8 Terrible Ways Cell Phones Destroy Marriages

Cellphones… These days, they are everywhere.

Due to their functionality, they have evolved over time, and every upgrade has made them a must-have.

Look everywhere: the shopping malls, parks, restaurants, churches, schools, even at home, everyone seems so engrossed by them.

My Statistics lecturer always complains about how much the younger generation spends on their phones.

He says some are so sucked in and obsessed that they are oblivious to anything else. 

He would encourage us to read online textbooks and watch YouTube related to our course of study.

To him, this is one of the benefits of phones… the ease with which we can access study materials.

Cell phones have several other benefits.

However, they also have harmful effects on human relationships.

Do you know cell phones could destroy marriages?

Marriages naturally have several challenges, and now, we have to add cell phones to the mix because of the context of our generation and technological evolution. 

Cell phones are now the side chicks and side cocks in most homes.

In this article, we will be considering the various ways in which cell phones can destroy marriages and what to do about that cellphone addiction before it gets too late.

Come along!

8 Terrible Ways Cell Phones Destroy Marriages

1. It can breed distrust

ways cell phones destroy marriages


I got my first ever smartphone at the ripe old age of seventeen and quickly immersed myself in chatting on social media, something my mates had been doing for years already.

My mom couldn’t understand how I could sit for hours, smiling and laughing at my phone.

She sometimes asked who I was talking to because it felt weird to her.

Now, imagine you are sitting with your partner in the sitting room, trying to have meaningful conversations, but all they do is sit down and smile incessantly at their phones.

It gets to a point where you begin to wonder who is making your partner laugh this much.

Could they be cheating on you with someone else?

Especially if they seem to be texting and making video calls at odd hours of the day.

Your trust begins to wear away gradually.

The fact is that affairs don’t need to be physical.

They can be emotional as well, and many married people are entangled in emotional affairs with online characters.

When you start feeling like you would rather spend your time texting someone else instead of talking to your partner, you are already crossing the line into an emotional affair.

To keep your marriage happy, you shouldn’t ever give your partner reason to doubt your commitment to the relationship.

When they have to compete with your phone for your attention, they may start feeling like second fiddles in the relationship.

Don’t ever let them feel this way.

2. It can be a time waster

ways cell phones destroy marriages

I am sure everyone can relate to this.

We all have experienced that urge to “check Instagram for a few seconds,” after giving in to the urge, we find out that we are still scrolling from reel to reel an hour later.

The time that could have been better spent with your spouse.

It gets worse for some set of people who are addicted to social media.

A female friend once showed up late for a date with her boyfriend because she was scrolling through Facebook statuses and lost track of the time.

Apart from the fact that it makes you go late to places that you should be early to, cell phones can take up time that would have been better spent connecting with your partner, making plans for the future, or just simply relaxing after a long day at work.

3. It may make your partner feel disrespected

Have you ever noticed that when we are so engrossed with our phones, we act disrespectfully to people around us?

Sometimes, we get so engrossed with our phones that conversing with our partners ceases to be pleasurable and becomes a distraction.

So, you are scrolling through your Facebook news feed, and your wife is telling you about her day.

You are trying to listen or probably pretending to listen, but your pretense isn’t cutting it because it is obvious to your wife that she is being ignored.

Being ignored by your partner makes you feel disrespected, and it gets even worse when you realize that they are ignoring you because they are doing something as frivolous as scrolling through people’s pictures.

In a marriage, you owe your partner clear communication.

Your partner deserves your fullest attention when talking to you; they feel disrespected when they do not get it.

They deserve proper face-to-face communication, showing you are listening to their words.

Isn’t that how you listened to them when you first met and started dating?

When you were so passionate about your partner, you could spend hours listening to them talk.

What changed?

How you make your partner feel when you don’t pay attention to them doesn’t bode any goodwill for your marriage.

So, the next time your partner is speaking with you, put that phone away and listen to them.

Save your marriage from becoming a disaster.

4. It can cause resentment

ways cell phones destroy marriages

I know that if I am being ignored by someone I love frequently, I will be resentful of the person.

In fact, the more love I have for you, the more resentful I get.

Watching your partner consistently choose their phone over you can be a painful thing to go through.

The fact is that you may not even know when you start becoming resentful of them, but it just happens.

It starts with you feeling disrespected and gradually graduates into feeling disregarded and unheard.

At some point, you may figure that whatever your partner does on their phone is more important than you are.

This feeling will breed resentment and make communication between you and your partner cold and impersonal.

Even when your partner wants to talk to you, you may react coldly to them.

Out of resentment or maybe out of a need to protect yourself from the heartbreak of them treating you like you are less important than their phones.

Either way, couples must come together to address the issue when a partner begins to nurse grudges and resentment in a relationship.

Otherwise, the relationship may be well on its way to a terrible end.

