Marriage is beautiful, but depending on what you do or not do, you can enjoy it or not.
Wanna know the things I started doing to enjoy my marriage more?
I’ll tell you.
6 Things I Started Doing To Enjoy My Marriage Better
1. I made my happiness my responsibility
I know we get into relationships/marriages to be happy/happier, but I’ve realized that taking ownership of my own contentment instead of relying on my spouse or my marriage to make me happy is a path to true happiness.
Often in relationships, we fall into the trap of believing that it’s our partner’s job to make us happy.
This puts unnecessary pressure on our partner and the relationship as a whole.
When I took ownership of my own happiness, it not only led to personal fulfillment but also improved my marriage by relieving my spouse of the unrealistic expectation of being my sole source of joy.
So, making my happiness my responsibility was about understanding and accepting that while my spouse is a huge part of my life and contributes to my happiness, he isn’t the only source of it.
I find joy in different aspects of my life, like my hobbies, work, friendships, and achieving my goals.
This has greatly enhanced my happiness.
And when I am happy and fulfilled, I am able to bring that positivity into my marriage.
Because when I am happier with myself, I am happier in my relationship too, because I am more patient, kind, and understanding towards my spouse.
If you want to enjoy your marriage better, make your happiness your responsibility while your spouse does their part to make you happy.
2. I’ve learned to speak out instead of sulking
I used to have this habit of keeping my feelings to myself, just bottling everything up.
But then I decided to shake things up a bit and started to express myself more openly.
I figured, if something’s bothering me, why not talk about it instead of letting it stew?
So, I began to share my feelings, my concerns, and even the stuff that made me happy with my husband.
Doing this, I feel like it not only made me more honest and open but also helped my partner understand where I’m coming from.
We started to connect on a deeper level, and this also nipped any possible misunderstandings in the bud before they could blow up into bigger issues.
The best part?
When I started to express myself more, my spouse did too.
We started to communicate more openly and honestly.
Of course, we made sure to keep our conversations respectful and kind, no matter what we were discussing.
It’s been a huge boost for our marriage, I’d say.
3. I talked to God about my spouse instead of complaining to family and friends
It’s normal, and even healthy, to want to rant or vent when your spouse hurts you, but there are downsides to this.
One, your friends and family may not see the full picture and tell you something that’s only going to make things worse.
Two, while your loved ones certainly care for you, they could harbor negative impressions about your spouse and potentially lose respect for them over time.
And that’s definitely not what you want.
So, rather than airing out my frustrations to friends and family, I chose to turn to God.
I started taking my concerns and even my raw emotions to Him in prayer.
It wasn’t just about complaining or venting but more about seeking patience, wisdom, and understanding to navigate my situation better.
This has helped me to handle my hurts and anger in a healthier way without bringing third parties into my marriage.
Of course, we both know we can bring in third parties if necessary, but it’s rare.
4. I stopped comparing my marriage to others
There was a moment when I had to face a tough truth: I was comparing my marriage to others.
It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap.
Seeing other couples and thinking they have it all together while we’re here, working through our issues.
But then I realized that what we see on the surface is not the whole story.
Every couple, every marriage, has its own journey and its own challenges.
And the truth is, it’s not fair to us or to them to compare our experiences.
So, I made a decision.
I stopped comparing our marriage to those around us.
Instead, I started focusing on us, on our journey, on our growth.
I started to appreciate our unique path, with all its ups and downs.
This change of perspective has made a huge difference.
It freed me from the pressure and the negativity that comparison brings.
It also allowed me to appreciate my husband and our marriage more.
We’re focusing on being the best we can be for each other rather than trying to measure up to someone else’s story.
5. I started being a little more vulnerable
It’s normal to see vulnerability as a weakness, especially in marriage.
We all want to wear the ”strong woman” or ”strong man” mask because it’s easier to hide behind it.
But, exposing yourself and your true feelings can do your marriage a world of good.
I stopped pretending to be perfect and started sharing my emotions with my husband more, even if I was scared he wouldn’t like what I had to say.
My husband was able to better understand me and empathize with where I was coming from.
I also felt closer to him because he could see the real me.
And now, I don’t always have to be the perfect wife or a strong woman.
I can just be me!
With all my fears and insecurities.
If you’d like to increase your connection with your spouse, don’t be afraid to open up.
Being vulnerable can take your marriage to the next level.
6. I focused on my husband’s strengths instead of his weakness
As humans, we have a natural tendency to focus on the things we don’t like about people, especially our partners when they annoy us. lol
When your partner annoys you, it’s like a red light triggers in your brain telling you to look for their weaknesses and flaws.
My husband has always been very supportive of me.
He’s super-helpful around the house, and when I realized how much good was in my husband, and started focusing on those qualities instead of his flaws, our relationship grew stronger.
Now, every time I’m annoyed by something he does, I take a moment to reflect on the good things about him and it helps me to stay connected.
Marriage is a place of constant unlearning, learning, and relearning, and I’m glad I’ve been doing this instead of thinking I’m perfect and there’s nothing new to learn.
Doing these six things has enabled me to enjoy my marriage more.
What about you?
What have you been doing to enjoy your marriage a little better?