10 Things Your Husband Wants More Than Sex

I know we always assume that what men want more than anything else is sex.

Hmmm… Yeah.

Men love sex.

Come on, so do women!

While men love sex, it’s a shallow perspective that men want sex above anything else.

This stereotype doesn’t fully capture the intricacies of a man’s desires.

Physical intimacy is indeed important, but there are a host of other things men deeply appreciate from their women.

Let’s check what these things are:

10 Things Your Husband Wants More Than Sex

1. Respect

Sis, ask most husbands what they desire most from their wives; it’s respect!!!

In fact, most men (including mine) complain that their wives don’t respect them enough.

It’s true that a husband longs for his wife’s respect.

Respect is crucial in any relationship, especially in marriage.

Just as a woman needs to feel loved and cherished, a man needs to feel respected and valued.

This includes respect for his opinions, decisions, and even his quirks.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t challenge him, but rather that when you do, it’s from a place of mutual respect.

For example, when discussing decisions about finances, express your opinions but also respect his perspective and seek a compromise.

2: Quality Time

Quality time is not just about being in the same place at the same time.

It’s about sharing experiences, being engaged, and connecting on a deeper level.

This could mean taking a walk together, cooking a meal, or even solving a puzzle, depending on your man’s preferences.

Quality time builds intimacy beyond the bedroom and creates shared memories that strengthen your bond.

Your husband desires this, especially if his love language is quality time.

3: Understanding

Everybody has unique experiences, thoughts, and feelings, and these form the core of our identities.

When a husband feels understood by his wife, he feels loved and accepted.

A practical way of showing understanding is by active listening, which involves hearing his concerns and responding thoughtfully.

There’s no way you can understand your husband if you don’t actively listen to him.

Every man desires a woman who just “gets him.”

Do you get your husband?

4: Emotional Support

In our society, there’s often a misconception that men should always be strong, stoic, and devoid of emotional vulnerability.

This is toxic masculinity!

Men, just like women, have a full spectrum of emotions and need a safe and supportive space to express these feelings.

Giving your man emotional support means being that safe haven for him.

It means being there for him, not only in times of physical needs but emotional ones as well.

If you don’t know how to show your husband emotional support, here are ways:

1. Empathetic Listening: This involves listening to your husband’s worries, concerns, and feelings without judgment.

You don’t always have to offer solutions. Sometimes, just being heard can be a great comfort.

2. Validation: Validation is about acknowledging his feelings and experiences.

It can be as simple as saying, “I understand why you’re upset,” or “That must have been really tough for you.”

This can help him feel understood and less alone in his experiences.

3. Encouragement: Encourage your husband during challenging times.

It could be work-related stress or personal issues.

Let him know that you believe in him and his abilities to overcome these challenges.

4. Being His Cheerleader: Celebrate his achievements and express pride in his accomplishments.

This can boost his morale and confidence.

5. Offer Comfort: During tough times, offer comfort.

It could be a hug, some comforting words, or simply your presence by his side.

Every sane man will prioritize this over the best sexual encounter!

5: Appreciation

Everyone wants to be acknowledged for their efforts, and your husband is no different.

Something as simple as a thank you for taking care of a household chore or a compliment about how he handled a difficult situation can mean the world to him.

Appreciation communicates that you notice and value his contributions, and this is a powerful motivator for continued positive behavior.

As a psychology major, I learned that saying ”thank you” is a form of positive reinforcement that increases the occurrence of positive behavior.

I’m sure you’d realize your husband does more of what you like when you appreciate him.

So, appreciate your husband more than you criticize him.

6: Independence

Independence is not about being distant or disconnected but about having the freedom to be oneself within the relationship/marriage.

This means acknowledging and respecting each other’s individual interests and hobbies.

Let’s say your husband loves cycling on the weekends or spending time with his buddies; as long as he’s not neglecting you, encouraging him to pursue this shows that you respect his individuality.

When he does his own thing, use the opportunity to do your own thing or spend time with your own friends.

This way, both of you get to enjoy a healthy space in the relationship. 

7: Intellectual Stimulation

Good conversation is an aphrodisiac for many men.

Some men even say they are sapiosexual, which means they are aroused by intellectual stimulation.

So, if your husband is sapiosexual, you’ll need to be able to engage him in stimulating conversations and interesting debates.

It’s even a great way to bond and learn more about each other. 

Ensure that the conversation doesn’t become too serious though; make it light-hearted and fun.

8: Consistency

Consistency might seem mundane, but it’s the backbone of a stable relationship.

It means keeping your word and being reliable and not being unnecessarily moody or dramatic. 

Your husband should be able to rely on you to be the same person every day, instead of having different expectations from one day to the next.

This is especially true when it comes to communication.

If your husband knows he can always count on you to respond in a certain way, it gives him reassurance and security instead of being afraid of what you might say or do.

9: Affection

Physical affection is more than sex.

It includes hugs, kisses, holding hands, or even a simple pat on the back.

These acts help convey love and connection without words, especially if his love langugae is physical touch.

Your husband needs to know that you still desire him and are attracted to him, which will help build his self-esteem.

10: Trust

Your husband wants him to trust him.

What’s the point of having the best sex if you constantly suspicious of him?

No man wants to be in a relationship where he’s constantly worried that his wife will doubt him or accuse him of things.

I get that sometimes, your husband will do things that make you question his intentions, but there should always be a baseline of trust.

Give him the benefit of the doubt until he gives you a reason not to trust him.

I know men want many different things, including sex, but even the best sex life without these ten things is not enough.

Think of sex as the icing on the cake rather than the main course.

If your marriage can have these ten things, that’s when you can enjoy the best sex life possible. 

I know you might say some men will still cheat even if you give these things and more, but that’s an irresponsible man who doesn’t value what he has.

And you know what happens to those men?

They regret it!

You just focus on playing your part and see.