You may wonder if there are signs a married woman is using you.
You can even doubt the possibility of it being a reality because you can’t fathom how, as a young, single guy, you’ll let a married woman, not even a single lady, use you.
But it happens.
And it can happen to you, right under your nose.
You meet a kind, gorgeous, married woman, and a friendship blooms between you.
It’s purely platonic friendship between you, but you feel that something is off about the friendship.
Although you have good intentions towards her, you’re unsure of her intentions for you.
On some days, she showers you with so much attention and treats you like her best friend; on other days, she acts like you do not exist or you’re a nobody.
If you really like her, it’ll be difficult for you to determine if she’s using you.
That’s why we’re here to help.
This article discusses common signs a married woman is using you.
Keep reading to get the full details.
9 Common Signs A Married Woman Is Using You
1. You pick most or all of her bills
One of the most common signs a married woman is using you is that you pick most or all of her bills.
You’ll notice you pay for everything whenever you’re out together.
The worst part is that she mainly initiates activities that give rise to these bills.
For instance, she invited you on a date, and you pick up the tab.
She asks you to accompany her to shop for her clothes, and you end up paying.
When she has trips related to her work or business, she convinces you to join her, promising that it’ll be fun for you.
She may even entice you with the networking opportunities it presents to you.
And when you agree to go with her, you pay for the lodging and tickets for both of you.
While it’s okay to be kind to your friends and go out of your way to do things for them occasionally, you should know that a friendship is a partnership, and the two of you should meet in the middle.
If you keep picking up most of her bills, it’s clear that she’s only using you for your money.
2. She remembers you only when she needs help
Does she remember you only when she needs your help?
It’s one of the signs a married woman is using you.
She treats you shabbily when things are rosy for her – she may be rude or even ignore your calls and texts.
She’s not interested in meeting you in her free time and tells you to give her some space.
But her behavior changes automatically whenever she needs your help.
She starts acting friendly towards you, sweet-talking you and showering you with compliments.
Are you familiar with this pattern around your married friend?
Although it’s natural to ask for help whenever you’re stuck, but relying on someone else to fulfill your every need and discarding them when you feel that they’re of no use to you is simply exploitation.
If the first thing that comes to your mind whenever you see her texts or calls is that she needs your help, she’s probably using you.
3. The friendship feels one-sided
Like a relationship, a friendship is a two-way street.
Both friends must put in effort for it to work.
But it’s one-sided if you notice that you’re the only one doing all the work in the friendship.
A woman who is in a friendship with genuine intentions will appreciate all your gestures, no matter how little they seem.
She’ll appreciate all your efforts and reciprocate as much as she can.
If she takes your input for granted, there’s a high chance she’s using you.
4. She’s manipulating you
A manipulator is only after meeting their needs in any friendship or relationship.
They are very selfish and don’t care about the other person’s feelings.
If a married woman is using you, she’s controlling your actions and manipulating you to get whatever she wants.
If she makes any mistakes, she’ll turn the table on you, blame you, and coerce you into apologizing for what you didn’t do.
She knows how to withhold things from you just to make you give in to her demands.
Is this a trend in your friendship with this married woman?
It’s one of the signs a married woman is using you.
5. She wants everything to be on her terms
If a woman uses you, she’ll want everything done on her terms.
She won’t value or even use your opinions because she sees you as a means to an end.
Everything she does is for her happiness, regardless of how you feels.
For instance, you make plans and share them with her.
Let’s say you have a finance fair you want her to tag along to because it’ll give her business more visibility, and she’ll meet potential investors and clients there.
But she has other plans, like hanging out with her friends.
She thinks you’re only telling her about the fair because you want her to accompany you.
So, she’ll either try to convince you to join her in her hangout or leave you to your plans.
Perhaps you have also noticed that she is very controlling and only happy when things go her way.
6. You’re an option to her
If you’re an option and not a priority to her, she’s probably using you.
You’ll realize that you’re always her last option – she comes to you only when she has no choice.
And in the spectrum of friendship, it’s wrong on all levels.
Perhaps she’s always busy whenever you need her advice or help.
But when she’s less busy and reaches out to you out of the blue, she expects you to leave everything and come running to her.
She can even stand you up at the last minute if you make plans with her and she finds something more interesting to do with her time.
You should carry your friends along.
Even if they cannot directly help your problem, they can give you moral support.
In your case, you’ll find yourself always competing for her time and attention.
You must be accessible to your friends if you value them.
Clearly, she doesn’t value you, so she treats you less than you deserve as a friend.
7. She always wants sex
A married woman may be using you to satisfy her sexual urges if her husband cannot meet them.
In this case, she gets physically intimate with you and always initiates sex whenever you are around her.
She might refuse to engage in reasonable conversations with you because all she wants is to get laid.
If you have this relationship with a married woman, she is using you.
It is possible she needs a child, and her husband cannot impregnate her, so she uses you to fulfill her desire to mother a child.
8. She doesn’t want a future for you
One way you’ll know that she is using you is that she will frown against your advancement.
She will raise an eyebrow at every romantic relationship you want to pursue because she doesn’t want to lose her pawn.
If you are just friends, it would only make sense for her to be happy that you also desire marriage.
However, because she is using you, she will kick against it and may find fault with every lady you take a liking to.
She wants you all to herself.
9. You’re constantly drained and anxious
What type of friendship makes you feel anxious and drained constantly?
It’s a clearly parasitic relationship!
The type where your friend is using you.
You never do anything right by her standards.
Nothing you do is ever enough for her, and it’ll always make you feel anxious and drained around her.
You’re always running to her aid but getting nothing from her in return.
Coupled with the other signs above, these negative feelings can take a great toll on your mental health.
Conclusion
If you want a healthy friendship, you’re not asking for too much.
You’ve read to this point, so you’ll judge that you’re a good friend to a great extent.
You deserve at least half of the devotion you’re giving.
And if your friendship with this married woman is robbing you of your peace of mind and happiness, you should call it off.
No one is more important than the other – you’re just as important as she is.
Don’t let anyone treat you or make you feel less than you deserve.