Everything that has a beginning must surely have an end, but this is not the philosophy of most people concerning marriage.
We love happily ever after’s for real!
Traditional marriage vows have that line that says, “Till death do us part.”
Unfortunately, death is not the only end that can come to a marital union; divorce is another.
Is there a way to know if your marriage will end in a divorce?
Yes, there is.
While there are no hundred percent assurances anywhere in life, there are signs that differentiate a marriage that will last from one that won’t.
If you suspect that your marriage is not solid and may crash soon, you can judge by the signs below.
13 Devastating Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce
1. You have the divorce mindset from the beginning
When people see divorce as an option, it will likely become their choice.
People whose marriages last forever many times are people who went into it with the mindset that divorce is not an option.
Warren Barfield puts it so succinctly in the lyrics of his song “Love is not a fight.”
“Love is not a fight but is something worth fighting for.”
The truth is that no marriage is always a bed of roses.
Just as you will have challenges in your life if you are single, you’ll also have challenges in marriage,
But do not give up on yourself or throw in the towel just because things get hard.
So many times, the challenge that confronts marriages just requires self-awareness, the willingness to change, and seeking professional help when necessary.
But if somewhere at the back of your mind, you already have the idea that you can walk out anytime you want, then you’re very likely going to do that when you face issues that seem serious.
2. Fantasizing about divorce
Considering divorce is one thing, but fantasizing about it?
This is extreme.
If this sounds strange to you, it’s probably because you don’t do it, and that’s a good thing because it can mean that your marriage may not be as bad as you think.
But a lot of people do it; they have frequent thoughts about divorce or separation while being married.
They imagine how beautiful their lives would be if they were not married to this person.
They forget that the grass is only greener where you water it, not on the other side.
If this is you or your partner, there’s a high chance your marriage is heading for the rocks soon.
3. There’s zero tolerance and endurance
Forgiveness is super important in every marriage, but one thing that is even more important is tolerance.
Forgiveness helps you let go of the wrongs your partner does to you, but tolerance is more needed sometimes because it enables you to deal with your partner’s little flaws and shortcomings that may never change.
If you and your partner do not have a high level of endurance and tolerance, you will likely not be together for long.
You’ll soon get fed up and throw in the towel.
4. Thorns are allowed to grow
Your marriage will very likely end in a divorce if you do not intentionally tend it and uproot thorns.
By thorns here, I mean unhealthy habits, toxic patterns, resentment, anger, abuse, manipulation, third-party interference, and other negative attributes that affect the health of marriages.
It is similar to leaving your plants to be overrun by weeds.
When these things are allowed to grow unhindered, they will choke the life out of the union and may eventually lead to the end of the marriage.
5. You keep separating
I once heard someone say that he doesn’t subscribe to separation in marriages because it inevitably leads to divorce.
While I do not believe that that statement is hundred percent accurate, I understand where he is coming from.
When a marriage starts getting exposed to separation, it is more likely to end in divorce.
Am I saying that marriages do not recover from separation and even come back stronger?
Not at all.
Many couples separate for some time and can come back stronger.
But this isn’t always the case.
Separation often ends up being the window that lets divorce in.
It’s worse if you and your partner get separated frequently and often.
One day, you’ll walk away from each other, and it won’t be temporary this time; it’ll be forever.
6. Lack of communication
A persistent communication breakdown that is not rectified can be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Couples sometimes trivialize the impact of communication in a marriage.
When communication goes down or couples are unable to resolve conflicts, that’s a dangerous sign.
Stonewalling and emotionally detaching from each other can weaken a marriage; with time, the couple may become so distant that they choose to go their separate ways.
7. Lack of support
Most people can not endure being isolated for long; it begins to affect them drastically.
It’s worse if this lack of support is coming from their partner.
A marriage where one or both parties show a lack of support for the other is a marriage hanging by a thread.
If one person constantly feels unsupported or unappreciated by their partner, they may give up on the union soon.
8. Continuous conflict
One of the most common reasons for divorce between couples is the interesting phrase “irreconcilable differences.”
This means that they have tried to manage their differences to no avail.
They most likely have had a lot of arguments that were frequent and remained unresolved for long.
Does this sound like you and your partner?
If yes, then I’m afraid your marriage may be at risk.
When a marriage becomes a hub for contempt where both parties constantly harshly criticize each other, it’s safe to say that that is the beginning of the end.
9. Infidelity
Cheating is a deal breaker for most people, and understandably so.
When infidelity is introduced into a marriage, there’s no limit as to how far things can go in the wrong direction.
If the cheating happened once, it may be forgivable.
But if it becomes perpetual where one or both partners keep engaging in extramarital affairs, the marriage may fold up soon.
10. Different values and goals
Irreconcilable differences sometimes just mean that you’re going in different directions.
You are both allowed to be different, but things may not go well when those differences are fundamental and can’t be married, such as having completely divergent life goals.
It’s often said that you can’t have two captains on a ship, and that’s because if the ship will make progress, then it is supposed to have a definite direction that every passenger agrees with.
Fundamental differences in life goals, values, or priorities in a marriage will have both parties going in opposite directions, tearing the marriage apart.
11. Lack of Intimacy
The absence of physical, emotional, mental, and all other forms of intimacy is bad for a marriage.
If it doesn’t immediately lead to a dissolution of the marriage, it will eventually do so if not worked on.
A significant decrease in physical or emotional closeness between couples makes a marriage weak and susceptible to anything.
12. Financial strain
Money is one of the leading causes of divorce in our world today.
And no, I don’t mean that your marriage will end if there’s no money to spend.
What I mean is that financial issues can have severe effects on marriages if not handled well.
This is true especially because even though marriage is beautiful, it costs a lot to maintain.
The cost of family living, children feeding, education, rent, and so on are significant financial investments that couples must make in marriage.
Constant stress or disagreements over finances, especially when children are in the picture, create a lot of resentment that can eventually break the union.
13. Feeling stuck or trapped
If you or your partner begin to feel like your marriage is restricting your airflow, that marriage may be about to end.
What do you do when you feel suffocated in a place?
You leave the place to get some air.
Even people who aren’t claustrophobic can’t remain trapped for long; eventually, they will break loose for comfort.
Feeling like your marriage is holding you back in life, like there is no way to improve the relationship, can mean that marriage is about to bite the dust.
I have to say that there are two ways you can look at this article: it can be a confirmation that your marriage is tethering at the edge of a cliff.
Or it can be a wake-up call, a list of things to be worked on in your marriage.
But if you’re noticing one or more of these signs in your marriage, then trouble is brewing.
However, it is up to you and your partner.
It’s important to seek professional help and work on the relationship if you and your partner are willing to do so.