Sometimes, figuring out a man’s emotions can feel like watching a movie shot in an unfamiliar language without subtitles.
It’s just like rocket science—not easy to understand.
This is especially true if he is conditioned to withdraw and not express his emotions whenever he encounters difficulties.
Rather than open up to his wife about whatever it is that’s bothering him, he’ll put up a high wall around his heart and leave her guessing what exactly is wrong with him.
When he seems to return to normal and she begins to think that all is well with him, bits and pieces of the war raging inside him find a way to show themselves from time to time.
That man is unhappy, but he’s trying so hard to mask it, and so far, he appears to be doing a good job of it.
How exactly will a wife know that her husband is unhappy?
There are things he does that’ll give him away.
Come with me, and let’s find out what those things are.
If Your Husband Does These 7 Things, He’s Secretly Unhappy
1. He becomes passive-aggressive
One of the things your husband does when he’s secretly unhappy is that he becomes passive-aggressive.
Passive aggression is a sign that something is wrong but instead of talking about it, he’ll prefer to conceal it.
He becomes more critical than he has ever been despite looking like he supports whatever you want to do.
Sometimes, he gives you the silent treatment and sends a lot of mixed signals that can make you confused about what’s really going on with him.
You’ll also notice that lately, he never admits to being wrong, even when it’s clear that he is indeed wrong.
He uses passive aggression as a tool to express the negative feelings that he doesn’t want to talk about.
2. Avoids maintaining eye contact with you
Another way to tell if your husband is secretly unhappy is if he avoids maintaining eye contact with you.
Like they say, ‘The eyes are the window to the soul.’
You know him too well and know how to get to him.
He’ll avoid looking into your eyes whenever you’re in close contact.
You’ll notice that he hurriedly moves his gaze to somewhere else whenever your eyes meet.
He’s avoiding maintaining eye contact with you because he knows that you’ll see the pain, fear, unhappiness, and any other negative emotions that he’s trying to hide inside him right through his eyes.
And when you see that he’s not happy, it’ll lead you to ask him questions that he’s not ready to answer.
3. He’s suddenly irritable
Your husband is usually calm and easygoing.
But recently, you noticed that he has occasional temper flares that are not part of his character.
He reacts brashly to even things that shouldn’t get a reaction out of him ordinarily.
It shows that there’s something eating away at him on the inside.
Containing unhappiness can be tricky.
He used a greater part of his energy to bury his negative feelings inside instead of letting them out and being free.
It’ll make him irritable and prone to reacting irrationally whenever he encounters even the slightest hiccup.
Because he invested his energy into holding down instead of letting go of his negative feelings, he’ll be too tired to control his emotions and act calm and composed as usual.
He doesn’t mean to react irrationally, but it just happens.
4. Acts unusually happy whenever he’s outside
A man who is secretly unhappy will get into the act very quickly and appear unusually happy whenever he’s in public.
He’ll act like his normal self, laugh a little too loudly, be a darling, and some more to outsiders.
To others, he might seem like a jolly good fellow, but you’re his wife and know that something is fishy with him.
If he were fine, he’d keep up that cheery personality at home.
However, what he hopes to achieve by acting unusually happy in public is to make people think that all is well with him.
He doesn’t want anyone prying into his life because he’s carrying a long face.
He’s trying to hide his unhappiness from everyone, including you.
So, putting up a happy act won’t be a surprising move he’ll pull off.
5. Avoids having personal conversations with you
If your husband is secretly unhappy, he’ll avoid having personal conversations with you.
As I mentioned, you know him too well and can tell when he’s not fine.
He fears that when he talks about personal stuff with you, you’ll find a way to break down his defenses and make him open up to you about what’s bothering him.
He doesn’t want that to happen.
At least, not yet.
So, he’ll avoid having any discussion that’ll boil down to personal stuff with you.
6. Becomes more sarcastic
Another sign that your husband is secretly unhappy is his increasing sarcasm toward you and other people.
Sarcasm is simply saying the opposite of what you mean.
There’s nothing wrong with applying a bit of sarcasm here and there.
Some people love to banter with it and even use it in conversations to spice things up.
It’s not a big deal if it happens once in a while.
However, a sign that something is wrong is that your husband becomes overly sarcastic towards everyone around him.
He has some pressing issues that he’s not ready or willing to talk about.
He’s trying to suppress them and act like all is well to prevent you or anyone from finding out what it is.
He’s secretly unhappy.
7. He stonewalls you
If your husband is secretly unhappy and thinks that you’re on to his pretense, he’ll resort to stonewalling you.
He has been trying so hard to hide his unhappiness, and you’re beginning to suspect that he is.
Stonewalling refers to using generic responses such as “It’s well,” “I’m fine,” and “Nothing is wrong” to shut people out.
I once read of a man who admitted to using stonewalling as a weapon against his wife when he was going through a bad time and didn’t want to share his struggles with anyone.
He said that his wife was a very sensitive person and noticed that he was not fine.
But because he was also trying hard to pretend to be happy, she couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was wrong with him.
All she knew was that he definitely wasn’t fine, despite all the happy acts he put on.
So, you see?
Your husband is doing it to you because he’s afraid that you’ll confront him with your suspicions.
You’ll likely engage him in a heartfelt conversation that’ll make him melt like butter and make him open up to you about what he’s bottling up.
He’s not ready or willing to spill.
At least, not yet.
So, he’ll employ stonewalling as a means to shut you out of his personal life and business.