Personally, I would prefer it if someone said, “I’m sorry,” when they wronged me.
So, if you are the same, I completely understand.
However, I have come to understand that relationships are a give-and-take; if we insist on everything we want, we may damage the relationship.
Sometimes, we need to shift grounds for a relationship to work – as far as the issue is not abusive or toxic.
Some men don’t say “I’m sorry” when they apologize; instead, they find different ways to show remorse and make it up to you.
Now, remember that this is completely different from one who doesn’t feel he is ever wrong or never apologizes.
Here, we are talking about men who, although may not say the three words, are sorry for upsetting you and want to communicate it in alternative ways.
If you are still with me, let’s look at those alternative ways men apologize.
9 Ways Men Apologize Without Saying, “I’m Sorry”
1. Acts Of Service
One of my male friends told me that when he feels bad about something he has done, he tries to make the person’s life easier by helping them out.
So, some men may prefer to show remorse by doing something helpful.
If you have a man like this, you will see him doing more in the house than he usually does.
For instance, he may suddenly take care of the dishes, fill up your gas tank, or fix something you’ve been complaining about.
Some men never feel the urgency that women feel, especially when you ask them to do certain things, but in this case, he might immediately address whatever you ask for.
If he wronged you before doing this, it’s his way of making amends without actually verbalizing it.
He is trying to communicate that he cares and regrets what happened.
2. Buying Gifts
If you grew up in some traditional households, you probably already relate to this.
Growing up, my parents never verbalized their apology, but one way I know they are sorry is when they suddenly turn into Santa Claus, asking me what I want to eat or getting me something they know I like.
This is the same way some men behave.
Buying gifts is one of their go-to ways to apologize.
They may get you flowers, chocolates, or something they know you’ve been meaning to get or craving to eat.
A man who does this hopes the thoughtful present will smoothen things over; he wishes the gift will do the talking.
If your man suddenly surprises you with your favorite snack or that item you’ve been eyeing, that’s probably his version of an apology.
3. Physical Affection
I remember a particular time my boyfriend and I had an argument.
He sent me a message he was coming to see me, but I didn’t reply because I was still pissed.
He showed up at my doorstep anyway, and the first thing he did after I let him in was to hold me tightly.
I mean, we usually greet each other with a hug when we meet, but we usually embrace each other briefly and then let go.
But this time, I knew it was more because he held on until I softened in his arms.
So, some men will pull you into a hug or cuddle up next to you instead of saying, “I’m sorry.”
Others might rub your back, hold your hand, or give you that extra-long hug that my man gave me, hoping you’ll feel his sincerity without him having to stumble over an apology.
He is expressing remorse and also reassuring you that he still cares despite the argument.
So, if your man suddenly becomes extra touchy after a fight, he’s probably trying to make peace.
4. Spending Quality Time
Another way men apologize is by suddenly becoming more available.
You will see him put down his phone to pay more attention or clear his schedule to be with you.
A man will likely do this if he knows quality time is your love language or you’ve been complaining about you guys spending too little time together.
He may suggest a spontaneous date night or offer to binge-watch your favorite show.
All that is an attempt to reconnect and apologize.
5. Fixing The Problem
Men are natural problem-solvers; that’s why you find them offering solutions when you come to them with an issue, even when all you need is for them to listen.
This stems from their need to be the hero of the woman they love.
So, naturally, some of them go straight to problem-solving mode.
For instance, if he forgot your anniversary, he might plan a special dinner the next day, or if he made a hurtful comment, he might start complimenting you more.
They often have a fix-it mindset, so some will immediately resort to that.
While you may want the words, he is probably thinking saying the words don’t mean anything when he should be trying to undo the damage and make things right.
6. Using Humor
Some men are hilarious and will use their natural talent to settle disputes.
If your man is always cracking a joke after a disagreement, that’s his way of diffusing tension and apologizing to you without actually saying the three words.
For example, he might make a silly face, say something playful, or poke fun at himself to make you laugh.
Goofy men, especially, fall into this category; they use jokes to diffuse the situation and lighten the mood.
People like this hate fighting and are always looking for a way for things to be good again.
7. Changing Their Behavior
The best apologies aren’t words anyway; they are actions.
Some people will shower you with “I’m sorry” and then never change their behavior.
So, some men would rather make sure they don’t repeat the same mistake.
They will rather listen to what you are complaining about and make changes.
Instead of the words, you will see him actively working to be better because he is remorseful and wants to make sure you are never upset over that issue again.
8. Engage In Deep Conversations
I have a female friend who does this.
Any time we have an issue, she requests for or gives space, depending on who is wrong.
Then she comes back for a conversation.
Her reasoning is that she wants to talk so we are never in that space again.
I actually appreciate that we can both air our views calmly, see where we are wrong, apologize, and not do that to each other again.
Your man may be like my friend; he might want to talk about feelings to understand why you were upset so he doesn’t do that again.
You will find him asking questions like, “How did that make you feel?”, “What can I do differently?” or “What do you want me to do to make you feel better?”
If he does this, that means his way of apologizing is to make things right through communication.
9. Random Acts Of Kindness
Sometimes, men’s apology comes in the form of unexpected kindness.
For example, he might bring you breakfast in bed, send you a sweet text, or take over a chore you usually do.
The little gestures are his way of making amends.
While he might not verbalize his apology, he’s trying to show it through thoughtful actions.
Doing nice things for you is his way of making things right again.