7 Signs You Are Just Wasting Your Life With Him

As the saying goes, “You can never recycle wasted time.”

No one ever goes into a relationship with the intention of it being a dead-end.

We all want to experience love that’s long-lasting and genuine.

Sometimes, our search for the love we deserve makes us get into and remain in situations that directly oppose what we desire.

But why does this happen?

Most times, instead of looking at the reality in front of us, we choose to believe in the potential of what can be.

You’re in a relationship with a guy who ticks most of your boxes.

You’ve never experienced the kind of chemistry that’s between the two of you, so it won’t be wise for you to let him slip away from your grasp.

You’re well aware that he’s not on the same page with you, but you hope to get him there with a little push here and some encouragement there.

Perhaps if he gets to see how wonderful you are, or if you can help him get over his ex who left him shattered, he’ll step up and step into exactly who you want him to be.

I’ve seen many women delude themselves in this manner, and it has never ended well with any of them.

Refuse to be lured by the possibility of what could be.

Read the situation exactly as it is here and now, and decide your next line of action from your deductions.

To help you achieve this, first, you must get acquainted with signs you are just wasting your life with him.

Without wasting time, let’s see the signs that he’s not going to commit to you, and you’re only wasting your time with him.

7 Signs You Are Just Wasting Your Life With Him

1. He has told you that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship

I can’t stop saying this – if any guy says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, please believe him.

In most cases, he means he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

It can also be that he’s not ready to be in any relationship with anyone yet.

Perhaps he loves being single, or he’s not emotionally ready to be in a relationship, or he wants to focus on his career or other things that matter more to him.

Whatever his reasons are, they don’t matter.

They don’t change anything.

However, facts do.

And the fact remains that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship.

2. He’s sending you mixed signals

One of the most common signs you are wasting your life with him is that he sends you mixed signals.

He’s so into you one day; the next day, he’s acting so distant and cold.

He can’t seem to stay away from you for about a week; he’s all over you and suffocating you with love and attention.

Then, he disappears without warning and contacts for days or weeks at a stretch.

Sometimes, you can swear that he’s in love with you, and some other times, you feel like you’re just a nuisance to him.

What is really going on with him?

When a guy sends you mixed signals, it shows he’s uncertain about you.

He’s not sure about you.

He likes you, is attracted to you, and enjoys being around you, but is not sure that he wants to be in a relationship with you.

3. He flirts with other women in your presence

If he flirts openly with other women right in front of you, it’s one of the signs you are just wasting your life with him.

As they say, “Action speaks louder than words.”

We often express our truest and most profound feelings through actions more than words.

And this is true mostly when it comes to men.

While a man might not tell you directly that he doesn’t want a serious relationship with you, he’ll show you through his actions.

And one easy way to pass his message across in unambiguous terms is by flirting with other women right in your presence.

You might think that he’s doing it to make you jealous because he loves you so much.

But it’s more likely that he’s showing you that he’s a free man and can do as he wants.

4. He talks about his future without you

If he talks about his future and you don’t feature in it, it’s a major red flag.

Let’s say he talks about moving to another continent for some years.

Or he talks about moving cities and changing jobs.

He can also talk about leaving the city to move into a suburb.

His plans are good, but the only problem is that he’s making these plans without you in the picture.

He doesn’t even ask for your opinion.

He just shares his plans with you and doesn’t care if you want to stay to witness it happen for him or not.

5. Your relationship is stagnant

Perhaps you’ve been at the same point in your relationship since it started, which can be months or years ago.

You’re not getting closer or bonding better as a couple.

It can also be that he has refused to take the next step to take the relationship to the next level.

This can be making your relationship official, moving in together, getting engaged, or setting a date for your wedding ceremony.

You’re in a relationship, but you have no idea where it’s heading.

Even when you try to bring it up in conversations, he gives you vague replies, deflects the topic, or flares up to avoid talking about it.

6. He’s not open with you

If a man is really invested in a woman, he’ll be open to her and share his true self with her.

He’ll let her see him for who he truly is.

Perhaps your conversations with him have never passed surface level, and he has never been vulnerable or open to you.

It shows that he’s probably not invested in you.

In the same vein, don’t mix up a guy who is serious about you and someone who only has vulnerability, emotions, and feelings to bring to the table.

It’s also one of the signs of a guy wasting your time.

The guy with the vulnerability and emotions is a walking bag of mess who only looks for a shoulder to lean on while he sorts himself out and puts himself together.

7. Your instincts tell you that something is off

You’re in a relationship, but you know that it’s not how it’s meant to be.

Your guts keep telling you that something is off and true love shouldn’t feel this way.

But you don’t want to leave and start afresh with someone new.

You believe that you’re already in the relationship, so you have to try to figure it out and make it work.

To you, it doesn’t matter if it means wasting more of your time.

What To Do If Perceive You Are Just Wasting Your Life With Him

Now that you’ve gone through the list and are quite sure that this guy is not serious about you and you are just wasting your life with him, what’s next for you?

You’re in a dead-end relationship, so what do you do?

The only thing to do when a guy is wasting your time is to leave the relationship.

Please don’t wait around or try to prove your worth to him.

Also, please don’t pretend to be someone you think he wants.

If you walk away from the relationship and he lets you go, you should be satisfied with knowing that it was never going to work in the first place.

Most people don’t let someone they love go without putting up a fight.

But it’s great if you leave, and he chases after you, steps up, and makes some changes.

Just be careful of guys who come running back, put up a changed front for some time, and slowly slip back to the old pattern.

How To Never Waste Your Time Again With Any Guy

The best way to ensure you don’t ever waste your time with any guy again is by having high self-esteem.

Know precisely what you want and know that you deserve it.

If you want to be in a committed relationship, don’t ever settle for the crumbs that some guy has to throw at you.

Similarly, you may need to check that you are not battling unhealed trauma or need therapy.

Seek a professional therapist if you need one to hold your hands through the journey of wholeness.

Don’t deceive yourself into holding onto less, thinking that better will never come your way.

And don’t settle for less because you feel it’s better than being alone.

Although being alone can be lonely sometimes, being in the wrong relationship can cause irreparable damage.

So, what will it be for you?

The love you want is very much available and can get to you.

You only need to know exactly what you want and stop wasting time on what you don’t want.