Marriage is meant to be a lifelong journey that requires a healthy supply of love and trust to be successful.
We all crave love, respect,,,, and support from our loved ones.
In marriage, it is not just a craving; it is a necessity for ensuring the success of the marriage.
For this reason, every married couple should aspire to make their marriage a source of joy and fulfillment for each other.
With all these noble notions about marriage, can some people be classified as burdens to their partners?
This is actually a fact.
Marriage is meant to be a union where couples are expected to try to ensure their relationship is flourishing.
However, one party may not exert as much effort as the other.
What do you bring to the table?
Or should I say, “What should you not bring to the table?”
Perhaps you do not listen to your partner, or you communicate poorly.
You may be so busy that you never have time to spend with your partner.
At other times, you may be so clingy that it seems like you are your partner’s appendage.
You may even nag your partner because you want them to be better.
You may say you don’t want to be a burden to your partner, but if your actions do not prove otherwise, that’s what you are.
The first step to therapy is acknowledging you have a problem.
So many people are burdens to their partner but have refused to acknowledge this fact.
This article aims to help those who have reached this conclusion and want to be valuable to their partners.
How Not To Be A Burden To Your Husband: 7 Ways To Be A Valuable Wife
Being a valuable wife is not something you wish for.
You work at it, applying efforts to prove yourself valuable to your husband.
While working at being valuable to your husband is a good thing, you must examine your motives for wanting to do this.
Do you want to do this because you feel insecure or to make it look like you are doing more than your husband in the relationship?
You should do this because you want to improve the quality of your relationship, not for your husband’s sake alone but for yourself, too.
When couples work at being valuable to each other in their relationship, it saves them much hurt and pain.
Here are seven ways to be a valuable wife to your husband;
1. Practice effective communication
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage.
Lack of effective communication is one of the major causes of conflicts in marriage.
A little introspection will show couples how much of the things they squabble about can be resolved by listening and speaking at the right time.
To be a valuable wife to your husband, this is one of the most important items you should have in your toolbox.
How do you communicate effectively?
When your husband speaks, listen to him and actively put aside any form of distraction.
It is not unusual to have the urge to check your phone for messages while your husband speaks.
Many people justify this habit by saying, “Humans hear with the ears, not the eyes, and I am good at multitasking.”
If you want to be a valuable wife, it is a habit that should be discarded because when you listen to your husband fully, you can always provide a fresh perspective on things.
You could even help him make difficult decisions by being empathetic enough to listen to him.
2. Don’t lose sight of your personal growth
While marriage is a union of two people, it doesn’t translate into couples losing their unique personalities.
To be a valuable wife, you must maintain your individuality.
One of the best ways of ensuring your personal growth is your involvement in various activities and projects you are passionate about.
Doing this will ensure you have things to do without seeming clingy to your husband.
Personal growth also involves improving your sense of self-worth.
Engaging in activities and projects you are passionate about will help you boost your self-confidence.
3. Support your husband’s growth
One of the major perks of marriage is the support you get from your partner.
Even when going through tough times, it is always a relief to know that you have someone in your corner cheering you on to victory.
To be a valuable wife, you should not just focus on your personal growth.
You should also encourage and support your husband’s personal development.
You should be his fan and constant cheerleader.
Doing this will ensure you have a more fulfilled relationship than you have had.
4. Sharing his responsibilities
“Action speaks louder than words.”
It is not strange to see many women declare themselves as valuable wives, yet their actions state otherwise.
Being valuable is not just something you show in your words but in your actions.
One way to show you are a valuable wife is by sharing responsibilities with your husband.
Marriage is a joint venture, and both partners must put in all they have to ensure its success.
Collaborating with your husband to divide the house chores and financial obligations in the household will go a long way in improving your marriage.
A valuable woman doesn’t say, “My husband’s money is our money, but my money is my money.”
She looks for ways to ease the burden on her husband even without being asked.
5. Apologizing when you are wrong
A friend once told me, “In a relationship, a man must learn how to apologize to his partner for his and her offenses.”
This sounded really funny to me then.
It still is.
However, one of the ways you can be a valuable wife to your husband is by knowing when to apologize.
Pride is never good for any relationship.
If you find that you are the reason for a conflict in your marriage, it is essential that you apologize and not let your relationship deteriorate because of that.
A valuable woman actively contributes to conflict resolution in her marriage by listening and communicating effectively.
She also does this by acknowledging when she is wrong and sincerely apologizing.
6. Appreciate your husband
It is in human nature to desire appreciation after doing something great.
Men like to feel appreciated in their relationship.
It helps to ensure that they remain secure and affectionate in the relationship.
So, how do you appreciate your husband as a valuable wife?
You can thank him for the little things he does, appreciate his accomplishments, and tell him how grateful you are to be his wife.
These seemingly little acts work wonders for your relationship.
7. Express your love for him
Expressing your love for your husband is another excellent way of showing yourself as a valuable wife to him.
You can tell him you love him in words or through little thoughtful gestures like thoughtful gifts, texts, holding his hands, taking walks with him, or even ensuring that his blanket totally covers him on a cold night.
Be there for him and speak his love language.
8. Be helpful
Helping him here comes into play in different ways.
Love is an action word, and in the context of marriage, it implies service.
When you are selfish and only always seeking your needs and desires, you are only helping yourself.
However, you are helpful when you also concern yourself with his desires and needs.
Women are blessed with an eye for detail and an incredible intuition.
These innate abilities can be a plus for your husband if you exercise them and look for ways to relieve him, encourage his efficiency, and cover his blind spots.
Be that pillar of support he can’t do without.
9. Be trustworthy
Men, just like everyone else, need a safe place to unburden.
Can you become his safe place?
Can he confide in you without you using it against him?
Can he trust you with the things in his heart?
This right here is where it gets intense.
This is why many husbands hide their deepest affairs from their wives.
Men appreciate the value of women who can be confidants to them without betraying their trust.
Please note that it is okay if your relationship has not reached this level yet.
Trust is built over time, and it needs to be earned.
Start posturing yourself as trustworthy so you can give much value to your husband in this regard.
10. Trust his leadership
Men have the responsibility to give visionary leadership to their families.
Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, says a proverb.
This is true of the male gender, as many men crumble under the weight of this responsibility and the accompanying expectations.
As his wife, you can ease this burden by trusting his leadership.
You can make suggestions without criticizing or putting him down.
In fact, he would love to seek your counsel on issues because he knows he married a wise woman.
Final Words
Being a valuable wife is beneficial, as it creates trust and respect.
A valuable wife doesn’t just inspire the love of her husband.
She also inspires his respect and loyalty.
Being a valuable wife makes you his safe space, and he can always count on you.
This creates the atmosphere for a successful marriage.
Following the steps above doesn’t require you to make any life-altering changes.
However, these little steps guarantee that you will become a valuable wife, which will change the dynamics of your relationship.