“Why do I attract lazy guys?”
Have you noticed this strange cycle in your life?
When you meet a new guy, his confidence is over the roof, and he’s so friendly, witty, charismatic, and charming.
Let’s just call him a total package.
But you find out after the first few dates that he’s between jobs.
He’s unemployed, trying to figure his life out, or being a helper to his mother at home by living with her for the time being.
Rinse and repeat for every man you meet.
The picture is clear – these men don’t have any sources of income, and they always have an excuse to back it up.
Looking back, you’ll notice that you attract only these types of men who are out of jobs and not ready to do anything about it.
It has become a pattern for you to attract lazy guys.
I mean, a few is acceptable, but always?
Then, something is wrong somewhere.
Let’s take a look at possible reasons you attract lazy guys.
“Why Do I Attract Lazy Guys?” – 9 Possible Reasons
1. You’re unemployed and lazy
One of the reasons you attract lazy guys is because you’re lazy and unemployed, too.
As they say, “like minds attract each other.”
It’s possible the fact that you’re unemployed scares hardworking men away.
They also don’t want you to live off them.
You might find that these sets of guys are mainly attracted to women who have some drive and seem to have their lives together.
What it means for you is that you’re left with only the lazy, unemployed guys.
Perhaps it’s time to get a job and get your life together before thinking of getting into a relationship.
Who knows?
This might change the game totally for you.
2. You don’t ask guys their occupations early enough
When you meet guys, you don’t expressly ask them what they do for a living.
You don’t want it to look like you’re after his status or money, so you don’t ask him what he does.
While I think I understand your reason, you’re overcompensating them.
In addition, the traditional question, “So, what do you do?” can seem tedious.
In reality, it has never made anyone reveal so much about themselves.
Notwithstanding, you need to ask because if you don’t, you can date a guy for some time before you find out that he doesn’t have a means of livelihood.
3. You’re charmed easily
You’re a lover of wit and good jokes.
You’re all about associating with confident, charismatic, and charming people.
You’re gone once you meet a guy who can make you laugh without much effort.
But the problem is that most times, lazy guys build up their sense of humor and confidence.
They use their audacious confidence and sense of humor to compensate for their laziness.
Your easily trusting nature might be the reason you keep attracting jobless guys.
4. You’re a good listener
Lazy guys are usually needy.
They’re almost always feeling insecure and need someone to massage their egos.
They need someone who will listen to their tales of woes about why life isn’t working for them.
You attract lazy guys because you’re a good listener and can entertain their tales.
A lazy guy needs all the attention in a relationship, and you are good at giving attention.
5. You can’t say no
You attract lazy guys because you’re too sweet to say no to them.
You don’t want to look like a gold digger, and that’s why you can’t turn a guy down even when he’s clearly lazy and can’t fend for himself.
You should know you’re not doing him any good by dating him.
You’re only encouraging and enabling his lifestyle.
If he can get a girlfriend with his laziness, why should he be hardworking and serious with his life?
6. You want to feel needed
You are used to being a mother hen for people, and you also assume this posture in your relationship.
You may also like project guys because you always try to fix them.
You’re very desperate to feel needed.
Another possibility is that you are Miss Independent, and there’s something in you that loves when people fend off you.
This usually stems from a place of unhealed brokenness.
Perhaps that’s why lazy guys are drawn to you.
7. You like being in charge in your relationship
You probably attract lazy guys because you like being in charge of your relationship.
You like being the powerful one who always calls the shots.
You love being around people who you can order around and who will always do whatever you say.
Well, guess what?
Lazy guys don’t care.
They are always available to do your bidding, provided you give them whatever they need.
8. You have abandonment issues
You’re probably scared of being abandoned, and that’s why you attract lazy guys.
You’re afraid of being rejected by a loved one.
So, you decide to settle for the barest minimum – a guy who has nothing to lose.
As they say, “He who is down fears no fall.”
If you’re usually worried about your partner leaving you, you may settle for a lazy guy.
He’ll stick with you because he knows most women won’t want to date someone like him.
That sort of loyalty is false.
If you must be in a relationship, let it be because you and your partner are willing to be in it and not because you have to be in it.
9. You don’t love yourself
If you attract lazy guys, it may be because you do not love yourself.
It is said that you attract whatever you believe you deserve.
The reason you lack self-love may be because of unhealed trauma or low self-esteem.
If you keep attracting lazy guys who just want to sit around all day, have no purpose, ambition, and direction in life, and live off you, it’s probably because you believe that’s all you deserve.
If you had even the tiniest amount of love for yourself, you’d have little patience for those comfortable with being stagnant and unwilling to work on improving themselves.
In all these, therapy can help you get down to the root of the issue, and with the help of a professional counselor, you can navigate your journey to a more wholesome relationship.
Conclusion
Now that you’ve seen possible reasons you attract lazy guys, it’s up to you to decide your next step.
There’s really no gain in dating a lazy guy, and there’s certainly no bright future in such an arrangement.
I hope you found this article helpful.
Please let me know in the comments.