Does it make sense if he chose her over me but wants to be friends?
If the question above is your current situation, you need to read this article to the end.
A guy who broke up with you because of someone else but still begs you to remain friends with him probably doesn’t want to cut ties with you.
If you choose to remain friends with him, you give him the opportunity to keep taking care of you.
It means that you still occupy a special place in his heart.
But does this mean that he still loves you?
If he’s in a romantic relationship with another woman and wants the two of you to be friends, it may be that you give out the energy he prefers, and so he loves spending time with you.
It might be that he likes you, but not in a romantic way like before.
If he loved you so much, he wouldn’t have ended things with you.
It’s also possible that both of you are better off as friends.
You can take solace in the fact that you matter so much to him if he insists on your remaining in his life.
There are three main reasons why a man who is your ex or someone you have feelings for will want to be friends with you.
They are:
- He needs a physical boost.
- He needs emotional assistance.
- His new relationship is below his expectations.
Now, let’s delve in and see these reasons in detail.
He Chose Her Over Me But Wants To Be Friends: 3 Major Reasons
1. He needs a physical boost
Everyone has different ways of responding to a breakup, and getting physical support from each other is one of them.
He may want to be friends with you because he’s hoping that you guys will be friends with benefits.
It’s a choice you make for yourself and don’t need any coercion.
Most times, the true purpose of a male ex who asks to be friends with you is to begin an affair with you, away from the one he already has with another woman.
Many people have admitted to having sex with their exes at least once after they were separated.
These people also claim that staying friends and sleeping with exes is a common occurrence among couples.
2. He needs emotional assistance
Although he’s in a relationship with someone else, he still needs to be friends with you because he needs emotional assistance.
As I mentioned earlier, different people respond differently to their breakups.
While some people act like all is well during the day and cry themselves to sleep at night, some will do everything to avoid their ex, there are people who will go into a new relationship immediately, and some others may go into depression.
Then, there are also guys who want to be friends with you, their ex.
If the breakup was peaceful and you both don’t feel awkward around each other, then it’s not a big deal to be friends.
However, one thing about this type of friendship is that it’ll be one-sided.
What this means is that you’ll keep hearing about his feelings and the way he feels better whenever he talks with you or hangs out with you.
In this case, he wants to be friends with you because he needs emotional assistance.
He’ll choose to stay in contact with you as a friend because you were once romantically involved with him, and you understand him to a great extent.
3. His new relationship is below his expectations
When a guy chooses another girl over you, it just means that he thinks she’s better than you.
What I’m trying to say is that he believes he will get more satisfaction from his new relationship than he ever did when he was with you.
He believes that he’s perfectly fine without you, and in his head, you should be the one feeling miserable and pining for him.
Funny enough, you’re his first port of call whenever the going gets tough between him and his girlfriend.
He may ask that both of you become friends because he lacks both emotional and physical support.
Wonder why your ex keeps finding his way back to you whenever he’s going through a rough patch with his girlfriend?
Guys usually go back to who they are comfortable with, and this doesn’t include their family members and friends.
How possible is becoming friends with my ex?
The possibility of being friends with your ex-boyfriend goes two ways.
Here they are:
- Being friends with your ex will possibly work out
- Being friends with your ex will not work
Let’s see the possibilities in full detail:
1. Being friends with your ex will possibly work out
When you redefine the rules guiding the friendship and stick to them religiously, I think the friendship will work just fine and last long.
When you become friends under conditions that work, you’ll find out that both of you will achieve one of the most special things that’s hard to find these days in romantic relationships – support.
Humans are naturally self-centered and selfish, and so, most of the time, when your ex asks to be friends with you, it’s probably because he knows that he stands to gain a lot from you.
Don’t ever have anything sexual to do with your ex at the end of the relationship if you want to maintain a wholesome friendship with him.
It’s either you don’t get a platonic friendship with him, or you get used to having one-night stands with him.
Bear in mind, however, that things will get complicated for the friendship whenever you want to get into a new relationship.
2. Being friends with your ex will not work
Let’s look at the flip side of things – you can’t get through to your ex-boyfriend whenever you want, especially if he is in a new relationship.
So, agreeing to be friends with him will translate to weakening yourself because you can’t get him to love you easily once he puts you in the friend zone.
So if you’re agreeing to be his friend with the sole intent of winning him back, it may be next to impossible to achieve.
Conclusion
There’s nothing good about the situation – he chose her over me but wants to be friends.
Only a few men value their friendship with an ex after a breakup.
Most of them are offering a hand of friendship because of what they’ll gain from you.
Don’t fall into that trap except you’re not ready to move on from your previous relationship with him.