Being caring and doing too much in a relationship are two different things, and there’s a very thin line between them.
It is important that you understand the difference between the two.
Sometimes, while you may think that you’re being a supportive and caring partner, you may actually be doing too much.
Now, you don’t want to ‘suffocate’ your partner with too much love and care.
Yes, there’s something like that, and it exists when you are doing too much in your relationship.
You also don’t want to be a walkover in the relationship.
I understand that all you want is to offer love, respect, and value to your partner and get those back in return.
But it’s time for a reality check.
Are you doing too much in your relationship?
Let’s find out in this article.
6 Signs You’re Doing Too Much In Your Relationship
1. You are constantly pushing your partner to be committed to the relationship
One sign that you’re doing too much in your relationship is that you find yourself always pushing and chasing your partner to be committed to you.
For a relationship to be considered good, wholesome, and healthy, it has to be a two-way thing.
You should be receiving the energy you are giving in equal or almost equal measure from your partner.
However, in a situation where your partner is taking all the time from you but never gives back to you, your relationship is far from being healthy.
You’ll find that you’re almost always begging them to create more time to spend with you, give you more attention, and connect with you emotionally.
For how long do you plan to keep living that way?
It’s time to go easy on the relationship.
Take a step back to reassess your situation because you’re definitely doing too much in your relationship.
2. Your relationship wears you out
If you find that your relationship wears you out most of the time, it’s one of the signs you’re doing too much in your relationship.
Ever since you got into the relationship, it has been from one relationship problem to the other.
The number of times you’ve fought with your partner is greater than the happy moments you’ve shared with them.
If you’re not fighting with them about their nonchalant attitude towards your concerns in the relationship, you are working so hard to get them to be on the same page with you with regard to making plans and following up on them in the relationship.
Are you on a battlefield or in a relationship?
Your relationship now feels like a very demanding full-time job.
That’s not how it should be.
A relationship should be enjoyed and not endured.
It’s where you should get some peace, happiness, and quiet away from the numerous problems that life brings your way.
Your partner should be someone who offers the calm to your storm.
They should be your listening ear and shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough.
Instead, you find out that they’re your storm.
It’s a sign that you’re actually doing too much in your relationship.
3. You place your personal goals on hold for the relationship
Are you placing your personal goals on hold for your relationship to be successful?
It’s an indication that you’re doing too much in your relationship.
You might not even realize it at first till it becomes very pronounced.
But by then, you must have gone past the point of caring about your goals and dreams.
All you’ll want is to keep investing in your relationship so it won’t fail.
Can’t you see that you’re going down the path of destruction?
For instance, you start out by cutting down on the time you devote to your job, craft, or business to spend more time with your partner.
Awwww!
How sweet and romantic of you!
Then, you gradually start turning down offers and opportunities that’ll help you grow in your career or business simply because you’ve weighed your options and discovered that accepting such offers will make you cut down the time you spend with your partner.
You find yourself sacrificing your personal success, growth, and development on the altar of your relationship.
Who does that?
The one who is doing too much in their relationship, obviously.
There’s nothing healthy about this trend at all.
Your partner should encourage you to grow in your career and business.
They should be willing and ready to meet you halfway, no matter how inconveniencing and unfavorable it will be for them.
When it comes to your personal success, they should be among those seated in the front row and cheering you on to victory.
The fact that you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean that you should lose your individuality and not be successful at what you do.
But if that’s not the case for you, then something is definitely wrong.
4. You neglect yourself in the relationship
Prioritizing and taking care of yourself is very important if you must be well groomed and balanced emotionally, physically, and mentally.
If you’re doing too much in your relationship, you are bound to neglect yourself.
It’s a no-brainer.
You’ll be all about your partner and relationship.
For instance, you’ll skip your yoga or spa appointments to help your partner run some domestic errands.
It can even be that you ditch a hangout with your friends to spend time with your partner.
Recall that at the beginning of this article, I said that there’s a thin line between being caring and doing too much in your relationship.
It’s good to be nice and caring towards your partner.
But it’s more important to take good care of yourself all round.
You need to take care of yourself to perform optimally in every aspect of your life, including your relationship.
Instead of taking advantage of you, your partner should be looking out for you and making sure that you are taking good care of yourself.
One of the signs you’re doing too much in your relationship is that taking care of yourself always takes the backseat.
5. Your partner’s mood determines yours
Does your partner’s mood determine and control how you feel?
It’s a sign that you’re doing too much in your relationship.
For instance, if they’re unhappy or having a bad day, your mood and day are automatically ruined, too.
It’s as if your moods are tied to each other.
It’s not healthy and shouldn’t be so.
You should feel sad when they’re unhappy, but going over the top about it is not okay.
That’s why individuality in relationships is very important.
Have your own life and sources of happiness so you’ll not depend on your partner for happiness.
Your partner should also be able to control their moods and emotions by themselves, without your interference.
You can support them, but while at it, bear in mind that you are not solely responsible for their happiness.
6. You always seek validation from your partner
Does it feel like your self-esteem is tied to and determined by your partner?
It’s wrong on every level and is one of the signs you’re doing too much in your relationship.
You should know that your value as a person is not determined by your partner or by the fact that you’re in a relationship.
Your self-worth comes from within you and not from any other person.
So, instead of seeking validation from your partner, I want you to reach within yourself and find it.
You’re first a person before you became someone’s partner.
You need to have a healthy dose of self-esteem, which should not be dependent on or determined by your partner or relationship.
Many people with low self-worth do too much in relationships because they have been conditioned by past hurts and traumatic experiences.
You can explore professional counseling or therapy so you heal from the past and move on to healthier relationships.
You deserve a healthy relationship, and I am rooting for you.