Infidelity, in whatever form it comes, always thrives on secrecy.
Be it an office romance, an old flame that was rekindled, or a one-night stand, the parties involved usually do not want their cover blown.
People who have affairs hope that, somehow, they never get found out.
Sometimes, they are lucky because their affair stays a secret and ends peacefully.
But most times, that is not the case, as nothing stays secret for long.
The partner of the person involved in the extramarital affair usually finds out about it, or someone else tells them.
If you have ever wondered or asked yourself how affairs are discovered, I’ve got you.
12 Ways Affairs Are Discovered
1. Text Messages
Text messages are one of the easiest ways affairs are discovered.
With or without intentionally checking, a spouse can easily find out that their partner is having an affair from their text messages.
Some people intentionally go through their partner’s phones.
Others discover accidentally when their partner leaves their phone unlocked or when they are using their partner’s phone for something else.
The other woman or man may send a message that gives it all away.
2. Social media
In this era of social media, it is very easy for people to cheat, but it is equally easy for them to be found out.
Affairs are discovered daily on social media because of the ease and access that social media gives.
There are many ways affairs are discovered on social media.
A simple post on Facebook or a story share on Instagram can give a lot away about somebody’s “hidden” affair.
Also, somebody who knows somebody who knows another person who knows the legitimate spouse or partner may stumble across a picture or a social media post made by the other man or woman.
3. Lies
It is almost impossible to successfully have an affair without lying to your partner.
Ironically, these same lies are one of the most common ways affairs are exposed.
While some people are great liars and have perfected the art of hiding information without anybody suspecting it, others are not so great at this.
After they tell a few lies, their partner immediately knows that they are not speaking the truth and that something is up.
Many people, especially women, find out that their partners are having affairs by the lies they tell.
4. Friends and Family Members
A lot of affairs are discovered through family members and friends.
Sometimes when friends know that a person is cheating on their partner, they may not tell on them for fear of being an intruder.
But that doesn’t happen all the time.
It is more common for them to inform the partner being cheated on.
Many people with cheating partners discover that their partners are cheating through friends and family members who care enough to let them know.
5. An Investigative Partner
When people have affairs, they are usually not as careful and secretive as they think they are.
They leave many cues and trails behind them.
This is why one of the most common ways affairs are found out is by a suspecting and investigating partner.
A suspicious partner can choose to spy on their spouse to find out what they’re hiding.
People go about this in many ways, and technology makes it increasingly easier for people to track their partners.
Some people hire a private detective, which can be even a friend or an acquaintance, to spy on their partner and give them feedback.
Others go as far as putting a tracking device in the partner’s car to know where they are at every time of the day.
Another way people choose to go about investigating their partners is by putting tracking apps, software, or bugs in their partners’ phones.
That way, they can read their text messages and access their calls.
The options available are numerous.
5. Calls.
When the other woman or other man fails to stick with the planned time for calling, they can let the cat out of the bag.
People discover their partner is having an affair when they receive calls at odd hours.
Or when the calls get too consistent, and they feel uncomfortable answering them in the presence of their partner.
6. Caught Red-handed
Many people have met with the rude shock that their partner is cheating on them by catching them red-handed.
This is one of the most hurtful ways to discover that a partner is cheating.
It is also a surefire way because seeing is believing, and there is no way a partner caught red-handed in bed with another person can deny cheating.
Many people have walked in on their partners, either at home or in other places, engaging in sexual acts with other people.
This is no doubt a common way affairs are discovered.
7. Shady Bank Activities
When people have affairs, usually their money is involved.
This makes their finances another way to let the cat out of the bag.
Their partner can easily notice shady or suspicious financial activities, expenditures, and purchases.
This can make them probe or investigates further.
8. Changed Behavior
Changes in the behavior or appearance of one’s partner can be indicative of an affair.
People having affairs may change in some areas and begin to act, speak or dress in certain ways to impress their new lover.
Their legitimate partner can notice these changes and find out why.
9. Sexual or Intimacy Issues With Spouse
Affairs are sometimes discovered when the cheater’s marriage begins to get affected sexually.
Their spouse may notice that they no longer initiate sex with them or have become indifferent about their sex life.
Worse still, they may get diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease.
When this happens, the secret affair might just come to light.
10. Disconnection From Spouse.
Apart from sexual disconnection, the cheater’s legitimate partner may notice other forms of disconnection.
They may all of a sudden become distant and unavailable.
Their new love interest takes all their time and attention, leaving nothing for their partner.
The partner, noticing this, may probe further and discover what is going on.
11. The Cheating Partner Confesses
Sometimes, affairs are not necessarily “discovered” because the cheating person comes clean willingly.
People have found out that their partner is cheating from the mouth of the partner themselves.
Either out of guilt, fear, or a desire to repent, the cheater comes clean about their secret activities.
12. The other guy or mistress tells
Whether in a bid to spite the legitimate person or from a place of guilt and regret, the other woman or man being cheated on can let the secret out.
Wives have found out about their cheating husbands from their mistresses.
Also, men have found out that their wife was having an affair from the man she was having it with.
Although less common, this is another way affairs are discovered.
When affairs are discovered, most times, the effects on the parties involved and their loved ones are devastating.
Trust is lost, and marriages can be destroyed.
Many people who have had affairs say that the consequences are not worth the momentary thrill and excitement they got from the affair.