I’ve only been married for a short while, but if there’s something my grand aunt and I who has been married for six decades, agree on, it is the fact that being a wife is a journey, and no one knows it all.
As with everything in life, there is a lot of learning, unlearning, and relearning along the way.
However, there are some things that every confident wife is particular about.
They believe in and are unflinching about these things.
As a result, they are like a standard for every strong wife; trust me, they’re very likely not what you expect.
But I won’t be quick to assume.
The only way for you to find out and learn is by reading through.
9 Things Strong Wives Never Apologize For
1. Putting themselves first
As amazing as my mum is as a wife, one thing I always wished she had done better when I was growing up was prioritizing her welfare.
She literally lived for her husband and children, cooking, nurturing, paying attention to us, looking out for us, and making so many sacrifices.
I never saw her take time for herself or choose her preferences at any point, which are very important things to do, even as a wife and mom.
It is not about being self-centered or biased.
Strong wives don’t bat an eyelid when it comes to taking care of themselves, and they’re not sorry about it.
These women understand that taking care of themselves is important, and it even helps them show up better for their families.
So, you’ll find them prioritizing their mental well-being, stepping away from some responsibilities and taking time off when necessary, focusing on themselves, and slaying with their physical appearance if that’s something they enjoy.
You can’t gaslight or deceive them into feeling guilty for taking care of themselves.
You’d just be wasting your time because they know what’s good for them.
Thankfully, even my mum recognized this eventually at some point and began to take care of herself more.
It took some getting used to from our end, but we adjusted fine.
2. Setting boundaries with in-laws
You can’t bully or push down a confident woman just because she’s a wife.
Women like this love their in-laws and relatives and are very happy to have a great relationship with them.
But make no mistakes; if the need to set boundaries arises, they will draw those boundary lines so thick that you can’t claim to see them.
Nobody is allowed to overstep, not sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, or even parents-in-law.
They love and respect people but don’t apologize for protecting their home and personal space from unnecessary interference.
And I know we’re talking about in-laws now, but this is not restricted to them.
It also applies to everyone in the woman’s life: friends, extended family, acquaintances, family, neighbors, you name it.
Tolerating unfair treatment and sheer reproach is not a show of strength; it’s actually a sign of weakness.
It shows that you can’t stand up for yourself even as a fully grown adult.
3. Refusing to be disrespected
If there’s one thing strong wives don’t play about, it’s this one.
Many women can stomach being treated with disrespect by their husbands, but not these women.
Whether it’s from the husband, children, or others, they insist on being treated with dignity and don’t apologize for demanding respect.
Lately, Nigerians have been on a rave about a Nigerian celebrity couple who are going through a divorce.
What everyone finds sad about their story is how the man constantly disrespected and ridiculed the woman by sleeping with and having children with many different women, even while married.
Still, the wife remained with him and kept absorbing all the disrespect.
Years down the line now, the man is divorcing her.
Imagine being an understanding girlfriend for ages, enduring pain, and disrespect, only to still get served hot breakfast (Nigerian parlance for heartbreak) eventually.
A self-assured woman knows that tolerating insulting behaviors will only birth more of such behaviors.
So, she makes it unapologetically clear that she’s not having any of that.
4. Asking their husbands for support
I never understand it when a married woman preaches hyper-independence, claiming, “I can do it all by myself.”
I honestly feel like, sometimes, this is masked under some sort of trauma or fear.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not preaching over-dependence or asking wives not to maintain their individuality and have their thing going on.
Not at all.
I am saying, why get married if you want to do things all by yourself?
Grounded women have no issues with asking for help when they need it.
They know marriage is a partnership and don’t apologize for expecting their husbands to share responsibilities.
A healthy marriage is about partnership and fulfillment for both parties.
Therefore, when someone needs help emotionally, physically, or spiritually, they should be free to ask.
5. Protecting their marriage
There are social settings and communities where people feel shy about talking about their marriage.
Especially in our woke world today, many people are quick to look down on a woman if they feel like she’s doing too much working on or talking about her marriage.
But they can only put this shame on a woman who isn’t confident in herself and who doesn’t know what her marriage means.
Not a courageous wife.
A confident wife will never apologize for prioritizing her husband and working to keep their relationship strong.
She knows how precious her marriage is and how much value it adds to her already wholesome life, so she treats it with respect.
And even if it means saying no to other commitments to prioritize her marriage, she’ll happily do so.
6. Being vocal
Many people in the past have attributed a woman’s strength to how silent she can be.
The term submission for wives has been so misinterpreted and misconstrued to mean that the woman doesn’t have a voice.
But contrary to all of that, the reverse is the case.
Confident wives are not afraid to express their opinions whenever they need to.
These women communicate openly and respectfully, even if their views differ from those of their spouses.
Such a woman can’t be caught in a situation where she’s being deprived of her rights, and she’ll be silent.
She believes that her voice matters in every major family decision and will not apologize for expecting mutual respect and consideration.
7. Chasing their dreams
Yes, marriage involves many sacrifices, and when you add having kids to the mix, there are many more.
But a strong woman doesn’t let anything stop her from doing what she wants.
Women like this believe their dreams and ambitions are valid and don’t require permission to chase them, even while balancing family life.
While their role as a wife is important, they don’t make their marriage the bane of their existence.
And they don’t apologize for embracing what makes them special and living a whole, balanced life.
A woman like this will not downplay her achievements to make others feel comfortable; she’d rather celebrate her wins unapologetically.
8. Disappointing unrealistic expectations
When it comes to being a woman and a wife, the world always has so much to say.
Everyone seems to have the best advice for women and wives and a long list of expectations on what they should or shouldn’t be.
However, they can only project and cast those expectations on women who are not confident.
A self-assured wife will reject those societal and cultural pressures to “do it all” or be perfect.
Even if she used to subscribe to them before, the moment she knows better, she lets go without guilt.
9. Parenting choices
These days, there’s so much opinion online on how people think children should be raised.
If they were restricted to online opinions, it’d have been fine.
But some people are transferring it to real life.
Some people see parents with their children and try to tell them what to do and how to raise their kids.
I wouldn’t have minded before, but people are getting bolder with this and even trying to transfer their bizarre mindsets about parenting to some parents.
I’m not saying people can’t offer helpful advice or give constructive feedback.
But it should be done sensibly and within the borders of decency.
People have values they want to pass on to their children and so much more.
Strong wives are also strong moms, and they choose how to raise their children.
They stand firm on parenting decisions that align with their beliefs and don’t apologize for raising their kids in a way they see fit, even if it differs from societal trends.
You can’t make a strong wife feel regretful about these decisions of hers because they come from a deep place of understanding who she is and what she stands for.