There are specific days that are very special that you look forward to earnestly.
One such is your first date.
The first date is so important, and there is a desire in everyone’s heart to have a memorable first date.
However, this is not everyone’s fate.
If you are about to have your first date or are healing from a botched first date, consider this article a one-stop shop for clarity.
Let’s look at 17 things you should never do on a first date together.
17 Things You Should Never Do On A First Date
1. Don’t give it all away
Oversharing is one of the biggest issues of first dates.
It is a first date, and whether you are meeting this person for the first time or have been previously acquainted, don’t give it all away.
There is the temptation to talk a lot and tell everything about you.
What happened the day you were born… your secrets… your parent’s secrets… everything about your life.
Please get a grip on yourself and avoid TMI (too much information) on your first date.
It is creepy and doesn’t speak well of you.
2. Don’t initiate or encourage sex
This screams, “Hey, I’m cheap; you can have me!”
Hello?
You are getting to know this person newly, so sex shouldn’t even be on the menu.
Suggesting or talking about it is a No NO on a first date.
3. Don’t be late
It’s a date because you both agreed on a time, day, and meeting place.
Lateness, especially without a reasonable excuse and calling prior to informing your date about it, is very rude.
It sends the quietly loud message that you lack integrity and don’t value people’s time.
4. Don’t be engrossed on your phone
Walk into a restaurant today, and I bet you will find the most important person at the tables chilling in the middle of the table: the phones.
You may even notice two or more persons engrossed in their phones while their partner talks to them.
Phone addiction is fast becoming a pandemic.
You should be present on your first date or any date at all; your partner deserves that.
Put the phone away…
The chats, calls, and text messages can wait.
5. Don’t talk about your ex
It’s a date, not a catholic confession.
Whatever you do, don’t make your past or ex the dominant topic of your date.
Whether you speak glowingly or harshly about your ex, making them the elephant in the room is very awkward.
6. Don’t talk about marriage and your future
Please note that this person has not asked for your hand or agreed to marry you.
You shouldn’t bother them with talks about marriage, family life, parenting, and your future together.
You are only getting to know them, which doesn’t mean you will end up married.
7. Don’t be a nervous wreck
Nerves can be the enemy when you are over-excited.
Calm the butterflies in your tummy and speak calmly.
My friend once shared that she is the most confident person until she is face to face with a guy she likes, then she suddenly becomes tongue-tied and starts to act retarded.
Nerves!
Tell yourself it’s just a date, even if it’s with a guy or lady you like, so your nerves and mind are not in hyper mode.
8. Don’t overeat or get drunk
The fact that it is a date and eating and drinking are involved doesn’t mean you should lose your home training.
This is especially true if your date takes you to an exotic restaurant or a place you are unfamiliar with.
Also, don’t get drunk even if your date suggests and encourages it.
Refrain from having alcohol, and if you must have it, do so moderately, as getting drunk will cast you in a bad light or endanger your life.
9. Don’t be rude/ slander others
Have you met people who love to gist and talk about others?
Wherever they feel comfortable, they go full fledged, spewing colorful tales about others.
Let this not be you.
Don’t talk badly about your parents, boss, or authority figures; it sends strong red flags.
Similarly, you shouldn’t be rude to the waiters or waitresses attending to you.
How you treat people you feel are under you speaks volumes about you.
10. Don’t dominate the conversation
I had an acquaintance who was best at being the lord and king of conversations.
He was so skilled at dominating discussions that it would be a miracle for you to say a sentence.
How did I feel about it?
Exhausted!
Conversations with him always knocked the wind out of my sails, so I just avoided him instead.
Don’t dominate the conversation; it means you don’t value the input of others and you are arrogant.
11. Don’t talk about work or controversial topics
Certain touchy topics can turn friends into fire-breathing foes in an instant.
Politics and football are one of such.
It is a first date, remember?
You may want to stay clear of such topics until actual friendship and connection are established.
If you are a strongly opinionated person or your partner is, then you should tread softly so your date doesn’t turn into World War 3.
12. Don’t dress indecently
Some think this is only for men, but let me burst your bubble; it is also for men.
The saying “You will be addressed the way you are dressed” holds very true.
My high school principal used to say, “Nobody will give you a second chance to make the first impression.”
It is a first date, so opinions and impressions are formed as this person gets to meet, know, and interact with you.
If you dress to your date like a slut, your partner will have the preconceived notion that you are one.
Similarly, if you dress to your first date wearing outfits that reveal your chest and your swollen groin, then your partner may not be comfortable around you.
Indecent dressing also covers dressing shabbily for your first date.
13. Don’t probe too much
Chai! (Nigerian exclamation)
I have met very nosy people who like to know everything and will ask and probe until you tell them, and frankly, it is annoying.
Don’t bug your date for too much information or probe endlessly, even when they are unyielding.
We already talked about oversharing.
Accept that it is a first date, and you can’t know everything about this individual in one day.
Trying to milk a person of information on a first date will be disrespectful and obnoxious.
14. Don’t profess undying love/ overcompliment
So your date may be everything you hoped and dreamed for, but over-complimenting or confessing undying love for them on the first date goes too far.
It can weird them out.
Keep your compliments simple, and try not to start telling them about your lofty love dreams for both of you on your first date.
I once went out with a guy, and the first thing he started talking about was how much he loved me and wanted me to be the mother of his children.
“Dude… I don’t even know you, and you don’t know me?!” was the dominant thought playing in my head.
I allowed him to ramble on, but I was done!
Let’s say that was the last time I gave him the opportunity to sit and talk with me again.
15. Don’t be too self-absorbed/ arrogant
Those people who make the conversations about themselves are always so annoying!
I have met people like this, and trust me, if you do this on your first date, that’s not just a red flag; it is a red signboard!
Never show arrogance or act like the person at the other end of the table is a fan who is there to cheer you on.
Get a grip on yourself.
16. Don’t keep checking the time
I believe that romantic dates are not for busy bees.
I mean, why would you agree on a date with someone only to spend most of the time looking hurried and glancing at your watch?
It is very dishonoring of your partner to do such.
It is important to be present on your first date and not give your date the impression that spending that time with you is a waste.
No one wants to be referred to as a time waster.
17. Don’t pick calls frequently
This is fast becoming a big issue.
Personally, I hate being interrupted by calls when I am vested in a conversation.
It is rude to keep interrupting your date to pick up calls, no matter the case.
If it is an emergency, it is more honorable to rain check and agree with your date on a more convenient time to meet.
I believe these tips will help you navigate and get the best out of your first date.
I wish you all the best!