One of the areas of my life that has greatly improved over the past few months is my mental health.
That happened because I became more intentional about it and decided that I was done with the cycle of falling in and out of issues like anxiety and depression.
It’s been quite a journey for me, but where I’m at today is a testament to the fact that our habits determine the quality of our lives, and to have a better life, we need to make better choices.
Seeking medical attention is crucial for mental health issues, especially if they’re medically diagnosed, but habits also contribute to it, so better habits will give better results.
Also, if you’re not medically diagnosed with any mental health issue but know that your mental health is not at the best state that it can be, this article will help you.
I’ll be sharing some habits I had to let go of to improve my mental stability.
12 Things I Stopped Doing To Improve My Mental Health
1. Overthinking
If there was a medal for the best in overthinking, I’d get it, at least the version of me that existed months ago.
I was super at overthinking.
I would overthink people’s words and actions, my life’s trajectory, past mistakes, something I said years ago, and all forms of unproductive thoughts.
I could sit down alone and overthink myself into a bad mood.
It was wild!
And every overthinker knows that overthinking goes hand in glove with worrying.
So once I entered into an overthinking process, that was it.
My mental health would take a downward spiral.
Then I decided to say goodbye to overthinking.
I badly wanted the anxiety and indecision to stop, so I started learning to recognize when my thoughts were unproductive and practicing techniques such as meditation and focusing on my present to quiet my mind.
I stopped allowing overthinking to hold me down in chains and let go of unnecessarily ruminating on the past.
2. Isolating myself
One of the greatest tools mental health issues can use to kick your ass is self-isolation.
Keeping to yourself and avoiding people can bring you some peace, but when you do it all the time, even when you need people around, you may sink into a pit.
My feelings of loneliness and depression aggravated whenever I kept to myself and it wasn’t nice at all.
I had to stop it immediately and make an effort to connect with my loved ones and people who cared about me.
I intentionally built supportive relationships and stopped feeling like doing it all by myself.
I now gladly welcome help and ask for it without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.
Whether it’s from friends or professional mental health personnel.
In this mental health journey, self-isolation is your greatest enemy.
3. Depriving myself of sleep
It wasn’t even medically diagnosed insomnia or anything like that, it was just starving myself of sleep and spending my time on unimportant and unproductive things.
I would stay awake chatting with someone who just wanted me for a ‘situationship’ and not an actual relationship, or stay awake worrying about something I can’t change, or just some other unproductive thing.
By morning, I would be tired, sleepy, and almost useless to myself.
It began to affect my efficiency and productivity at work and other areas of my life which did a number on the state of my mind.
I had to stop doing that and start giving myself sufficient sleep every night, keeping my phone far away and giving my body the rest it deserves.
4. Seeking validation
We all have an intrinsic desire to be liked by people, but when that desire becomes excessive, it can be dangerous.
This quote I once read somewhere says it all; “If you live for people’s validation, you’ll die from their rejection”
Validation is great, but it shouldn’t be the bane of your existence, or the yardstick with which you judge your value and essence.
My self-esteem was suffering because I always wanted people’s approval.
When I stopped caring, I became ten times healthier.
5. Talking down on myself
I have to tell you outright that there’s nothing humble or nice about negative self-talk, it’s a terrible thing to do.
It’s great to self-reflect and give yourself feedback and criticism, but it shouldn’t be harsh and vile.
I used to speak to myself harshly, and boy, did it contribute to and heighten my anxiety and depression.
Thankfully I stopped and now I practice self-compassion and kindness.
I deserve kindness and love, and that’s exactly what I give myself.
Replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations can improve my self-esteem and mental health.
If I don’t take care of myself, who will?
6. Excessive use of social media
I was talking with my friend just this morning about how social media is such a blessing to our generation but is fast becoming a curse, too.
Social media is now like a necessary evil that we can’t do without, but if we look at its negative sides, we’ll be tempted to get rid of it completely.
Nothing messed with my mind like social media; the constant information being hurled in my face, the unnecessary updates about people’s lives that I had to keep up with, the subtle comparisons that I began to engage in, and the negative and depressing news everywhere.
After using my phone for hours, I would keep it down and begin to feel all sorts of things.
My mind was clogged, I felt terrible about my life and where I was at, and feelings of inadequacy began to show up.
These things didn’t stop until I decided that it was time to start limiting my social media use.
I made a great decision because it helped reduce stress and improve my mental well-being.
7. Bottling up emotions
“I’m not a confrontational person. I don’t like to call people out. I don’t like talking about sensitive stuff,” used to be my anthem.
I would suppress my emotions and keep things to myself even if it was eating me up.
It wasn’t even always about people who hurt me, it was also about my personal feelings.
Instead of talking about it and finding an outlet to express myself, I would bottle it all in.
In no time, I began to observe that I had increased stress levels and emotional distress.
I had to grow out of that and learn to acknowledge and process my emotions healthily.
Now, I talk to a friend or therapist and I get better results.
8. Perfectionism
Being a perfectionist is not a cute thing, in fact, many times, it’s a dangerous thing.
I know because I used to be there.
I would set unrealistic standards for myself and never be satisfied with my efforts or results.
I was constantly running and never getting to my goal and that made me super stressed.
This one took me some time to overcome and now if I had to advise any perfectionist, I’d say that to promote their mental well-being, they should learn to embrace imperfection and focus on growth and progress rather than perfection.
9. Downplaying my physical health
Our physical and mental health are intertwined.
You can’t forsake one and expect the other to be okay.
I didn’t know this before so I used to neglect myself and ignore my physical well-being.
I just wanted to be fine mentally, but I didn’t know that my lack of attention to my physical health was hindering me from achieving a stable mental state.
If you’re unhealthy physically, it can hurt your mental well-being.
People who eat unhealthy, drink alcohol, live a sedentary lifestyle, and engage in substance abuse are more likely to suffer mental health issues.
I know this from research and personal experience.
When I began to take my self-care seriously and prioritize activities like regular exercise, healthy eating, and sufficient sleep, my mood and energy levels improved.
10. Saying yes when I mean no
There’s a nursery rhyme we used to sing in Nigeria as kids:
“Wherever you go (go go go go) whoever you see, do not say yes, when you mean to say no…”
I think we all need to occasionally sing this nursery rhyme even as adults to remind ourselves that we don’t need to lie to ourselves to please anyone.
This is one thing I stopped doing to improve my mental health.
I would consent to something just to make someone happy but live with the regrets of that decision because it wasn’t what I wanted.
Now, while I try to make people happy and comfortable, I respect my boundaries even more and do not overcommit to saying yes to others’ demands to my detriment.
This has taken burnout and resentment out of my life.
11. Comparing myself with others
I’m sure I don’t need to say much about this.
We all know how ruthless comparison is to our mental health.
It’s brutal and doesn’t care at all.
Now I don’t let it push me to feel inadequate anymore.
I understand that we all have our unique paths as humans and it’s more productive to focus on my strengths and accomplishments than to compare myself with someone else.
This new mindset I have helps promote a positive self-image and strengthens my mental well-being.
12. Letting things get out of hand
Now, I understand that there are things that I can manage and there are things that I just can’t.
I no longer endure warning signs of a mental breakdown and let my mind plummet before looking for a way out of that hole.
Now, I’m more self-aware and observant, and once I sense my mental health declining, I pay attention and try to trace the source.
It’s just being proactive and not dismissing early warning signs of mental health issues because it can lead to worsening symptoms over time.
My mind is super important to me so anything that will put it in a compromised state, I have to wave goodbye.