“Why Am I Obsessed With A Married Man?” – 7 Reasons

It’s almost expected to see one or two women who are interested in only married men and want nothing to do with single men, but obsession is way stronger and more serious than mere interest.

If you’re obsessed with a married man, it means that you’re always thinking about him and showing more concern than usual for him.

As a woman, do you fall within this category and want to know why you feel that way?

Or you just want to know the driving force behind some women’s obsession with married men.

Whichever the case, we want to discuss the reasons why some women are obsessed with married men in this article.

Please read to the end to better understand why it’s happening to you or is a thing.

“Why Am I Obsessed With A Married Man?”: 7 Reasons 

1. With this married man, there are no strings attached

Why am I obsessed with a married man
You might be obsessed with a particular married man because with him, there are no strings attached.

Sometimes, when a woman starts having an affair with a married man, she is not expecting a serious relationship with him.

Perhaps due to lousy love experiences in the past, some women are not even interested in having a romantic relationship.

So, when they begin an affair with a married man, they don’t expect it to be stable or be like the conventional relationship.

She may just want to be in the relationship to while away time while focusing on things that are important to her, such as her studies or career.

It’s not out of place to say that a romantic relationship is absent from her list of priorities.

You may ask, “Why then do they go into a relationship with a married man at all if they don’t want a serious relationship with him?”

The answer is quite simple.

Although these women are looking for some emotional support from men, they don’t want to be with single men because there’s a chance that it might blossom into a relationship.

Being with a married man lets her enjoy a relationship with no strings attached.

That way, there’s a high chance that the relationship won’t turn into anything serious.

For some women in relationships with married men, the relationship dynamics change at some point, and it becomes unfavorable to them.

That’s why there are cases of women dating married men, and these men forbid them from seeing a single man or another man altogether.

Worse still, he might even forbid her from getting married as long as they’re still dating.

It can also be that they’ve fallen in love with each other, thereby making their relationship more complicated.

But you can’t relate to any of these instances because the married man you’re dating wants no strings attached – no feelings or commitments.

You might become obsessed with him when you realize that the dating pool is messed up, even with married men.

You realize he’s one of the few married men who can give you what you want, so you do all you can to keep him to yourself.

Well, apart from his wife.

2. You see him as the ideal man

Why am I obsessed with a married man
You might be obsessed with a married man because you see him as the ideal man.

Some men have a phobia of commitment, and many women (including you) have had dealings with these men in the past.

Your encounters with such men leave you puzzled and wondering why they’re scared to commit to a relationship.

Meeting a married man who might have indicated an interest in you changes your perception of him.

To you, he’s capable and ready to commit.

You reason that by being married, he’s used to living with a woman and understands, to a great extent, how women function and think.

In your spectrum, you place him better and higher than single men because you believe he understands women better.

To you, being married makes him more mature than some single men.

You may also judge him by the PDA with his wife, not minding what really goes on in the marriage behind closed doors.

If he dotes on his wife in public, you’ll see him as thoughtful and caring, and it’ll endear him to you the more.

In your mind, you’ll view him as an ideal man, making you become obsessed with him.

3. You’re flattered by the attention you get from him

Why am I obsessed with a married man
One of the reasons you are obsessed with a married man is that you’re flattered by the attention you get from him.

To some women, getting attention from married men is flattery, boosting their egos tremendously.

For reasons that can’t be explained, some women value the compliments that come from married men more than the ones from single men.

Paying compliments comes naturally to some married men.

They know how to read the room and the right things to say at the right time to make you blush and smile.

Perhaps it’s because they live with women and know the right buttons to press with them.

The married man in question may fall into this category.

And maybe you’re not used to being told such sweet, soothing, and flattery words.

To make matters worse, he flatters you and tells you he means every word.

So you feel special and on top of the world and look forward to seeing him at every opportunity just to hear him flatter you.

You see yourself looking out for him unconsciously because he makes you feel good about yourself with his words.

And that’s how obsession develops.

4. He seems to be in control of his life more

Why am I obsessed with a married man
You may be obsessed with a married man because he appears to be in control of his life more.

Most times, married men are more settled in life than their single counterparts.

Being married, they may be more financially stable, have steady sources of income, and possibly have their own houses.

If this is the reason for your obsession with a married man, you might be responding to your need to be attracted to a man who can provide for you.

5. The thrill of doing something forbidden

Why am I obsessed with a married man
You might be obsessed with a married man because of the thrill of doing something forbidden.

In the dating pool, married people (in this context, married men) are the forbidden fruits.

Perhaps you enjoy the adrenaline rush of stealing away with your married man to an unknown location where you can spend time alone, hiding the affair from family and friends and the risk of getting caught.

You’ll be driven by the thrill of living a double life because nobody must know about your affair.

You don’t want the affair to end because it’ll mean that the fun part of your life is over.

The dangers that dating a married man poses are fun to you, and it heightens your resolve to do whatever you can to keep him in the relationship.

6. You may be affected by your parents’ stormy marriage

Why am I obsessed with a married man
If you’re obsessed with a married man, it can be that you’re affected by the bad marriage of your parents.

If you saw all the fights, arguments, and dark sides of your parent’s marriage and eventually saw them fall apart, it would negatively impact your view of marriage.

Seeing all the negativities and watching their marriage hit the rocks might make you stop trusting the authenticity of the marriage.

Most times, people from broken homes don’t see marriage as a sacred union that shouldn’t be toyed with.

Their bad encounter with their parents’ marriages has taken away the guilt factor that should have stopped them from going into an affair with a married man.

You might even want to remain in the relationship till his marriage breaks apart because of the affair.

You want to sit back and watch a man’s marriage end because it happened to your parents.

Scratch that.

You want to be the reason why his marriage ends because your parents suffered the same fate.

7. You need a father figure

Why am I obsessed with a married man
Your obsession with a married man may be because you need a father figure in your life.

It can be an indication that there are deeper issues at play.

Perhaps you have “Daddy issues,” which are psychological problems that come from the absence of a father figure in a girl’s life.

When you enter the dating pool later in life, these issues from your childhood will manifest.

Some women who were rejected by their fathers earlier in life tend to look for and attach themselves to men who have similar characteristics to their fathers.

The top thing they look for in a man is if he treats them like their fathers did.

They either have affairs with married men or fall for emotionally unavailable men.

Most times, there’s a massive gap between the age of such a woman and the man she’s in a relationship with.

She might even enjoy being dominated by the man and mistake it for affection.

And because he gives you the attention you need, you try your best to do no wrong in his eyes to prevent him from leaving you.


Although I believe that your happiness is paramount and should be the goal in your relationship, it’s also important to see facts as what they are – facts.

If you’re obsessed with a married man, you might be seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses.

Irrespective of your reasons for being obsessed, only a tiny percentage of married men want to leave their wives.

If you’re obsessed with a married man, you should make a quick assessment of the possibility of having a future with such a man.

There’s a high chance that this married man you’re obsessed with has some other women on lockdown, too, with the same behaviors that endeared him to you.

And there is his wife.

And probably kids, too.

You should reconsider the relationship.

There’s no winning for you in this dangerous game you’re playing.

Honestly, you may need to get professional help with the obsessive bit of it, as it usually indicates a deep-rooted psychological issue or unhealed trauma.

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