cope with these feelings of loneliness, even if it’s just for fun.
From fantasy, you may find that you are getting attracted to someone else.
If this has happened in any way, it might be time for both partners to fall apart and find other people to be with instead of letting things drag on indefinitely.
5. The distance is causing problems in other aspects of your life
If being apart is causing stress at work or school, consider that maybe this isn’t the right time for a long-distance relationship after all.
You feel like you’re missing out on something important by staying in the relationship.
And it is making you unproductive in the other aspects of your life.
A good example is nurturing a long-distance relationship during hot academic pursuits and career growth.
Depending on how demanding the season is, you may find that the relationship begins to feel like a third leg, especially as your hands are full.
If you are not careful in trying to hold everything down, you may end up with severe challenges in your academics and career because you are trying to please your partner.
For instance, imagine missing a defining assessment at school because you traveled to connect with your partner.
If the relationship is beginning to affect the other aspects of your life, consider letting go.
This can, however, be managed differently if you are willing to put in the work and create a good balance.
6. You Can’t See A Future With Your Partner
One of the main reasons people break up with their long-distance partners is because they can’t see a future with them.
They either know they don’t want to spend the rest of their lives with them, or they don’t think they’ll ever move close enough for things to work out between them.
It may be time to let go if this sounds like your situation.
After all, two cannot walk together except they agree.
7. You don’t talk often enough
Long distance relationships require communication, lots of communication.
You don’t see each other every day, so there’s plenty of time for thoughtful conversations and meaningful interactions.
If you’re not talking often enough, this could indicate that your relationship isn’t going well anymore or that it was never great.
Especially if this was not the case in past times.
If this is a new development, you should ask your partner what the issue is, and if it persists without a reasonable reason, then it is a red flag.
If you’re not spending enough time together and communicating regularly, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
8. You don’t see each other very often
To be honest, long-distance relationships have a lot of challenges.
There are too many obstacles preventing you from seeing each other regularly, such as conflicting schedules, financial constraints, and work or school obligations.
If the distance is too great or there are no plans to move closer, your relationship may never progress beyond this stage.
While it may be possible to overcome those obstacles, it’s not always worth it.
If you go weeks or months and even years without seeing each other, then there may not be any reason to continue the relationship.
You need more time together to keep your feelings strong and exciting.
A long-distance relationship isn’t for everyone, as it is hard to manage.
Throw in a busy schedule, and things can get even more challenging.
If too many obstacles prevent you from seeing each other regularly, your relationship will likely not go anywhere.
You need to make all sorts of arrangements just so that you can see each other.
If there isn’t much delight in these arrangements and they feel like more trouble than they’re worth, then it might be time to visit the drawing board.
9. You don’t enjoy each other’s company anymore
You have a gut feeling that the relationship isn’t right for either of you anymore, but neither of you wants to say it out loud because that would mean admitting your relationship is over.
A relationship is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.
If you used to enjoy each other’s company, but things changed, and now you are only managing to converse, then it is a red flag.
If you’ve tried everything possible and nothing has worked, then it’s time to let go.
10. You aren’t getting along well
If one of you is unhappy, it’s easy for that unhappiness to grow if neither person tries to improve things between them.
You might have noticed that you are always disagreeing and quarreling.
By the way, disagreements or misunderstandings are not wrong in themselves, as they are platforms to build understanding.
However, if the atmosphere of your relationship has changed from peaceful to a Tom and Jerry kind and you are always at loggerheads, then you should rethink it.
If the differences can’t be amicably sorted and compromises made, it might be better to break up before things worsen.
11. Your values no longer align
Change is the only constant thing in life.
As we grow, we evolve and become, and even though relationships are romantically inclined, our values tend to guide compatibility.
If your partner’s values have shifted or you are no longer on the same page, you need to pause and think.
Unfortunately, we can’t separate our values from what we do and who we are.
If the change is significant enough to affect your relationship and you can’t deal with it, it might be time to take a walk.
Holding on to a relationship with significantly differing values is a recipe for frustration.
12. Your partner cheats on you
The bedrock of every relationship is trust.
The trust factor is much more paramount in a long-distance relationship.
However, when your partner breaks your trust and cheats on you, there might be nothing left to salvage the relationship.
Final Words
A long-distance relationship can be complicated, but it’s not impossible.
The key is understanding that it’s a process and giving yourself time to adjust.
Remember that all relationships have ups and downs, even long-distance ones.
If you want it to work, then it will.
Long-distance relationships can be lonely for both people.
In a long-distance relationship, you feel you’re missing out on many things: your partner’s life, family, friends, and interests.
You can enjoy your time together and still keep your relationship strong.
You might have to work harder at it, but if you both want it, it will be worth it.
But there comes a time when it becomes clear that being in a long-distance relationship isn’t worth the cost.
Be honest about what you’re willing to give up for this person and what you’re not ready to compromise on.
You’ll need this later when deciding whether to stay in the relationship.
Relationships are all about compromise, but it’s time to move on if it isn’t working out.