One thing to know about cheaters is that they hardly want to face their reality.
Having an affair is an escape from reality, and a cheater is just content to keep living in that cocoon with their head high up in the clouds.
Another thing is that you don’t expect a cheater to accept that they’re wrong and take responsibility for their actions, even if they’re caught in the act.
It’s always their stock in trade to try to turn around and blame someone else, especially their significant other, for ‘pushing’ them to cheat.
Most times, the turn of events, from when a cheater is caught and accused to when they try to play the blame game, is both shocking and surprising.
Cheaters usually have their way with words, so, confusing and making their accuser to doubt their own self is a walk in the park for them.
How do they achieve it?
Let’s take a look at the things cheaters say to confuse you and make you doubt yourself.
5 Things Cheaters Say To Confuse You And Make You Doubt Yourself
1. “You don’t know what you think that you saw”
Except a cheater was caught red-handed, expect them to completely deny ever cheating on their partner.
Even if the accuser saw something but wasn’t really sure, the cheater’s denial and the statements they’ll use to back up their defense will further confuse the accuser and make them doubt their self.
The accuser will be wondering if their eyes were playing tricks on them when they saw what they saw.
Expect to hear statements in the line of, “I didn’t leave my office during lunch break yesterday, so it wasn’t me you saw”.
“I’ve not plied the route that leads to that restaurant in weeks, let alone go to that place with another person.”
“You’re accusing me falsely because I was out with the boys after work hours that day.”
“Your friend probably saw someone else and not me. I’ve not gone out with any other woman since I met you.”
They can even get some of their fraudulent friends to corroborate their story.
And that’s how their partner starts second-guessing their eyes, mind, and of course, their friends who have their best interest at heart and are only looking out for them.
2. “You’re imagining things”
One of the things cheaters say to confuse you and make you doubt yourself is that you’re imagining things.
Also, expect to hear statements in the line of, “you’re always acting crazy and paranoid about issues that concern me”.
They might even tell you that it’s not what you’re thinking.
A serial cheat is a gaslighter, and a very good one at that.
Once they’re confronted and they suspect that their accuser is onto their game, they’ll resort to manipulation.
They will so distort the person’s mind with their excellent manipulative skills that the accuser won’t be able to differentiate their imaginations from what’s real and true.
When caught in a compromising position with someone who is not their partner, a cheat might tell their accuser that the person is ‘just a friend’.
To further bury the seed of doubt that they’ve planted in the accuser’s (who is likely their partner) mind, they’ll start lamenting and complaining about how their partner’s overbearing attitude and constantly monitoring their actions and movements is the reason why they don’t have any friends of the opposite gender.
The partner wasn’t the one who was caught, accused, or confronted for cheating.
But somehow, they find themselves apologizing to and trying to placate their cheating partner at the end of the day.
3. “It wasn’t serious”
One of the things cheaters say to confuse you and make you doubt yourself is that it wasn’t serious.
Like, their disloyal action isn’t serious to them.
Unbelievable!
They’ll agree to what they’re being accused of.
In the same breath, they’ll turn around and try to downplay the enormity and seriousness of their actions.
They’ll try to imply that you’re overreacting to what they did.
They’ll say things like, “It was just sex to me. I don’t love him/her. You’re the one I love.”
Story!
Next, please.
“It was a moment of weakness.”
No, it wasn’t.
Sex is premeditated and not spontaneous, especially between people who are not partners.
“It was just a mistake that happened only once.”
Again, sex is not a mistake.
And how are we to believe that it happened just once?
“It was just sex. It’s not a big deal.”
Who said that sex isn’t a big deal?
“We didn’t even have sex. We only exchanged texts.”
Emotional cheating is a thing and is a valid form of cheating.
If someone feels hurt that their partner cheated emotionally, their feelings are valid.
No one should try to shut them up or downplay the hurt they’re feeling as a result of an action that’s as serious as cheating.
4. “It’s your fault”
I doubt that this list of things cheaters say to confuse you and make you doubt yourself will be complete without this point.
A cheat hasn’t been inducted into the union of cheaters (if there’s anything like that, lol) if they haven’t played the blame game.
It’s typical for a cheat to blame anyone but themselves for their actions.
They cheat and try to push the blame for their bad behavior onto someone else, especially their partner.
They’ll say things like, “You’re not versatile in bed”.
“You’re never in the mood for sex.”
“Sex with you always feels like a chore, and I don’t enjoy it.”
“You’re always too busy with work and don’t have time for me.”
“You hardly listen to me and are hardly there for me, but s/he does.”
“She/he seduced me.”
The list of excuses is endless.
5. “Don’t leave me if you’ve forgiven me”
When a cheat is caught in the act, one of the things they’ll try to do is guilt trip their partner and make them move past the cheating episode as if it never happened in the first place.
They’ll apply so much pressure on guilt tripping, especially if the partner clearly stated that cheating is one of their deal breakers.
Expect a cheat to act repentant and become frantic when calling on their loved ones to interfere and help in begging their partner.
Partners to cheats who were caught in the act should expect to hear the statements below from them: “Don’t leave me if you’ve forgiven me.”
“I really love you. I know you don’t believe any word I say right now, but give me another chance to prove my love for you.”
“I know that I’ve lied to you countless times, and my words probably don’t mean anything to you right now, but I still love you, and I’m willing to do right by you.”
“I hate myself for hurting you this way, but I’ll never forgive myself if you leave me because of this.”
By saying these things, cheaters aim to make their partner feel that they’ve reacted enough to their bad behavior and should probably let it go.
Also, they’ll want their partner to stick with them and carry on like that ugly incident never happened.
Don’t be fooled by their words and repentant actions.
They might likely cheat again.