There’s a saying that goes thus – ‘When you rush into something, you tend to rush out of it’.
Sadly, that saying doesn’t apply to marriage because although one can rush into marriage, one can’t quite ‘rush out’ of it.
When a divorce process is ongoing, someone can be separated from their spouse for years before the divorce is finalized.
Of course, the cost of getting a divorce isn’t cheap either.
The bottom line is that there’s usually no ‘rushing out’ of marriage anywhere in the world, as the process of divorce takes a whole lot of time.
Marriage was originally meant to bind two people together forever.
An institution that gives no room for ‘rushing out’ should never be rushed into in the first place.
It should ideally take time and careful consideration for one to decide to settle down with their spouse.
Some persons who are separated or divorced have admitted that rushing into marriage was one of the major reasons their unions ended.
There’ll always be signs that one is rushing into marriage, but sometimes, one might not notice.
Based on that, this article was birthed.
Perhaps you feel, or someone suggested, that you’re rushing into marriage, and you want to confirm or disprove it.
The signs you’re rushing into marriage that are listed and explained in this piece will help you get a clearer picture of what’s happening and the next step you should take.
6 Signs You’re Rushing Into Marriage
1. You suspect that things are moving too fast
One of the best things to trust in life is your instinct.
If it ever gives you even the slightest hint that you’re moving very fast towards marriage, then it might just be the case.
Please note that I’m not referring to the cold feet that some people develop a few days before their wedding.
I’m referring to having a constant nagging feeling that things are going too fast towards marriage.
A tiny voice might be suggesting that you should take things slowly.
It’ll be in your best interest to listen to that voice.
Talk to your intending spouse about your feelings and take some time to process it.
I don’t think that there’s any need whatsoever to rush into marriage, especially if there’s no threat to life.
Anyone who is in this shoes should take all the time they need to figure things out before going ahead with the marriage.
2. You haven’t had the important discussions
Who talks about marriage when they haven’t had the important discussions with their intended spouse?
I’d say someone who is rushing into marriage.
In my opinion, conversations are the foundation of every relationship, and should be built to be solid.
If a relationship is progressing towards marriage, it ideally means that the people involved have had important and difficult conversations bordering spending their lives together.
It is needful to have conversations about having kids, the number of kids to birth, love languages, core values, financial lifestyles, and other crucial areas.
A person who says they’re getting married and don’t know if they’re on the same page with their partner on these important topics is probably rushing into marriage.
3. You get encouragement from similar love stories
One of the signs you’re rushing into marriage is that you’re constantly looking for validation and reassuring yourself that there are people who tow the same path as you, and are still in happy marriages.
It still falls back to our first point.
If a person ever feels like they’re rushing into marriage, then, perhaps they truly are.
Rather than take a step back from all the noise and anticipation of a wedding to focus on the things that matter which is the actual marriage and their intending spouse, they start seeking validation to support their decision.
They look for true life stories online, in books, and in movies where couples met each other, got married within six months, and lived happily ever after.
I mean, if it worked out well for the people in the stories, it can work for anyone.
They take solace in the fact that there’s no set formula for marriage.
So, they draw strength and courage from other couples who got married quickly and are living happily, and convince themselves that they’re doing the right thing.
4. You’ve not really seen your partner’s behavior
Perhaps a relationship is still in the introductory phase and the couple are all talks about what they can or cannot do.
They’ve not experienced each other’s behavior in real life.
Although it’s important to have realistic conversations surrounding life and marriage with your partner, but it’s not all there is.
You need to see them back up these talks with actions.
If they say that they’re honest, you need to see them act it out in different scenarios.
Do they have a specific long-term goal?
You should see their physical workings towards making that goal a reality.
Marriage is more of actions than words.
Someone who is rushing into marriage might only be holding onto what their partner said, and not what they’ve seen them do.
If they get into the marriage and realize that their partner’s actions do not match their words, it’ll be too late for them to back out.
5. Your relationship hasn’t gone through the lows
A relationship that will stand the test of time must go through the highs and lows.
Perhaps a couple is still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.
In the honeymoon phase, things are usually perfect — everyone is in their best behavior, no one is getting on the other’s nerves, and there are no fights, arguments, and disagreements.
Some people who are not privy to what a relationship entails will see that phase as the entirety of what an ideal relationship should be, but that’s a wrong mindset.
I’m not implying that a relationship should be filled with fights and arguments.
Far from it.
What I’m saying is that a couple will not always see eye-to-eye on every issue, but they can always resolve such issues amicably.
The mistake some people make is to assume that a relationship should be devoid of disagreements.
It usually happens in the honeymoon stage of the relationship before the couple gets too comfortable with each other and reality sets in.
So, talking about marriage and planning towards it when you’re in the honeymoon phase is one of the signs you’re rushing into marriage.
Give yourself time for that stage to phase out.
Get comfortable with each other and get into the relationship properly before revisiting the topic of marriage.
6. People pressure you to get married
A woman who was on a podcast mentioned how she dated her ex-husband for five years and separated after three months of being married.
Everyone was shocked when she said that they rushed into marriage.
I mean, where’s the rush when they were together for five years?
According to her, they were comfortable with each other in the relationship and had no plans of getting married to each other.
However, the comments from people about how they’ve been together for long and how they’re a perfect match started getting to them.
She also mentioned pressure from their families to legalize their relationship.
They eventually got married as it seemed like the right thing to do after being together for many years.
Ironically, their relationship ended up lasting longer than their marriage.
One of the signs you’re rushing into marriage is that people pressure you to get married.
Are you getting married because you want to, and are ready to go on the forever journey with your spouse?
Or are you marrying them because people think that you both look good together?
Your answer holds the key to your current puzzle.