If you’ve been married long enough, you most likely already know that when it comes to arguments, anything can cause them.
Something as little as a cup or a towel can lead to an argument that becomes a fight so big you begin to question your choice of partner.
Anything can lead to a fight, and this happens to the best of us, too.
No matter how in love a couple is, there will always be opportunities for arguments.
What differentiates a happy couple from every other couple is how intentional they are about avoiding certain fights.
Happy couples are not necessarily argument-free, but they tend to avoid unnecessary conflict over matters that don’t truly matter.
You can make your marriage happier by avoiding these arguments, too.
8 Things Happy Couples Never Argue About
1. Doing the dishes
You don’t know how much doing laundry or doing the dishes can be an issue until you have a partner.
Some couples allow arguments about little habits around the house to get the best of them.
I’ve seen arguments about dishwashing methods spiral into big fights between couples, and at the end of the fight, they’re left wondering how they got here.
It’s totally not worth it.
Minor housekeeping habits are not things that happy couples argue about.
I mean, there are so many bigger things in life to face.
As a couple, you have bigger fish to fry than arguing over whether the toothpaste cap is on or off or whether the toilet seat is up or down.
It’s way wiser to compromise or just laugh about it.
There’s no need to squabble over how the other person loads the dishwasher, folds laundry, or slices bread; it’s just not that deep.
If it gets done, it gets done.
2. Personal opinions and preferences
Granted, for a couple to live in peace with each other, they have to agree.
But this does not mean that they should be clones of each other.
They’re allowed to have personal opinions and preferences that don’t affect the relationship.
If one likes tea and the other prefers coffee, or one enjoys thrillers while the other loves rom-coms, happy couples don’t fight over it.
They respect individual differences without forcing each other to change.
It’s useless to oppose each other over every little difference, like movie choices, fashion choices, or natural personality traits.
Happy couples know better than to fight over random opinions that don’t change their lives in any way.
Like my husband would say, “Whether pineapple belongs on pizza or not does not pay our bills so why expend emotions and time arguing about it?”
And I couldn’t agree more.
So yes, they might disagree about which superhero is the strongest, but these debates are fun, but they never turn into real fights.
3. How they express love
I see people online talk a lot about love languages and how couples shouldn’t express love in the ways they want, but in the ways their partners feel loved.
I understand and agree, but it shouldn’t be a source of conflict.
For instance, if a husband’s love language is acts of service, and he spends a lot of time folding his wife’s clothes, she should appreciate it and not get mad because he didn’t buy her flowers, which is what she would have preferred.
She can communicate her expectations but still appreciates his expressions of love.
Couples who live a happy life understand that love languages differ, so they appreciate love in all forms—whether it’s words, gifts, acts of service, quality time, or physical touch without demanding it only in their preferred way.
4. Each other’s pasts
This is one mistake many people make, not just as couples but as individuals generally.
We tend to focus on the past and spend time regretting and wishing certain things did or didn’t happen.
I’ve come to realize how much of a waste of time this action is.
It just leads to a buildup of negative emotions and unpleasant feelings, making you hate yourself.
This is similar to when a couple fights about each other’s pasts.
It’s one of the most unproductive things to ever do.
Neither of them can go back in time to change things, but they still spend time bickering at each other about old relationships, past mistakes, or childhood experiences.
What’s the point?
There’s absolutely none.
Happy couples know this, so they refrain from it.
They don’t drag up each other’s pasts in a way that causes tension.
They accept that the past is unchangeable, so they channel their energy into building their future together.
5. Each other’s successes
You’re never going to find a couple who are united arguing with each other about their wins.
I’m always baffled when I see this happen amongst people who claim to be in love and committed to each other.
Isn’t it weird to feel anything but positive and happy feelings about your partner’s achievements?
Sadly, that’s not what we see in some marriages.
Some couples get into a fight when one of them makes significant progress or gets a major win.
Many things can be responsible for this: insecurity and jealousy on the part of the other person, lack of unity, and so on.
To be happy, couples need to celebrate each other’s wins instead of feeling threatened or jealous.
There’s no competition; this is your partner, so you’re on the same team.
A win for one is a win for both.
6. Every little expense
Money talks can be very sensitive and volatile.
For some reason, they usually end up in arguments.
Perhaps because both parties sometimes have different mindsets about money, trying to marry a different orientation is not always easy.
It’s important to discuss big financial decisions and be on the same page when it comes to money.
But happy couples don’t fight over every coffee purchase or occasional treat.
That’s a recipe for a frustrating and sad life.
They simply communicate and trust each other to make reasonable choices.
7. Who texted first
Arguing about who should text first is so twenty years ago.
No one should still be doing that.
When my husband and I were dating, we once fell into the trap.
We were in a long-distance relationship and often relied on calls and texts.
There was a day when we were both so busy that we didn’t check on each other, which wasn’t unusual.
By the time we realized it, twenty-four hours had passed, and the silence, due to genuine busyness, became a “Let him text first” and “Let her text first” situation.
We both kept waiting for each other to reach out and when he caved in and reached out, our conversation was a full-blown argument.
We spent precious time that we would have used for gisting and catching up arguing.
It’s totally not worth it.
Happy couples don’t keep score on who initiates conversations, calls, or dates or who apologizes first.
It’s not an ego battle.
They just focus on the joy of being with each other, not the timing.
8. Social media activities
It’s just social media; it’s never that deep.
You’re unlikely to see happy couples stressing over every like, follow, or DM their partners make online.
This does not support or encourage couples to be unreasonable on social media or to disrespect their partners on social media.
Not at all.
It’s just that happy couples prioritize their real-life relationship over online interactions.
They don’t allow social media to disrupt their real life.
I remember when a couple with a huge social media following shared some things about their marriage, and some people started trolling the wife; she just moved on and continued living her life.
Her husband also didn’t stop doting on his wife because he understood that social media was not their real life.
Happy couples have high emotional intelligence and are able to steward their relationships nicely as well as shield them from infiltrations, so they never see each other as an enemy.
They are a solid team, and this keeps flimsy arguments at bay because they cherish their love bond and peace above all.
The thing about little arguments is that they steal your moments and build up into bigger ones.
So, couples who want to remain happy avoid them.
They don’t avoid disagreements altogether, and they choose their battles wisely.
They focus on understanding and love over winning, ego, and petty conflicts.
This doesn’t mean that they do not have occasions of conflict, but they handle it differently.
Every conflict makes their relationship better and their understanding of each other stronger.