Some years ago, the statement, ‘Don’t let your partner or spouse stop you from finding your true love.’ trended massively on the social media space.
Although it sounds ridiculous, some people are bent on taking it seriously, which is why some cheating married men will want to leverage it to deceive and lie to their affair partners.
People who are serious about it are quick to cite Prince Charles and Camilla Bowles and Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys as worthy examples of affairs blossoming into marriages.
However, the truth remains that it’s only a very small percentage of ladies having affairs with married men that end up getting married to such men eventually.
The odds are stacked against such a lady, especially as the married man usually has no intentions of leaving his wife for her.
For these married men, being in these relationships and cheating on their wives is a means to an end.
They’re using these relationships to make up for what they feel is lacking in their marriages.
To keep stringing their affair partners along and giving them hope for something that won’t happen, there are lies these married men tell.
A story trended some years ago about a man who forged a death certificate for his wife just so that he could cheat.
It doesn’t get worse than this, and that’s why you as a woman should be acquainted with these lies and MO to be able to know where to draw the line and face reality.
In this article, we listen but we don’t judge, which is why we’re not questioning your dating choices.
Our only concern here is revealing the lies married men tell to maintain an affair.
Let’s get right to the crux of the matter.
5 Lies Married Men Tell To Maintain An Affair
1. “I wish I met you before I met my wife.”
I think the statement above is one of the most common lies married men tell to maintain an affair.
Once a married man uses this line on his affair partner, she should be ready to be used in every imaginable way to fulfill fantasies and make up for every inadequacy the man feels he’s having in his marriage.
He’s conditioning her to go over and beyond and give her all to him in the relationship.
He’ll first butter her up by telling her that she’s the best thing that happened to him and other things like that.
Most women are usually moved by what they hear, and by the time he’s done buttering her up, she’ll be so charged and ready to submit even her soul to him as a proof of being a better choice than his wife.
Such a lady needs to step on the brakes of her emotions and face reality.
Even if he met her before his wife and perhaps married her instead, they’ll both be saddled with family responsibilities.
And he’ll probably be telling another lady that he wishes he met her before his wife too.
She needs to realize that they’re enjoying all the fun and feeling all the thrill of the relationship simply because they’re in the honeymoon stage.
They’ll hardly ever get past that stage even.
They’re living in a bubble, and the sneaking around and steaminess involved excites them.
It’s all fun till they’re faced with real life situations that require them to be logical and practical.
That’s when she’ll realize that he has other sides apart from the sweet and loving one she’s used to.
2. “My intention isn’t to hurt you.”
A married man will always tell his affair partner that his intention isn’t to hurt her.
But if he really meant it, he’ll do things differently.
I’m not ruling out the possibility of him caring for her.
He chose to be in a relationship with her, so he must care for her to an extent.
He’ll not lie to her and lead her on if he doesn’t want to hurt her.
The best way to not hurt her is to either let her go and focus on his family or leave his family, end his marriage, and be committed to her.
While he may not intentionally want to hurt her, he never wants to hurt his family.
If push comes to shove, he’ll really choose his family over her.
So, if he says that he doesn’t intend to hurt her, he’s telling lies.
Once he has a family and they’re in the picture, occasions will arise where he’ll choose his family over her.
He’ll never choose her over them and will keep hurting her as long as they’re in a relationship.
3. “My wife makes me unhappy.”
Another lie from the pit of hell that married men tell to maintain an affair is that their wives make them unhappy.
A man like that will tell his affair partner how his wife doesn’t respect him, listen to him, and generally treats him in a poor manner.
He claims that his wife is his major source of unhappiness.
Let’s be honest, any reasonable person will leave if they’re being made unhappy for no reason.
Of course, that’s after trying to resolve the issue(s) unsuccessfully.
The thing about men is that they hardly complain about unfavorable situations.
They just weigh their options, make a decision, and stick to it.
He won’t stay with the major source of his unhappiness and whine, like he’s doing to you.
He’d have left her if that were the case, but he hasn’t, which is an indication that he’s probably telling lies.
Another angle to this is that there are two sides to a story.
Such a man won’t admit to the role he played in contributing to the wife’s bad behavior if his wife truly makes him unhappy.
There are two people in the marriage, and one person cannot become bad while the other person is completely innocent.
He must have contributed in one way or another to the negative behavior that his wife is displaying.
4. “You’re my top priority.”
I once overheard a conversation between two female friends while in a bus on a trip.
It turned out that one of them was in a relationship with a married man, and the other one was trying to talk her out of it.
According to the one in an affair, her lover always reassured her that she’s his top priority.
I’m going to share what her friend told her not only because I agree with her but also because she’s right.
She started by asking her how she sees herself as his priority when, in the actual sense, she’s his secret.
The man has two lives—the secret one with his affair partner and his real life, where he has a wife, children, a social circle, a career, and so much more.
Society expects that every married man will rise up to the occasion and take care of their family.
He doesn’t want to be perceived as irresponsible and incapable if he fails to man up and take care of his responsibilities.
His family will always come first, no matter what’s going on with his affair partner.
Contrary to what he tells her, she’ll never be his top priority.
5. “I’ll leave my wife for you.”
If an audacious cheating married man wants to go a step further with his lies, he’ll go from making the statement in point 1—”I wish I met you before I met my wife.” “—to saying, “I’ll leave my wife for you.”
Wonders will never end!
There’s no length philandering men won’t go to get any woman they want and keep the affair going.
As much as a man like that says and so badly wants to believe it, he knows that it’s a lie.
He won’t leave his wife for his mistress because it’s not as easy as it sounds and seems.
It’s more than just leaving his wife.
It’s about leaving his children, his social circle, and disappointing his loved ones.
A popular Nigerian celebrity is still being cancelled three years after he left his family to marry his mistress, who is also his colleague in his industry.
No one who matters in society wants to associate with him and his second wife openly, probably because of the fear of the cancel culture affecting them too.
Every reasonable man will think about the consequences of leaving his marriage and know that they don’t want it for themselves.
Even if his wife finds out about his mistress and asks him to choose between herself and the mistress, he’ll NEVER choose the mistress.
But he’ll still go on and on to his mistress about how he plans to leave his wife for her, which is a blatant lie.