Do you ask yourself, “What do I do if my partner threatens to leave when we argue”?
Every relationship usually has its ups and downs.
But if you’re constantly feeling that your relationship is on the brink of breaking whenever you disagree with your partner, it’s not good for you.
It’s not even a good thing to keep happening to anyone.
So, what should you do if your partner is fond of threatening to leave the relationship whenever you argue?
You love and want to be with them, but you’re unsure how serious they are about the relationship because they constantly threaten to leave at the slightest provocation.
It’s not just hurtful but hard to feel safe in such a relationship.
Also, you’ll have difficulty picturing what your future will look like with someone who looks like they won’t hesitate to end it in a split second.
There are some possible reasons for such behavior, but to make headway, you must first get to the root of the problem.
It’ll help you know if your partner is redeemable or if you should part ways.
Below are some things you can do if your partner keeps threatening to leave when you argue.
7 Things To Do If Partner Threatens To Leave When We Argue
1. Make inquiries about your partner’s background
No matter how rosy life seems now, knowing where someone is coming from (their past) is important.
You might think that it doesn’t matter, but it does.
If someone had a rough childhood or unpleasant past relationships, it can be triggered unexpectedly in the present.
Did they experience trauma of any kind?
It’ll help you have a better understanding of the types of relationships they witnessed while growing up.
Did their loved ones threaten to leave or carry out the threat?
Did they ever witness a healthy relationship where two adults worked out their differences instead of ending things?
If someone has never been around or experienced a healthy, loving relationship and is used to people bailing on them when things get complicated, it’ll be difficult for them not to act in the same way when faced with such situations.
Is this the case with your partner?
Also, are they open to unlearning, relearning, and learning how to be in a healthy, successful relationship with you?
You need to be patient with them and correct them in love.
Depending on the severity of the past trauma, they might also need to explore professional therapy.
2. Encourage them to talk about their emotions
Some people feel that the only option they have to end an argument is threatening to break up with their partner.
They do it mainly because they do not know how to work on their emotions or talk about their feelings.
So, to them, the best option is to remove themselves completely from the equation.
Do you think that this is the reason for your partner’s actions?
It would be best if you encouraged them to start speaking up.
They might have been brought up in fear and trained to withhold their emotions and not share them with others.
But it would be best to make your relationship a haven for them.
Create an atmosphere of trust and safety between you two so that you can freely share what you feel at any point and work on the feelings together.
Professional therapy can help if you can’t get through to them or they’re still having difficulties opening up after your efforts.
3. Find a better way to communicate
Does your partner often threaten to break up with you at the end of a heated argument?
It can be that they don’t know what else to say or how best to move on from the argument in a different way other than to threaten to end things.
It’s sad that ending your arguments like this won’t take away the issues in your relationship and will stop you from working on them together as a couple.
The best thing you can do at this point is to find a method of communication that’ll be effective for both of you.
There are other ways to make your feelings known without getting into a fight.
If you can dialogue, resolve the issue via text, or even take breaks during arguments till flared tempers are calm, you’ll both feel heard and respected.
When you talk through your issues and communicate respectfully, you get the opportunity to understand each other better and work as a team instead of falling apart.
4. Find out if they’re scared of commitment
It must be very hard for you to feel settled and assured that you’re in a committed relationship if your partner constantly threatens to end it.
Maybe that’s precisely how they want you to feel – unsettled and unrelaxed because they fear commitment.
Perhaps, constantly reminding you that they can end the relationship and walk away at any moment is what keeps them in control.
They’re sending you a clear message that it’s optional for them to be in the relationship, and they’re not ready to commit.
If you’re not on the same page with your partner, your relationship will not work.
You should be looking for a better partner if the current one is not ready to be committed to your relationship.
5. Find out if they’re stressed-out
We often take out our pent-up emotions on our loved ones because they understand us the most and are closest to us.
Sometimes, stressful situations get the better of us, and we need the support of our partners to get through them.
If your partner recently started acting brashly toward you and even threatened to end the relationship, it might have everything to do with how they’re feeling and nothing to do with you.
Perhaps, they don’t know how to communicate their feelings and are taking their frustrations out on you and the relationship.
Have you noticed that your partner’s behavior changes whenever they’re stressed?
You have to either find a way to address the cause of the stress or support them while they face the obstacles and overcome them.
Through it all, you need to understand that their lashing out at you had nothing to do with you.
That way, you won’t misunderstand the situation and make it worse than it already is.
6. Do not let them manipulate you
Don’t let your partner manipulate you into remaining in an unhealthy relationship.
They’re manipulating you if they threaten to break up with you whenever you have a disagreement, or you want to do something that they don’t want.
They manipulate you if they’re trying to make you feel guilty for having a different opinion or wanting to do something for yourself.
If you’re forced to choose between being constantly threatened with a break-up or doing what you like whenever you do something that doesn’t sit well with your partner, they’re trying to hold you hostage and control you emotionally.
They’re using your love for them against you and trying to make you do what they want by giving you an ultimatum.
It’s not in your best interest because they only want to use you to satisfy their need to be in control.
What a toxic relationship!
Can you relate to this situation?
Then, beat them at their game and end the relationship when next they threaten to end it.
Your partner should cherish your love and not try to use it against you.
7. Give them space
Your partner may be trying to get some space during an argument if they say they’ll end the relationship.
Let’s look at it from this perspective.
You know how heated arguments can get, and because we’re in our emotions, we tend to say things we don’t mean because we didn’t stop to think first.
Your partner may be bad at handling confrontations, and the only way they know to end an argument is by threatening to break up so they’ll have space and time to put their thoughts together.
You can try to give each other some space whenever you feel the tension rising during arguments.
It’ll be best if you let each other process your emotions and go over your thoughts before speaking.
Not only will it end the reign of your partner threatening to end the relationship, but it’ll also help you understand each other better and handle future problems in a mature way.
Conclusion
If your partner is always threatening to end your relationship, it means you’re walking on eggshells.
Are you enjoying or enduring such a relationship?
Every relationship has its ups and downs.
I hope this list addresses your concerns and provides you with the answers you seek.
Relationships are meant to be enjoyed, not endured.