Have you been worried and asked yourself, “Why do I always attract cheaters?”
If you’re seeking answers for this problem that seems to have become a trend, you’re in the right place.
It may be happening to you, and you’re wondering how unfair life has been to you when it comes to dating faithful people.
You may be wondering why people date those who cheat on them, and you’re not alone on this one.
After all, no one invests their time, energy and resources in looking for their perfect romantic match with the hopes of being cheated on someday.
Do you feel that your attracting cheaters to yourself is a kind of jinx?
I come bearing great news for you.
People who are regularly cheated on usually possess similar qualities.
I will share some of the reasons cheaters are drawn to you in this article.
Keep reading.
6 Reasons You Always Attract Cheaters
1. You don’t have proper relationship boundaries
One of the primary reasons you always attract cheaters is that you do not create proper boundaries at the beginning of your relationship to help protect yourself from being taken advantage of.
The boundaries I’m talking about are little, simple things that are usually overlooked but actually matter.
Setting clear boundaries between both of you will do these things for you. It’ll help you know the kind of person you’re dating and protect you from being taken advantage of.
2. You’re scared of being alone
Do you jump from one partner to another because you don’t want to be alone?
You’re inviting cheaters into your life because just like butterflies are drawn to flowers, cheaters are drawn to loneliness and insecurity.
You need to develop a thick skin and learn to be comfortable with yourself.
A healthy sense of self is important in building lasting and meaningful relationships.
You have to be whole first.
Do not see being in a relationship as a matter of urgency; this cannot be overemphasized.
You need to know that one of the first steps towards getting into a successful relationship as a single is loving yourself thoroughly before looking for someone who will love you.
In the process of loving and taking care of yourself, you’ll set specific standards that you don’t expect your potential partner to fall short on.
3. You can’t identify ‘good’ when you see it
Perhaps you came from a dysfunctional or broken home and were not opportune to see healthy relationships and know what a ‘good’ relationship-wise.
But even if you didn’t have a loving and peaceful home while growing up, there are a lot of great relationships around that you can emulate.
As humans, we see the good and the bad, and it’s up to us to choose which ones we want to copy.
So, if you feel that you’ve been attracting cheaters, maybe, you’ve not been paying attention to what you truly want.
Before now, anyone could date you, and anything goes.
But not anymore.
You should be on the lookout for healthy and successful relationships, study their patterns, and ask questions if you can.
Doing these will give you a clearer picture of what ‘good’ means in a relationship.
Relationships are meant to be enjoyed and not endured.
Armed with this knowledge, you’ll make wiser and more thoughtful decisions when it’s related to your love life.
4. You give more than you receive in relationships
Although being a giver is a good trait, when it comes to serious relationships, you won’t get someone to love you more by giving more.
Even if you empty yourself, it won’t change how someone feels about you.
And it’s always bad if you’re doing more or all of the giving.
Cheating won’t be a big deal for someone who takes more than they give.
You’ve already seen how selfish they can be through their giving abilities.
All they want to do is take.
For a relationship to be successful, there has to be a balance between the ‘give and take’ ratio.
5. You keep saying that the next relationship will be different
Albert Einstein said, “The definition of ‘insanity’ is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
You’re not insane, but you should know that this vicious cycle of attracting and dating cheaters should mean something.
Firstly, you’ve not learnt anything from your previous mistakes.
Secondly, you’ve not done anything that’ll help you detect and eliminate cheaters from your life subsequently and accept only genuine people.
One of the most important things to do to get different results in your future relationship is to change your approach towards love.
Break through the limits and impossibilities you’ve surrounded your mind with.
Open yourself up to positive things and possibilities.
Only then will you see a positive change in your relationship.
6. You fall in love too quickly
Do you usually fall in love too quickly?
It could be why cheaters can’t seem to stay away from you.
Have you ever heard the saying — “You need to slow things down to speed things up.”?
It means that you need to take things slowly in the early stages of a relationship to reap the fruits of being in love when the love blossoms.
When you jump into a relationship and fall in love the next minute, it’s just like getting into a car and speeding off immediately without looking out for traffic signs.
At every point in relationships, there are always red or green flags to encourage or dissuade you from going on.
But how will you notice them if you’re already head over heels in love from the get-go.
Even if you were observant enough to see some red flags, you told yourself that they’d change.
Well, did they?
You must take one step at a time in the early stages of your relationship.
When the red flags unfold, which are your deal breakers, it’ll be easier to walk away if you’re still thinking with your head.
How To Be Free From Cheaters
Although there are no sure ways that you can make cheaters stay away from you in your search for an ideal romantic relationship, there are indeed ways that you can make yourself unattractive and unavailable to them.
The first thing to note is to be true to yourself.
Love yourself and heal from all past trauma.
Take yourself seriously and love without blindfolds.
Set boundaries for every relationship and uphold them.
Conclusion
Although there’s no excuse for cheating, that doesn’t mean you should be stuck in a vicious cycle of dating cheaters.
You deserve to be loved genuinely and beautifully.
Everyone needs to experience that type of love at least once in their lifetime.
So, if you want to stop attracting cheaters or get them off your back, the list above has shown you some of what you’ve been doing wrong.
From now on, I hope you start meeting sincere people and experience the beauty and joys of true love.