Contrary to what’s portrayed in some marriages these days, marriage was not designed to be something that you get into and out of at will because the going is good or tough.
It’s a sacred covenant between two people to stay together until the end of time, through thick and thin.
I know that some factors can endanger someone’s life in a marriage and cause the person to leave to live.
However, that’s not our focus today.
Just like every other venture, you must put in effort to make your marriage work.
There are things you’ll ignore, and your marriage will take the fall for it.
You’ll notice that a home that was once happy and peaceful has turned into a war zone.
That shouldn’t be the case if you pay attention to the very vital things that help to hold a marriage together.
What are these things?
Come with me as I list and discuss them below:
If You Keep Ignoring These 6 Things Your Marriage Will Suffer
1. Effective Communication
If a couple continues to ignore the importance of effective communication in their union, their marriage will surely suffer, especially if nothing is done to salvage the situation.
We’re in a digital age where some people are addicted to their gadgets.
They’d rather type away or scroll through things on their devices than have proper conversations with each other.
But that’s not how it should be in a marriage.
Marriage requires constant effective communication for it to run smoothly.
A couple should be talking to each other, and not over each other.
It’s important to find out how your spouse’s day went, what’s up with the children, and other such things at the end of each day.
Be also ready to share details of your day with them.
Someone might also stop being open to their spouse because they bear a grudge against them.
Instead of waiting for them to come around and talk about it, the other party should make the approach instead and seek to know what the problem is and why they’re feeling aggrieved.
Let them settle their differences and continue to live in peace.
Ignoring and acting blind to each other’s feelings will always do more harm than good to a relationship.
It’s important that couples talk about everything and share their thoughts, opinions, and feelings with each other.
It’ll help them both know each other’s mood and stand at every point in the marriage.
Couples can learn to inculcate some ‘we time’ into their weekly schedule.
For instance, they can map out about two hours every weekend when it’s just both of them to spend time together without the kids, their phones, and every other distraction.
They can talk about anything and everything with each other during this time.
If they exhaust the topics to discuss, they can enjoy the silence between them.
It’s a great way for couples to bond and have a stronger, smoother, and more peaceful union.
2. Not resolving conflicts
Conflicts are inevitable in every marriage.
How a couple handles it makes all the difference.
When conflicts are left unresolved, it causes more harm than good in a marriage.
If they’re constantly glossed over and swept under the carpet without being addressed properly, it can breed feelings of resentment in one or both individuals.
When this resentment piles up to a point of overflow, it’ll result in them acting out their anger in different unsavory ways.
There are good and healthy ways to resolve conflicts between couples.
Listen to understand and not just to reply each other.
Step into the shoes of the speaker and see things from their perspective.
Don’t focus on being right because the end game is to blame the other person for being wrong.
Then, find a solution to the problem as a couple, and while working on it, have mutual respect for each other’s opinions.
3. Being intimate
Another thing that couples shouldn’t ignore in their marriage is intimacy.
Perhaps at the beginning of the marriage, the couple was always all over each other and adequately intimate both emotionally and physically.
Somehow, they stopped being intimate along the line, or the rate at which they used to be intimate reduced drastically.
It’s a sign that something is going wrong in the marriage, even without them knowing.
By intimacy, I’m not talking about just sex.
I’m referring to sex and every other activity that helps couples bond and feel attracted to each other.
They include physical touches, kisses, pecks, massages, hugs, body rubs, and spending time together.
When a couple is no longer as intimate as it used to be, they should investigate the causes and deal with the situation as soon as possible before the marriage begins to suffer.
If it’s stress-induced or as a result of lack of enough time together, they can move things around in the way things work in the marriage to reduce stress and create more room for intimacy.
4. Functioning on autopilot in the home
It’s truly not easy having to run a home and have a career at the same time.
If anyone feels like they’re running on autopilot and sees everything in the marriage as a chore, it could mostly be due to accumulated stress.
As a result, they won’t find joy in doing even the most simple things in the marriage, either alone or with their spouse.
Once this starts happening, it’s definitely time for some time off to relieve stress and reboot.
The couple can plan a vacation or staycation and enjoy some time away from the stress and hassles of life.
It doesn’t have to be big or pricey.
Just take some days off, get an intense massage, and destress generally.
Reshuffling and reassigning tasks around the home can also help to ease the feeling of monotony and make one look forward to carrying out their daily chores.
5. Arguing frequently
A marriage is bound to suffer if a couple ignores the fact that they argue frequently.
While it’s okay to argue from time to time, always engaging in fights and disagreements over little and insignificant things shows that there’s an underlying problem in the marriage.
So, what could be the real problem?
To be honest, arguing and fighting frequently can be very draining, and it’s the wrong type of energy to give off in a marriage.
It’s understandable that two people will not always agree. Still, it’s important for them to learn to listen to each other’s opinions without the mindset that their own opinions are better beforehand.
Listen to understand, and not to reply.
Communicate calmly and don’t jump to conclusions.
It might be difficult at first, but is a rewarding thing to do in the long run.
With constant practice and perseverance, the couple will learn to seek, understand, and implement each other’s opinions without any bias.
6. Having a strained relationship with the children
A marriage will likely suffer if the couple keeps ignoring spending quality time with their children.
I know that creating a feasible balance between having a career and spending good time with the family can be quite difficult.
But putting in the effort towards it regularly makes it easier.
The children shouldn’t bear the brunt of their parents’ busy schedules.
Children should be provided with a stable home where they feel safe and loved.
They deserve to be given maximum attention to and be nurtured properly if they must turn out great eventually.
So, running on autopilot around them or neglecting them totally will not cut it.
Parents need to devote some time to being with their children every day.
For instance, you can have dinner together.
Ask them how their day went and the things they learnt in school.
Read to them just before bedtime.
Show up and be there for them.
Trust me, children do not forget these things easily, and knowing that their parents are in their corner will help shape their mindset and outlook positively towards life.
Children are a significant part of a home, and treating them right contributes greatly to a marriage’s success, peace, and happiness.