Imagine the frustration of having an adult son who treats his mother poorly.
To a parent, I’m not sure there’s anything more frustrating than your child disrespecting you, but these things happen anyway.
It’s expected that a special bond exists between a mother and son.
That’s the way it should be.
So, if as a mother, you feel bad because of the poor and ill-treatment you’re receiving from your adult son, you’re well within your rights to feel that way.
There are various reasons why you’re getting such treatment from your son.
Now, let’s look at the sons who treat their mothers poorly.
If you read to the end, I’m sure you’ll understand why your acts this way towards you.
We’ll also share some ways to develop a healthy relationship with your son.
Let’s get started!
8 Types Of Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly
1. Sons who have unsettled emotional problems
One of the types of sons who treat their mothers poorly is the sons who have unsettled emotional problems.
It’s normal for the young men in your home and around you to deal with many emotional issues.
It’s normal for adult guys to have some emotional problems on their plates.
These emotional issues include heartbreak, disappointment, failure, and frustration.
It’s a part of their growth, handling experiences, and dealing with relationships.
If the problems he’s facing remain unsettled for a very long time, it’ll start getting to him and will, in turn, cause him to lash out at and transfer the bottled-up emotions to his mother and other people around him.
For these kinds of sons, their mothers tend to bear most of the brunt of their ill-treatment because they’re usually closer to them.
2. Immature sons
Another category you can find under the types of sons who treat their mothers poorly is those who are not yet mature or mature enough.
We all know that men usually do not mature as rapidly as women.
At least, it’s evident around us every day.
We see girls and boys in the same age grade relate but notice that the girls act more maturely than their male counterparts.
This lack of early maturity in boys can influence some of them and affect how they treat and relate to their mothers.
It doesn’t matter if they’re in their twenties.
They may still be going through the teenage stage, focused on themselves.
In that stage, they usually have great difficulties understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that other people around them also have needs that must be met.
3. Sons who experienced trauma during childhood
As a mother, did your son experience any type of trauma during his childhood?
Perhaps you shouted at him so much or beat him often when he was a child and were generally too hard on him back then.
Now that he’s an adult, he feels he has the upper hand and treats you poorly.
It might have caused behavioral and emotional problems in him that he doesn’t hesitate to take out on you at will these days.
He’s probably holding onto some resentment towards you for the unpleasant childhood experiences.
Maybe he feels you didn’t do your part or do enough to shield him when he was a child and now holds you responsible for whatever unfortunate incident(s) he went through back then.
So he’s taking out his frustration on you.
4. Sons who are revolting against their controlling mothers
At this point, I think that as a mother, you should take a step back and quickly assess how you relate with your son.
Are you unapproachable, unappreciative, and controlling towards him?
Perhaps most things you do concerning him are a ploy to keep him on the edge and never comfortable around you.
Well, I must say that it’s wrong to take your fears and frustrations out on your children.
Your son is treating you poorly, probably because he is revolting against your controlling behavior and all the negative treatments you’ve subjected him to in the past.
He’s tired of being a pushover.
He’s no longer a child now and, to a great extent, can make his own decisions.
Since you don’t want to acknowledge his efforts, he’ll resort to slighting and going against you to get his message across.
5. Sons who are easily influenced by others
Your son is still growing, so it’s normal for many people to want a say in his life.
As a young man, he has friends, mentors, and role models.
If he’s not well grounded in differentiating right from wrong, he may start listening to and implementing negative advice from others.
One of such negative advice may be to treat you poorly.
As they say, “bad company corrupts good manners.”
If he keeps hanging out with or around people who give him only bad advice on how to live his life, he’s bound to start misbehaving.
Similarly, he might see how his friends treat their mothers poorly and assume that it’s a normal and proper way to act.
6. Frustrated Sons
Frustrated sons are among the types of sons who treat their mothers poorly.
A young man can venture into different types of businesses or other endeavors, and one at a time, they all crumble.
Tired of the constant failures, he may pour out his aggression on his loved ones or those close to him.
In this case, it’s easily his mother, especially if they still live under the same roof.
7. The spoilt or entitled sons
A spoilt son or one with an entitlement mentality can treat his mother poorly.
Let’s say that he’s the only son.
Or he was pampered silly by his parents or mum in particular.
Maybe while growing up, he wasn’t allowed to do anything by himself, and he got used to being served getting things done for him by other people.
If he grew up with an entitlement mentality, it may make him treat his mother poorly.
Nothing his parents do for him will ever seem enough for him.
If you listen to him talk, you’ll find him constantly complaining about how his parents didn’t do or are not doing enough for him.
He’s bearing a grudge for them or his mum specifically due to his entitlement mentality.
8. Sons whose mothers were absent from their lives
Another group of sons who treat their mothers poorly are the sons whose mothers were absent from their lives in the early stages of their lives.
Perhaps she was absent due to separation or divorce, but it doesn’t matter to him.
He feels that no excuse she gives is enough reason for her to leave him.
So he resents her and treats her poorly because of it.
How To Develop A Healthy Relationship With Your Son
As a mother, you’ll find some helpful tips on developing a healthy relationship with your son below.
1. Establish healthy boundaries
In parent-child relationships, establishing healthy boundaries is very important.
Hear from him and make sure you thoroughly understand the reasonable expectations he has of you.
In the same vein, ensure that he completely understands your expectations of him.
He must respect all the boundaries you’ve set.
Optionally, you can attach some reasonable penalties for whenever he defaults and ensure he follows through with them whenever he falls below expectations.
That way, he’ll be kept in check and always be on his best behavior.
2. Work on effective communication
Communication is essential if you must have a healthy relationship with your son.
It’s crucial that when your son is talking, you listen to him attentively.
Let him feel heard.
Of course, he’ll listen to you when you speak.
See it as exemplary leadership.
Teach and encourage him to convey his feelings and opinions respectfully.
3. Let him know that you support him
As children, nothing beats the feeling you have when you know that your parents support you and have your back.
Tell and show him that you support him.
It comes with a natural morale boost.
He must know that you have high hopes for him, believe in him, and are optimistic about the great things he can achieve.
Compliment him when he does well and reprimand him gently when he doesn’t.
Stand by him every step of the way.
No child will ever forget that.