Trust is a crucial part of every relationship.
If you’re asking, “Why do I have trust issues in relationships?” this piece will throw more light on why you have trust issues in relationships.
You should know that without trust between two people in a relationship, having a long-lasting and wholesome relationship is highly unlikely.
Anyone who has tasted betrayal in any form, like infidelity in a relationship, can develop trust issues that may interfere with their future relationships.
In this article, you’ll learn about trust issues, including the signs, causes, and how to get over trust issues.
Let’s get started.
5 Prominent Signs Of Trust Issues
Certain behaviors can point to you being unable to trust other people.
Let’s look at some of the most prominent ones:
1. Sabotaging your happiness
A good sign that you have trust issues is that you tend to sabotage yourself a lot.
Instead of living in the moment and enjoying it to the fullest, you’re always wary about things going wrong.
Your trust issues are at the forefront if you always have the mindset that your partner will disappoint you someday.
Consequently, you start doing things that’ll create problems in your relationship and cause it to end now so that you won’t be disappointed later.
2. You’re mostly suspicious around other people
Being suspicious of other people, even when there’s nothing to worry about, is a general sign that you have trust issues.
Is your mind always working overtime and always imagining the worst-case scenarios?
You always feel that the people around you are trying to outsmart or harm you.
You have trust issues, making you suspect the people around you even when their intentions are harmless.
3. You always assume the worst
You have trust issues if you’re always quick to assume the worst of people around you.
To you, no one has pure and noble intentions – ‘nothing goes for nothing’ is your slogan.
Even people who have proven trustworthy in the past are not exempted.
For instance, you’ll wonder why someone offered to help you voluntarily and if they’ll ask for something in return later.
4. You distance yourself from other people
Do you distance yourself from other people for no justifiable reason?
It’s a sign that you have trust issues.
In most cases, a lack of trust can cause you to build a wall between yourself and others.
You avoid relating with others because you’re afraid of disappointment or betrayal.
5. Inability to forgive
If you have trust issues, it’ll be very hard to move on when your trust is betrayed.
And when you’re unable to forgive and forget, it’ll affect not only your relationship with other people but also negatively impact your life.
It’ll give rise to negative feelings such as regret, bitterness, shame, and guilt in you.
Why Do I Have Trust Issues In Relationships?: 4 Major Causes Of Trust Issues
Often, people develop trust issues because they have been hurt in the past.
Specifically, early childhood experiences play a huge role in building your ability to trust people.
This means that trust issues can arise mainly from circumstances surrounding your upbringing.
Based on this, here are some causes of trust issues:
1. Conflicts between parents
Parental conflicts are a major cause of trust issues.
You’ll notice that if children always witness their parents having problems in their marriage, and these problems resulted from broken trust, they’ll grow up afraid to trust others.
They’re simply afraid that they’ll go through their parents’ experiences whenever they get into romantic relationships in the future.
Can you relate to this fear?
It might be why you have trust issues in relationships.
2. Negative life experiences
People who went through trauma, specifically while they were growing up, are more likely to have trust issues when they become adults.
There are a lot of ways the trust issues can manifest.
They include finding it difficult to forgive people who break their trust, being afraid of betrayals related to trust, or having difficulty trusting their romantic partners or friends.
3. Relationship betrayal
Another reason you have trust issues in relationships is that you might have experienced betrayal(s) in your past relationship(s).
The most evident and common type of this betrayal of trust is infidelity.
You’ll agree that infidelity is very hurtful and difficult to get over in a relationship, especially if you see cheating as a big deal.
You’ll find it difficult to trust fully (or at all) in your future relationship(s) after going through a heartbreak resulting from infidelity.
4. Social rejection
If you were rejected by your peers when you were a child or adolescent, the experience can make it hard for you to trust other people.
Did you experience this while growing up?
If yes, you’ll agree that this type of trust issue is made worse because the person facing social rejection doesn’t even know why they’re being rejected.
I mean, it’ll feel so bad to be unable to join your peers for unknown reasons.
And when these rejections become unchecked and frequent, the person will develop serious trust issues that are difficult to conquer.
However, you should note that having one or more of these causes of trust issues does not automatically mean you have trust issues.
But it can also be an indication of your need to address these issues if they cause you pain or are preventing you from building and maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships.
How To Overcome Trust Issues
Although it can be challenging, it is very possible to conquer trust issues.
Outlined below are some ways you can overcome trust issues:
1. Open up about your trust issues
It’ll be best to open up and talk about your trust issues with your romantic partner or friends who genuinely care about you.
You don’t even have to garnish them with the full details of the things that happened in the past, which led to you developing trust issues.
You just need to tell them the reason you struggle with trusting others.
It’ll help them understand you better and know the best way to help you in their capacity.
It’ll also help them to be conscious of their actions around you because they know that you might misinterpret them.
2. Learn how to trust yourself
One of the best ways to overcome trust issues is by learning to trust yourself.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that you should never question your choices or yourself.
I’m only saying that you should develop a stronger sense of self-awareness that’ll act as a guide to your interactions with other people and your sense of judgment.
It’ll be helpful if you also practice mindfulness.
If you can practice mindfulness, it’ll help you be fully aware of whatever you’re feeling at the moment without having to worry about the future or past.
3. Differentiate between control and trust
People who have trust issues often feel the need to be in control.
Most times, rather unconsciously, they tend to display this need as mistrusting behavior.
If you have trust issues, you’ll notice that whenever you’re not in complete control of a situation, you’ll feel like you’re being taken advantage of or betrayed.
But this attitude will only end up hurting your relationships if you keep up with it.
It would be best to accept that you won’t always have control over every situation.
You must learn how to contribute only as much control as is necessary in every situation.
By letting other people be in partial or total control of some situations you feature in, you’re giving them room to prove themselves to you.
And that’s one of the ways you’ll effectively build trust with other people.
4. Be slow in building trust
In the journey to overcome trust issues, you need to trust people enough to give them access to your life.
Sometimes, these people will make mistakes – it’s important that you forgive them.
We’re all humans, and no one is infallible.
Building trust slowly will be in your best interest; don’t just dabble into it because that’s what’s required of you.
If you’re the type that trusts very quickly and with so much intensity, I’ll advise you to step on the brakes.
The best way to build trust is slowly – to ascertain if the person is worth your trust and to avoid getting hurt easily.
5. Be trustworthy
You need to be willing to trust someone first if you’re trying to build trust with them.
It means you need to be open about your thoughts, feelings, limits, and opinions.
It also entails being able to understand when the person breaks your trust because no one is above mistakes.
Learn how to strike a balance between being willing to trust someone and understanding if they unknowingly break your trust.
Once you can achieve this, you’re well on your way to building wholesome and beautiful interpersonal relationships based on trust.
6. See a therapist
Therapy is another helpful way to overcome trust issues, so consider seeing a therapist.
The first step is to trust your therapist to help you through your issues – you’re already building trust with other people, and that’s progress.
While seeing a therapist or any other mental health professional, they’ll open your eyes more to why you find it difficult to trust.
They’ll also teach you new coping skills that you’ll employ in rebuilding trust in your relationship with other people.
The world is already complicated – you shouldn’t add trust issues to your troubles.
Trust is a very important aspect of every human relationship.
It’ll help you a whole lot if you utilize all the things discussed in this article and learn how to build trust.
I’m rooting for you.