5. It can lead to false escapism

ways cell phones destroy marriages

It’s weird how you can be so glued to your phone, trying to remain updated on matters that have no single bearing on your life while ignoring more important matters around you.

You are so busy trying to “keep up with your favorite tiktokers” while your partner is unhappy with the relationship.

It is sad, but this is one of the most common effects of cell phone addiction.

It makes you oblivious to the things happening around you while you are exceptionally alert to issues arising in someone else’s relationship.

I have seen people analyzing celebrities’ pictures with their partners, trying to discern the state of their relationship from their body language.

If we were all this focused on our marriages, the divorce rates would reduce drastically.

6. It facilitates cheating

Phones are actually beneficial in a lot of ways.

One of the benefits of cell phones is that they make communication easy.

On the flip side, because it makes communication easy, it also makes it easy for partners to cheat in relationships.

With social media linking the world into one big global village, a man in Nigeria could cheat on his wife with someone in America just as easily as doing it with someone in a neighboring state.

In this way, phones have proven to be harmful to marriages.

The fact that a sexually dissatisfied partner can find that satisfaction by just clicking some apps on their phones is a terrifying thought.

Sometimes, couples no longer take time to resolve issues in relationships.

It’s more like “fight, yell at each other, walk off in a huff, pick up your phone, and start smiling,” rinse and repeat.

It deletes conflict resolution from the process, and both partners just end up being in a relationship full of unresolved issues, which pushes them a little closer to infidelity each day.

7. Unhealthy comparison on social media

Another threat cell phones and, by extension, social media pose to marriages is the trap of comparison.

The online world is almost perfect because posts can be pre-edited and modified before they go out.

However, it is different from life.

Life is much different and filled with imperfections.

The danger of the perfect world of social media is the unhealthy comparison it causes for marriages and couples.

So many families are affected by trends and ideologies posted online.

Some think the grass is greener on the other side due to the illusion of smiling faces, happily ever after’s, sexy bodies, and other social media projections.

Like Nigerians say, “The pressure is getting worse” (wesser here is slang for “worse”).

This is one of the reasons divorce rates are topping the charts.

8. Any addiction is dangerous

ways cell phones destroy marriages

Is your phone the first thing you reach out to each morning?

Does your morning routine consist of 30 minutes on TikTok and another 15 minutes on Instagram before you even start doing anything?

Do you seem to take your phone everywhere, even into the shower?

Do you feel like your phone has gradually become an extension of you, and any separation from it could cause you discomfort and almost physical pain?

These are some of the signs that you are addicted to your cell phone.

Like every other addiction, cellphone addiction has several damaging effects.

Some of these effects range from irritability and defensiveness to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and emotional instability.

It could also make you develop a short attention span for anything unrelated to your phone.

This could affect your focus and productivity at work and home.

There are so many issues that come with phone addiction, and you don’t want them in your marriage, so you need to learn to put that phone away.


Come, let me show you…

How To Control Your Cellphone Usage – 5 Ways

1. Don’t use your phone 30 minutes before sleeping

Some people press their phones until they fall asleep.

This is not right.

Try spending the last half-hour of every day without your phone.

Spend that time off your phone considering your day, the things you have done, what you could have done better, and those things you didn’t take notice of.

Do this consistently while steadily increasing the length of time you spend without your device.

2. Put it on silent mode

Putting your phone on vibration may still distract you.

However, silencing the phone can help you focus on important matters.

With the constant notifications out of the way, you may finally find yourself enjoying your marriage once again.

Cell phones also have do-not-disturb and focus modes to help you navigate this.

3. Keep it out of sight

This is what I do to my phone whenever I need to focus.

I give it to my friend or mom while I do what I should do.

I have found out that it helps me focus without any distractions.

You may not have someone to give it to, but you can practice self-governance by keeping it away for some time.

When you walk into a restaurant today, you’ll find people dining in pairs and groups.

Look again, and I bet that most of them are either fiddling on their phones or their phones are on the table as the center of attraction.

Practice keeping your phone away to have real-life conversations and socialize with loved ones. 

It works.

4. Make it a game

ways cell phones destroy marriages

Family outings can be boring if everyone is just focused on their phones.

So, make it a game.

Have everyone put their phones in the middle of the table.

The first person to reach for their phone will have to buy a drink or dessert for everyone.

Or perhaps do all the chores for the next day.

Finally, you can take a phone break.

If you are not on call and your livelihood is not remotely linked to your cellphone, you can take a break from using your cell phone occasionally.

See it as a detox.

You may not know how much of a cell phone addict until you embark on a phone detox and start struggling with withdrawal symptoms.

The time away from your phone can be spent with your family.

I won’t lie to you and say it is easy to do any of these, but if you can do it, you will be saving your marriage from disaster.

As an added incentive, you will also be increasing your productivity.



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