Have you been asking yourself, ‘Why do I attract emotionally immature guys?’
You’re in the right place.
This article will show you the top reasons you attract emotionally immature guys.
You’ll also learn how to handle emotionally immature guys.
Have you ever had this experience – you meet a guy that you can swear is the right one, you go on a few dates, and you stop hearing from him?
Or whenever you’re with a guy you’re interested in, he’s either glued to his phone or talking about himself throughout the time you spend together.
You’re not alone.
One of the top complaints of many successful, intelligent women about the guys they date or meet is that they’re mostly emotionally immature.
So, what could be the reason for this?
Is there something you’re doing or not doing that’s attracting this type of man to you?
Let’s find out.
Why Do I Attract Emotionally Immature Guys: 6 Top Reasons
1. You like emotionally immature guys
Perhaps you’ve been convinced to believe that immature guys are the ‘in thing’, so you are now attracted to any guy who is emotionally immature.
It can be as bad as you believe that a beautiful, successful and intelligent woman like you can help an emotionally immature man become mature.
Psychologically, this your stand on having a relationship with emotionally immature guys points to a deep-seated insecurity or problem from your childhood that still needs to be addressed.
In fact, you need to heal from it if childhood experience is the trigger.
Emotionally mature men who are ready to be in relationships are different.
Once you see them, you can tell the difference.
They hold their values, balance and integrity dear to them, are well-grounded in whatever they do, and don’t care so much about the world’s definition of success.
While they may seem boring at the talking stage or beginning of the relationship, they are pure gold in relationships.
If you can change your orientation and give one of them a try, you’ll find it out in the long run.
2. You believe you can change him
Another possible reason you attract emotionally immature guys is that you believe you can change him into a mature and responsible person.
I don’t doubt the possibility of having a natural desire to fix broken people.
The important question is, ‘Do emotionally immature men improve with time?’
The urge to heal or help someone is a confidential emotion that may draw you closer to the person.
Have it at the back of your mind that you can’t help or heal someone suddenly.
And you definitely cannot change an emotionally immature guy who’s not ready to change.
For emotional immaturity, the change has to be a decision of the individual; if not, you’re wasting your time.
The change will only occur when he’s willing to work towards it.
3. You’re emotionally immature
You might be attracting emotionally immature guys because you are emotionally immature.
While it might seem contradictory, the world mirrors you and brings similar people your way.
You might be able to discover that you have a similar pattern with immature guys if you regard each date as an opportunity to learn and improve yourself.
Some questions you should answer honestly are:
Have you entirely healed from your previous relationships, or are you still afraid of being vulnerable, guarded and hurt?
Do you still resent your loved ones for something that happened in the past?
Do you dedicate time to dating and growing a promising relationship, or is your work your only priority?
Can you listen to someone else with full attention to what they’re saying?
Are you carried away by your phone when you should be present for someone else?
Do you find yourself suppressing your emotions?
If you can answer these questions, you’ll be able to tell if you’re emotionally immature or not.
4. You’re thrilled by the chase
There’s an excitement and thrill that comes with being chased.
In the beginning, nothing will feel monotonous or uninteresting.
If you enjoy the thrills of the chase, you’ll find yourself being drawn to an emotionally immature guy.
Don’t beat yourself up – it’s natural to feel drawn to someone or something that makes you happy.
5. You’re extra nice
You might be attracting emotionally immature guys because you are too nice, and it can be a difficult trait for most women.
All your life, you’ve been taught and successfully learned how to be nice and play by the rules – fine-tuning and smoothing your way through life and to the top of your career.
But when it comes to your relationship, you know that you want more dedication and commitment from your partner, but you don’t know how to bring up the conversation because niceness has been ingrained into you.
You know that your partner is emotionally immature, but you cannot speak out or leave him for fear of hurting him.
The sad part is that you make a mental note to avoid emotionally immature guys at the end of each relationship.
Still, when a new guy comes along and initially smothers you with love and affection, you’ll be far too gone in love to think straight when he starts dropping the signs that he is emotionally immature.
And then, you keep making excuses for him and why you should remain with him.
Your subconscious needs readjustment, which can be achieved through counselling and therapy.
6. You don’t know what you want
Another good reason you keep attracting emotionally immature guys is that you don’t know what you want.
If you’re clueless about the qualities you want in a man, you’ll attract any type of man.
And it’s quite unfortunate that in this type of scenario, people who don’t know what they want rarely attract good things – in your case, you might not be lucky enough to get yourself a good, emotionally mature man.
Even if you do, you won’t realize the gold you have in your hands simply because you didn’t define the qualities you want in a man.
And in most occasions, you’ll let the good guy go before you realize his worth.
But you’ll find yourself sticking to and fighting to keep these emotionally immature guys.
Do you fit in the description above?
Knowing the qualities you want in a man is key – it’ll serve as a guide whenever any man comes along.
If he doesn’t tick most or all your boxes, send him on his way.
If he does and you think you might like him, give him a try.
You either learn from the relationship or have a beautiful and successful relationship.
Either way, it’s a win-win for you.
Why Do I Attract Emotionally Immature Guys: What To Do
The state of being emotionally immature shouldn’t be a permanent thing for someone willing to change.
You can’t force an emotionally immature guy to become mature if he doesn’t see the need to or just doesn’t want to.
Don’t forget that the change will happen only when he decides to change.
In the meantime, what you can do for yourself is self-evaluation.
Try to be a better person and do away with every guy showing signs of emotional immaturity around you.
That way, you’ll be ready to receive emotionally mature guys when they come.
Conclusion
Even if you’ve been attracting and dating emotionally immature guys from time immemorial, all hope is not lost.
Clear out the cobwebs and skeletons in your closet and start on a fresh page.
Learn the proper communication and relationship skills too.
It’s good that you’ve already gone through the possible reasons why you attract emotionally immature men – stay away from such reasons.
Remember that the universe will return similar energy you give off.
If you don’t want to keep attracting emotionally immature guys, stop doing anything that’ll suggest that you’re emotionally immature or are interested in such people.