Marriage is not a bed of roses, and even if it is, roses also have thorns.
Problems will arise from time to time in every marriage.
What makes the difference is the couple’s approach and mindset towards resolving the issues and being better individuals to avoid such problems from coming up again.
However, there are marriages in which problems seem to always arise from one person due to their actions or inactions.
It’s more like a trend that whenever there’s an issue, they must have caused it.
Their spouse might have even insinuated it.
Instead of seeing it as an avenue to pick a fight, they need to do some introspection to know the truth and what the problem could possibly be.
It’s a moment of truth, and I’m here to help.
I’ve put together some signs you’re the problem in your marriage.
If you want to be honest with yourself and know whether you’re truly the problem in your marriage, this piece was written just for you.
It’ll be best for you to read to the end to get all the answers you seek.
9 Signs You’re The Problem In Your Marriage
1. You hardly communicate with your spouse
Every day, we come on social media to see many people hammering on the importance of communication and how it is key to every healthy and successful relationship.
However, some people are not interested in communicating with their spouse.
They hardly do so.
Despite their spouse talking to them countless times about the need to improve on their communication skills for the good of the marriage, they don’t just see the need to communicate with their spouse.
Or could it be that they are intentionally starving their spouse of the communication they need to keep them in perpetual sadness?
I’m here to tell such a person that there’s a great need of communication between partners.
Don’t know how or where to start?
I’ll gladly be of help.
One can start by telling one’s spouse of how one’s day went at the end of every working day.
Fill them in on details such as people you met and the things you did.
Then, you need to listen to your spouse as they talk about their own day.
Share thoughts, ideas, jokes, laughter, and stuff like that.
These are the things that help a couple bond with each other in the long run.
Stop making ‘There’s nothing to talk about’ your usual or favorite thing to say when your spouse tries to strike up a conversation with you.
When you don’t communicate with your spouse, there’ll hardly be any connection between both of you.
2. You’re not open to change
Being rigid, set in your ways, and not open to change is one sign that you’re the problem in your marriage.
If a relationship and, by extension, marriage must be successful, the individuals involved must be open to change.
I know that everyone has a version of themselves that they see as good, but in a relationship, it’s important to always strive to be better.
Things and people change.
In fact, change is the only thing that is constant.
One needs to be open to change to adapt, go with the flow, and make one’s spouse happy.
3. You’re unfaithful
One of the signs you’re the problem in your marriage is being unfaithful to your spouse.
Cheating is very bad and unacceptable in any relationship, especially marriage.
I’m referring to every form of cheating – physical and emotional cheating.
A cheating partner should be aware of the trauma, anger, unhappiness, and degradation of self-esteem they’re putting their spouse through by cheating on them emotionally.
Let’s not get started on the possibility of the innocent party contracting STDs and STIs from their spouse simply because a cheat doesn’t have the self-control to keep it in their pants physically.
4. You’re never happy about their achievements
If someone is never happy about their partner’s achievements, they are likely the problem in their marriage.
They find themselves feeling jealous instead of being happy for their partner when they achieve a milestone or make significant progress.
Such a person feels unhappy and frustrated with the idea of their spouse getting all the recognition and being in the spotlight.
It might even lead them to try to downplay their achievements and make it seem like it’s not a big deal.
If it weren’t such a big deal, why couldn’t they pull it off?
If this behavior isn’t witchcraft, I don’t know what it is.
5. You shy away from conflict resolution
A person who shies away from conflict resolution with their spouse is likely the problem in the marriage.
I came across an inbox anonymous message on Facebook from a sad woman.
She was lamenting about how tired she was in her marriage and how it seemed like her husband was bent on driving her crazy.
According to her, they fought and quarreled every other day of the week, and she always made the move for peace.
Whether he was wrong or she was, she’d be the one to beg him.
You’ll think that her going to beg will pacify him.
She said that he loved keeping malice with her; they once stayed for over a month under the same roof without talking to each other.
It looked like he loves it when they fight and does everything possible to keep the conflict going.
When he’s not giving her the silent treatment, he usually resorts to calling her names and being verbally abusive towards her whenever they have arguments or fights.
6. You’re power-drunk in the marriage
Being power-drunk is one of the signs you’re the problem in your marriage.
I’ll say that it’s more peculiar to men.
Stay with me.
In situations like that, a person thinks that they’re not equals with their partner and, in fact, considers their partner to be less than them in terms of equality.
This mindset will make such a person feel that they have the upper hand and should make more or all of the decisions in the marriage.
That’s the wrong mindset right there.
Marriage is a partnership and requires teamwork to be successful.
The fact that someone’s idea or opinion is good doesn’t mean that it’ll be successful when applied to a particular scenario.
The best approach to decision-making is to weigh in on ALL opinions before deciding jointly on what to do when it concerns both parties.
7. You try to gatekeep their free time
There are people who believe that their partner should spend all their free time with them.
They don’t like it when their partner is out with friends and having fun without them being in the picture.
If they have their way, they’ll always want to have their partner all to themselves.
Such a person expects that when their partner is not working or engaged in any serious activities, their place should be by their side.
But that’s not how things are meant to be in a relationship.
Partners need to spend time apart from each other with their chosen company from time to time.
Engaging in these social interactions helps to build solid connections and relationships with other people.
Everyone needs people, and not just their partner in their lives.
A healthy relationship allows individuals to have lives outside the one they share with their spouse.
8. You don’t want your spouse to be happy
When someone is always bent on making their spouse miserable, it’s a sign that they’re likely the problem in their marriage.
Such a person will not want their spouse ever to be happy.
It’s more like they feed on and draw strength from their partner’s unhappiness.
So, they will be invested in constantly looking for ways to take away joy and peace from the life of their spouse.
For instance, they might turn off music that their spouse is singing happily and dancing to with a carefree attitude.
It can also involve one launching into a tirade of verbal abuse against one’s spouse over a matter that should have been overlooked.
9. You’re fond of telling lies
One of the signs you’re the problem in your marriage is being fond of telling lies.
For such a person, the default response or defense to any question or confrontation is to lie, even about the little, insignificant things.
Not being inclined to tell the truth, for the most part, says a lot about someone’s general behavior.
Believe me, there’s nothing flattering about being grossly dishonest.
It sends a message that someone is not trustworthy and is generally not a good person.