In life, we all go through dry spells.
Think of anything we may have in this life; there was probably a time we didn’t have them.
I mean anything except life itself.
Sex is not an exception to this rule.
There is this popular misconception that men are more sexually active than women.
I don’t know who was taking the stats, but one thing I know for sure is that many men can go weeks, months, and even years without being sexually intimate with anyone.
You may be wondering what it feels like when a guy goes through such dry spells.
Well, I can tell you that for free.
It’s a rollercoaster of emotions.
Some days, he wakes up feeling alright and cheerful.
Then there are days that he wakes up feeling so dissatisfied and hankering for a sexual encounter.
At that point, he probably doesn’t even mind if it’s with someone he doesn’t feel anything for.
It’s incredulous, trust me.
At this point, you are wondering why anyone would want to subject themselves to something like this.
Men go on sexual dry spells for many reasons, some of which are their personal choice to prioritize other aspects of their life, health issues, their busy lifestyle, or their religious beliefs and values.
However, how do you recognize a man who has not been sexually active for a while?
Several subtle and not-so-subtle signs can indicate when a man has not been sexually active.
Come along; let’s go through the signs together!
9 Signs That A Man Has Not Been Sexually Active
1. Reduction in flirtation
Every man has it in him to be flirtatious.
We are just skilled to varying degrees at it.
When a man has not been sexually active for a while, you may notice a decrease in how much he flirts with ladies.
It almost looks like he has lost touch with his inner Casanova.
This is especially true if he used to be really flirtatious.
You may be tempted to say he is shy or reserved, but it’s different.
There is a distinct change.
He suddenly switches from being the life of the party to that party pooper who sits by themselves, alone, even in a crowd.
He used to make witty and playful remarks but now seems subdued.
This change could be due to a decision to abstain from sexual activities.
In Nigeria, there is a proverb that goes, “If you won’t eat the soup, don’t bother tasting it.”
It simply means if you don’t want to be involved in something, you shouldn’t attempt to get any closer to it.
Hence, a man who wants to abstain from sex may reduce how much he flirts with ladies because he doesn’t want to pass the wrong message across and put himself in a tight position.
It could also be a result of a lack of confidence in approaching ladies.
When a guy who used to be good at getting the ladies encounters a dry spell, despite his best efforts, he may lose confidence in his ability to approach them.
Reducing flirtation could be a sign that a man has not been sexually active, regardless of the reason for the inactivity.
2. Dramatic change in social pattern
If you think about it deeply, you probably know that one person who suddenly changed from being Mr. Gregarious to someone who hardly relates with others.
I think I can use myself as an example.
I used to love going out and hanging out with friends, especially my female friends.
However, in recent times, I noticed a dramatic change in me.
I hardly leave my house anymore.
It’s not that I am avoiding people.
I am avoiding situations that can get really tricky.
I want to have fun with my friends, but if I feel tension between us, I avoid being caught in certain situations with you.
When a man hasn’t been sexually active for a while, he might start to avoid situations or events that have romantic connotations.
He may make excuses for being busy at work, but he is actually taking a deliberate step back from the social scene.
This may be because he has suffered a lot of rejections lately, or it may be his choice to abstain from sex.
Either way, this could be a sign that a man has not been sexually active.
3. Lack of interest in romantic content
It’s weird, but a person’s social media timeline can reflect the state of their personal life.
It’s not just about what they post; it’s about what they watch, read, or listen to.
A man who has not been sexually active for a while may show a marked lack of interest in romantic content of any sort: movies, books, or songs.
It’s like he has decided to tune out everything that reminds him of what he is missing.
Well, I can be like this, especially with the kind of movies I watch and the books I read.
The only thing that ever makes me read a romance novel is if I am in a relationship with a lady who likes it.
When I am in between relationships, I really don’t want to pursue anything related to romance.
Even couples holding hands can be mildly irritation.
Yeah, there are times I can’t help but dislike love.
