I will have to start this with a disclaimer… I am a Christian, and I believe in the power of prayer!
I have seen too many miracles in this life not to believe in God and the power of prayers.
The Bible says that the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous person avails much.
Like me, you believe in the power of prayer and have probably seen results in several aspects of your life.
However, you are left feeling stymied every time you pray for your marriage.
It seems like every time you try to pray away issues in your marriage, they end up multiplying.
What could be wrong?
Why does your husband behave even worse the more you pray about your marriage?
Why does it seem like prayers have a reverse effect on your marriage?
You have searched for answers for so long.
I hope you find the answers in this article.
“The More I Pray The Worse My Husband Gets”- 7 Possible Reasons For This
1. You have refused to take action
In primary school, we always sang “Prayer is the master key” on the assembly ground every morning.
We all believed this sincerely, and we would pray over everything, even our meals, before eating.
God forbid you eat food from someone without blessing it first… you may just find yourself initiated into witchcraft.
Yes, I am Nigerian, and we had a lot of superstitions back then.
However, I never see anyone entering the examination halls without preparing properly, solely relying on prayers.
The fact is that even in our young minds, we knew that in certain situations, prayers alone wouldn’t work.
Praying alone in your relationship is not working because of this.
You keep praying for your husband and expecting an angel to appear before him, commanding him to change while you do absolutely nothing.
This is a major reason it seems like your husband is getting worse the more you pray for him.
Just praying and expecting a miracle to occur overnight in your marriage doesn’t make sense when you look at it practically.
The way you don’t pray yourself into becoming a great entrepreneur, athlete, architect, or lawyer is the same way you don’t pray your marriage into success.
Some things must be done to have a successful marriage, and if you stay with me to the end, we will talk about those things.
For now, you just need to know that prayer without making efforts to improve your relationship is just like “fetching water into a basket” ( a Nigerian expression for doing something futile).
2. You nag your husband
Prayer requires faith, right?
After praying, you may have felt hope well up inside of you.
It is normal to feel that way after praying to God.
Sometimes, rather than believing that God is at work in our relationship, we try to catalyze the change we expect by nagging.
So, you prayed that your husband would begin to value you and the next thing you do is you begin to nag him about things he has done in the past.
Nagging has never been known to bring about any positive changes in anything and it won’t start to do so just because you prayed.
Rather than nag your husband, why don’t you be the change you desire in the relationship?
Be the difference.
When we pray, we receive the power to be different… a better version of ourselves.
Giving expression to that better version of yourself will be more effective in your marriage than nagging your husband after praying.
3. You don’t spend quality time with him
You don’t spend quality time with your husband, and you are praying that God changes him?
How do you expect that to happen?
Love isn’t just something that happens in a moment like ” the Big Bang.”
It is nurtured over time by spending time with your partner and building a strong emotional bond.
One of the major ways to keep this bond strong is by spending quality time with your husband.
Go on dates with him.
Ooh, he is not initiating them?
Initiate them yourself.
Plan outings like picnics, strolls, movie nights, and dinner with him.
Just spend time with him.
Don’t just pray alone; show that you are ready to invest in your marriage.
4. You don’t respect him
Another reason you may be praying for your marriage and your husband is getting worse is that you don’t respect him.
Every partner in a relationship actually deserves to be respected.
However, males have been trained to expect it even more.
A major way to make a man love you is to show that you respect him.
You may be wondering how to show respect to your husband… It is not hard to do.
Listen to him, show him you value his opinions, involve him in decision-making, and resist the urge to nag.
Praying is good, but showing your husband respect will go a long way in helping you mend the relationship.
5. You deprive him sexually
Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the major causes of conflicts in marriages.
A sexually dissatisfied man is just like the proverbial hungry man; he is an angry man.
When a man is not sexually satisfied in the marriage, it brings up a lot of issues and conflicts.
You may find it hard to find a peaceful moment in such a relationship, and prayer wouldn’t solve the issues because the answers to the prayers are with you.
In fact, if this continues long enough, it may give rise to the bigger issue of infidelity.
Am I saying that you are responsible for your husband’s decision to cheat?
No, I am not.
What I mean is that everyone is responsible for their actions.
You are responsible for depriving your husband of sex, and he is responsible for deciding to cheat.
Pray for your marriage all you want, but never neglect the place of sexual intimacy.
6. You shut down and pray instead of resolving conflicts with your husband
Sometimes, we pray for things God has given us the wisdom to surmount.
Conflicts occur even in the most successful relationships.
What makes those relationships successful is how conflict is handled.
For the most part, people take conflict in relationships as a sign that their partner doesn’t love them.
But two people can’t always agree.
In successful relationships, partners sit down and discuss the issue at hand to find a reasonable compromise.
They realize that you can’t always have your way and sulking over it won’t achieve anything.
You keep praying for your marriage especially when you have conflicts with your husband but have never attempted to communicate with him about how you feel.
Instead, you shut it all up inside of you and pray even more.
If this is you, I need to ask what you are praying for.
Are you praying for an angel to appear to him and explain how you feel?
Do you think God will visit him in his sleep and order him to always agree with you?
Prayer doesn’t work that way.
Prayer may make him amenable to hearing you out and changing his ways, but without improving your communication skills, you may just find out that the more you pray, the worse your husband becomes.
7. You prioritize other things over him
Do you pay more attention to your cell phone or social media than your husband?
Rather than talk to your husband, do you prefer to scroll through hundreds of videos and images on social media and expect your relationship to work?
Cell phones are great and have their benefits.
However, they should not be a replacement for human interactions.
How do you plan on strengthening the bond between you and your husband when you hardly ever communicate?
If you only communicate with your husband when you want to argue about something or register displeasure on an issue, there is nothing that prayer can do in that case.
Ultimately, prayer is only a part of the equation you need to get things right in marriage.
Often, God needs us to take the right actions after praying.
If you can’t pray yourself into becoming a successful lawyer without attending law school, you shouldn’t expect to have a successful marriage just because you prayed.
Get the necessary skills that can help you build better intimacy and communication with your husband.
Only when you do this will you begin to see your prayers at work in your marriage.
And perhaps, coming across this article at this point in time is also an answer to your prayers.