If a man suddenly starts skipping romantic content, it could be a sign that he has not been sexually active and wants to avoid anything that could stir up his desires.
4. He gets uncomfortable when romance is spoken about
This is an interesting sign.
A man who has not been sexually active may get uncomfortable anytime sexual or romantic topics are brought up.
He may retreat to the fringes of the group and act as if he is not interested in the conversation.
If called upon to share his opinion, he may act distracted or deflect attention with clumsy humor.
He may even attempt to change the subject of the conversation.
He is not being rude.
He just doesn’t feel comfortable talking about sexual and romantic relations when he is presently being deprived of it.
He may also be avoiding any triggers that may cause a relapse if he is actually deliberately trying to abstain.
5. His advances are too forward
On the flip side, a man who has not been sexually active for some time may be attempting to reconnect to his sexual side.
Because he has spent a lot of time away from the romantic scene, he may have grown rusty and lost his touch.
A major way of knowing a man who hasn’t been sexually active is that he may come on too strongly to a lady he desires.
He may be too touchy and initiate his moves too soon, so it all feels inappropriate and awkward.
I remember seeing this video of Mike Tyson returning to fight after his prime.
Lennox Lewis made him kiss the canvas in eight rounds.
In his prime, Tyson would have made quick work of Lennox Lewis.
Similarly, when you notice a guy bumbling in a romantic scene, it may be a sign that he is just attempting to make a comeback.
You must note that I am not speaking of when a guy attempts to rape you or force himself on you.
That can’t be blamed on him not being sexually active for a long time.
It only means that there is something fundamentally wrong with him.
6. He works too hard
He used to work hard in the past.
Almost all of us do, but he has now become a machine.
He spends so much time working and so little time resting.
Don’t get me wrong, focusing on his career could be a sign that a man is ambitious and serious about his future.
But it could also be a telltale sign that he is not active sexually.
In University, we had this crazy joke about lecturers who fixed early or late classes.
One particular man was fond of doing this.
He would either fix classes for 7 am or 7 pm.
Yeah, you are shocked, too.
No, it’s not night classes.
We had this standing joke that someone needs to ask him if his wife doesn’t let him touch her because why else would you want to be at work that early or late?
When a person works too hard, it could be a sign that they are trying to distract themselves from something.
That “something” could just be sexual inactivity.
7. He avoids physical touch
A man who has not been sexually active may have this closed-off body language that is designed to keep people out.
He may also avoid physical touch, even in a nonsexual context.
It’s a reflex reaction.
He may step back if someone comes close to him, especially if a lady is coming close.
He may also avoid being hugged.
This behavior reflects his discomfort with being touched.
This discomfort could be because he is avoiding them, or it may just be a result of the next sign…
8. He gets easily aroused
A man who hasn’t had sex for a while may get easily aroused.
This increased sensitivity doesn’t mean that his libido has increased.
It is his body’s reaction to the prolonged lack of sexual activity.
This could be the other reason why he doesn’t feel comfortable when people touch him.
Simple things that may not have caused such a reaction in the past now get him aroused.
This easy arousal could be really embarrassing because it happens in the worst places ever.
I have experienced it, and a man’s arousal has its way of announcing itself.
Like the Black Panther, it had this terrible way of choosing uncomfortable moments to announce, “As you can see, I am not dead!”
As I used to tell a friend, “Erection doesn’t mean I have lost control. That dude just down below seems to have a life of its own.”
9. He is nervous in intimate situations
A man who has not been sexually active for a while may be nervous when he is in a situation that hints at intimacy.
You may notice him getting nervous around you, speaking too fast, or just avoiding eye contact.
His nervousness is because he hasn’t been sexually active for a while, and he doesn’t know how to navigate the complexities of flirtation or romantic conversations.
The fact is that it all probably feels weird to him, and he may seem out of his depth.
Ultimately, I don’t think it is difficult to spot a man who has not been sexually active for a while if you are close to them.
The signs are always there.